Doctor of Persuasion

ellipsis...

...the Doctor of Persuasion loathes perfection.

'If you can get your point across and live your life without being stopped by the occasional error,' he says behind his peach wood throne and shaded glasses tinted neon alabaster moon dust, 'then it is you who is flawed.' 

Flawed? What is flawed? Is it a clock off cue? Is it my lack of understanding or my mask of apathy? 

I leave the lecture and step outside into the cooling air, and light one.

Why, I ask and puff silently, why does there have to be uncontrollable factors such as flaws?

I walk with my face leveled to the horizon to the dorm room. The building is silhouetted before the setting sun. I slow my stride to offer my time to the only tolerable part of the day. The moon watches quietly in the bruised sky as the sun drowns in its own glory. I go into my room up the nineteen stair steps. The room is dark and empty. I toss the bag of books onto the floor and I fall into the couch stained with brew and bosh.

What the f**k is a flaw? She asked me once, not aware of the simple definition, unaware that She and I or Anybody else could be considered not good enough based solely on a simple flaw. But she, SHE was the Antonym of Flaw. She was ignorant of what perfection even was, or beauty, or GLASS eyes made of sawdust, impeccable, and toes like carrot roots. She was a sure thing,  a Girl of no judgment or discrimination. She flawed in her oblivious perception to her own perfection.

So I told her what a flaw was. Biggest f*****g mistake. 

[sic]

Into the fridge travels my weary hands and reveals after a mere reach into the frozen abyss a clouded bottle of BREW. I crack it open with my eyelid (F**K) and empty the contents into my table of contents (-- I am referring to my lack of holy bowels of steel and kidneys of concrete--)

On the television screams faces but I shut them off. On the couch is a cat I have never seen before and I go over to pick it up and put it in the hall hoping it will stray down the nineteen steps when it claws at my opened hands and paints three bleeding horizons across my palm. I scream at the damn thing and its ears bend backwards in fear and hisses in annoyance. It wings its paw at me and sprays a violent hiss. It gets me again but on the wrist and I give it one good punch in the head and it vomits an unholy scream. I grab the damn thing --I am a man, for Gods Sake -- and I carry its convulsing body to the window and throw it out. My hand and wrist burn and bleed and I pluck a black nail out of my soil skin and toss it onto the ground and go back to the fridge for another cold one and I get one, of course I do, and sit back on the scene of the crime and rest my head on a cactus feathered pillow and suck away at the bottle of BREW and think again of the Flawed World...

[so it goes the story stops here]

I told her what a flaw was, and she started to notice all of mine.

 One 

two

three

four

five.

Now I am the one who is flawed, who has been labeled. I am more aware of her awareness to my my flaws and she is aware of my awareness to hers. She casts her eye of question over me. I remain horribly, uncomfortably aware of my eternal status of ME

What does she want?

NOTHING.

Not you. It was never about you. It was always about

HER

and words will not get you over her when words is all but what you consume and s**t back out

Your body becomes comfortable in the soil. Saturating skin like osmosis leaves from 

oiled trees and a wind with a foul breath

when a diamond cracks 

that is when you will silence your 

greed

walk on, walk on like you are right now, walk like you always have

keep up the pattern and keep the tires burning

Break tradition. 

78564

[sic]

….

So then comes the sudden epiphany. It comes and continues and continues throughout the span of consciousness and dies only when memories burst.

Outside. The moon listens to me.

I walk into a cafe. I have a feeling, a tickle of a dream or a memory. I have been here before. I purchase the ginger ale in a can. Swallowing the ale outside in the salty breeze is sweet and serene as it dissolves into nothing inside my being.

In an alley I light a long red cigarette and I blow bloody clouds out of my face. A girl walks by, she has an unfamiliar face that I recognize. She stops and looks at me. I recognize her from my writing class and I smile and wave and continue to excrete pulmonary smoke.

“Hey” I spray the word, and smoke dissipates out of my orifice.

“Hello.”

Author's Note

Flaw

Reviews

[Laura Lynn]

I love your writing. I find myself in awe of it and unable to criticize it, but I wonder if it will be or you will need or want to have it published and where, maybe it's too good for publication!

[ZackOfBridge]

Well done Max
I like the moral of the story. One b***h dumps ya, and there is another right behind her. Also, the structure&style is fantastic, I have found myself doing similar things in my personal writing and I think it may become a trend with the new generation of writers, ya know? Like a resistance to traditional prose. Anyhow, good-greatness here, and its always a pleasure to see some Chaddy-von-swann on ze Caf

[Chadvonswan]

Thanks a lot Zack ma boy. Always appreciate your reviews bud...

[Jeannette Lunete]

I am amazed by your brilliant writing style. I deeply enjoyed the structure and tone. Well done. :)

[Chadvonswan]

thanks a lot babe, maybe Ill take glance at your words....................................!!! (:

[The Twin Arenas]

f**k dude. nice one. this, like, reads, y'know? in it the whole time.

i like those little tricks in there. l
i
k
e
those.
is there a term for that? or am I just an a*****e. anyway, I like the way you do that s**t and not beat us about the head and face about the fact you're doing. there's a lot of style in this thing, as well.
great story man.

[Chadvonswan]

Hahah Im really glad you dig this weird s**t. I try to be as surreal as I can. Im sick of writing what is considered normal .....Its all about doing your own thing you know? I appreciate the commentary [sic]
...Thanks for reading man!

[The Twin Arenas]

yeah, but's still gotta read. it does.

[The Twin Arenas]

i mean, it'd be good straight.

[The Twin Arenas]

yeah, man. I did. This stuff about flaws and everything. that's good, man. like, a really good idea. stickin' with me.

[Chadvonswan]

I appreciate the commentary man. I put a follow up story on here if youre interested

[The Twin Arenas]

oh yeah? Yeah, of course. I'll read it tonight.