Free Fall

let me fall away. Too escape from my own hell of my.

free fall

by ~bloodysnows

my head keep pounding my mind with sadness.
I climb up to the eagle of the roof of the school.
as high as heaven is up there...
but i know i won't be seeing my mother of father in heaven...
or any of my friends or family...
they bring nothing but pain to me...
with all the yelling and screaming and all the pain they bring to me to this town where every one hates me or treat me like s**t...

I rather die than live in a world full of crack heads and gangs and churchy b*****s who fear to make a sin and go to hell.
I to want to be in a world like that....A world or fear and point less s**t.

I remember the bully's who slap me or talk s**t to me behind my back.
I also remember the fake friends who say they got my back but when ever i was in s**t...they just left me alone in the dark and trap in pain.

I climb over the rails of the roof top to keep people from failing off... feeling the time starting to slow down.

I slip off my shoes too send them a message of what i gonna do.
I then grab hold of the rail tight as i can and look down on the road where everyone is around.

I then start to flash back to when i was by my mother before she die she call me an angle.

I then give out tears and scream out "I SORRY MOMMA"
I then let go and fall down feeling the time slowing down and the air going pass my body.
AS THIS ANGLE FALLING IN TO HELL.

BOOM i hit the sidewalk and everyone is screaming and shock seeing my body there live less and dead as my soul go into hell in to my escape or where ever it go when someone die.
maybe to a new born baby or a animal or a tree.....

BIT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I ESCAPE FROM MY PAIN AND FROM THE REAL HELL OF MY.....

written by* bloodysnows as also know as helldog and damian albidrez

Reviews

[BenightedWhispers]

I like the emotion and passion in this work, but there were quite a few mistakes that kept me from fully diving into the work. For one, when referring to the pronoun, "I", I must be capitalized. There are also a few more things I noticed:

I rather die than live in a world full of crack heads and gangs and churchy b*****s who fear to make a sin and go to hell. - How about, "I would rather die than live in a world full of crack heads, gangs, and church-"devout" b*****s who fear making a sin and going to hell."

I to want to be in a world like that....A world or fear and point less s**t.- Did you mean, "I don't want to be in a world like that....A world of fear and pointless s**t"

I also remember the fake friends who say they got my back but when ever i was in s**t...they just left me alone in the dark and trap in pain.- "Also, I remember the fake friends who always say they have my back, but whenever I was in s**t...they just left me alone in the dark and trapped in pain."

I slip off my shoes too send them a message of what i gonna do.- "Slipping off my shoes too, I send them a message of what I'm going to do."

BOOM i hit the sidewalk and everyone is screaming and shock seeing my body there live less and dead as my soul go into hell in to my escape or where ever it go when someone die.
maybe to a new born baby or a animal or a tree..... - "Boom! I hit the sidewalk, and everyone is screaming and in shock seeing my body there lifeless and dead as my soul goes into hell in my escape or wherever it goes when someone dies...maybe to a newborn baby, an animal, or even a tree....."

BIT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I ESCAPE FROM MY PAIN AND FROM THE REAL HELL OF MY..... - "What I do know is that I escape from my pain! My pain and from the real hell of my..."

I understand the context of what you convey, but in my humble opinion, cursing in a poem can really play down the emotion and meaning of the poem. I have written a poem with several curse words, but it rhymes and plays along with the meaning. Maybe placing a few “s**t” words in certain places would help with this.