Total Eclipse of the Heart

A Story by chairene

A passionate yet toxic kind of love

We share a passionate, yet toxic kind of love.

I know deep inside my heart that I have you here with me. Call me over-protective but in reality, I’m just terrified. I’m afraid that one day you’ll wake up and realize that you don’t love me anymore. I hate the idea of goodbyes. Ever since my father died, my mom left me hanging onto a promise~ a broken promise of her return. She left me with a seven-letter-word, Goodbye. The last thing that I could picture in my mind is, my mom, giving me a ghostly kiss on my cheek.

I won’t forget the day that you knocked on my door. The first thing that I saw when I opened the door is your smile. It was enough to make my day. But no, there’s so much more. You gave me a bouquet of flowers, with a note, “Smile, it looks good on you.” I smiled after and you laughed. I swear, you were the sunshine after the rain. Your boyish laughter echoed around the room. I gave you a questioning look once I figured out the genre of the book you gave me, which is romance.

“What? Perfect love stories only exist in books” You told me

“What about chivalry? Does it only exist in ladies’ movies?” I argued

You stared at me for a moment. You became serious and the playboy façade you had a while ago, it was all gone. Your right hand found its way to my chin. You made me look at you. Your eyes were filled with concern.

“If you let me court you all the way, I’ll prove to you that chivalry and perfect love stories exist in real life.” You said while looking at me lovingly.

Wow. Is that the way you ask permission nowadays? But since you’re charming and hard to resist, I nodded.

“Sure, just don’t hurt and leave me the way everyone else did.”

“Promise, I won’t hurt you.”

But, to hurt me, is what you just did.

I remember the days when my mom used to call me a fool. She never treated me like a daughter, for her, I was just a certain stranger. I knew she was just after my dad’s money. My dad never knew. It’s like she made him drink something that made him fall head over heels for her, somewhat a drug.

“Earth to you.” You said as you pinched me harshly.

I can feel the blood rushing down my cheek. I was used to this. You know, this relationship of ours, it’s something sweet yet poisoning. Like a good-looking meal, waiting to be devoured. Like a sweet message but, deep inside, a trap. It’s like a bunch of “sweet” candies, once you start eating, you’ll never have the chance to stop.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” You said after you nursed the wound.

Months, wait, scratch that. It only took you 3 weeks to win me completely. I can’t even get over the fact that you stayed. Usually, people come and go. But you entered my life without saying a thing and brought a beautiful mess, a mess that is hard to clean up once you choose to leave.

I tried my best to be the perfect one for you. That you won’t have to leave me. But seems like you’re pushing me away. Like you’re rebuilding the wall around you, the wall that I once breached.

Soft knocks were heard from my door. I hastened to open it, expecting to see you.

But no, I didn’t see your face, rather, there was a red rose, and attached to it was a note.

I went inside my room and sat on my bed. I reached for the note.

“To my baby,

I’m sorry I have to do this but, I know that someday, you’ll understand.

I love you, but, I’m breaking up with you.”

I cried hard. I knew that our relationship was falling apart. I hugged my pillow as if it was you. I took the rose that you gave me and held it tightly. I winced as the thorns pricked me. Seconds after, blood covered the note and my right hand.

They say to feel pain is good. It means that I’m alive and I’m not numb. I thought I was used to feel pain since the death of my father. But boy, I was wrong.

The door flung open. It was him.

“What do you want?” I asked coldly

“I needed to say goodbye before I go.”

“Isn’t ‘I’m breaking up with you’ a form of goodbye?!” I shouted

I’m sick of being the one to adjust. I hate that I have to do this, I have to that. For Pete’s sake I’m not even his slave. I’m his girlfriend. Well, maybe ex-girlfriend. I hate the fact that I’m letting him go. It’s just that, I love him too much to do that.

But I was shocked when I see you lying on the floor.

You never told me you were dying.

2 years later…

I knew you wanted to be happy before you pass away. I knew I promised you that I’ll never let go. I even told you I should be the first one to die. But you were hard-headed and still proved to me how great a man of chivalry you were. *note sarcasm*

You were buried beside my father’s grove. I make it a habit to visit you and my father every day. I heaved a sigh as I’ve noticed that my life is full of bittersweet moments. From my father’s death to yours.

I brought with me red roses, like the ones you gave me.

You and my father were the persons I’ve ever loved. The thing is, the both of you left me alone. You left me longing for your love. I can’t imagine myself loving someone else. Like, if I ever see the word “Love” you are the first one who comes in my mind.

I took the jar filled with the petals of the rose you gave me. Yes, I preserved those. I reached for my bag and took a pen and a paper. Tears form in the corner of my eyes as I wrote “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

I kissed the paper and placed it on your grove.

From now on, I’ll try to learn the art of letting you go.