Shards of Dreams

I took a picture of you once, when you were asleep

The contrast, color, and hues mellowed my heartbeat

My face smiles in a different reflection, a foreign mirror

Reflecting lies that glow with beautiful fear

I smiled at the mirror and it fell off of the wall

Unhooked and shattered

Who is the fairest of them all?

I took a shard of the broken glass

And slit myself a desperately needed tear

My blood surges through the both of us

Just like wine does through a plastic straw

I can feel the melodies fizz in my veins

Clotting with the precious expired oxygen

That sounded out your glorious lungs

I can finally breathe now that I am dead

Freely I float in a sea of wonder

And the only thing I have to fear

Is trusting another one of your mirrors

When your concave heart succumbed to its own beat

I felt my astral cord strum and break

And I float away

Up, up, up

And sat on a red cloud ignited by your sun

To watch your heart rain glass all over the soil

And the lakes overflow with your salty lust

Gills of fish clot and scab and heal and time peels away the old

Up here there are no unnecessary vowels to be heard

Only the warm symphonies that blow like kisses of steam

And the music that echoes out of your broken heart

Vibrates through the fog to find its way back to me

Fifty two thousand octaves up in the sky

I  smile like an infant when I feel your song

Nestle into the warm sand of my memories

Maybe we can walk along the shore

And collect the shards of our past

Maybe we can try again

Maybe we will fail

But maybe we don't give a damn either way

Its all the same dream tied together

With the endless strands of your hair

Blue with the Lunar frost

The thread of both our souls have become knotted

Together we swim in Tranquility

The water is cold but I have you here to blanket my concerns

And warm me with your solar eyes

Locked together in our void

The key has sunk to the bottom 

And settled in the blind sand

We are lost in each other

And then I notice that there are still

Pieces of glass stuck in your hair

And like a violent sneeze storming in my mind

I remember that none of this is real

But rather a thought confused with a memory

A black tear seeps out of your eye

And all at once the tide carries you away

And I am left with only the shards of our dreams

Author's Note

A product of my typewriter ( MY FINGERS )

Reviews

[Briana O'Connor]

Wow such darkness expressed eloquently. I was a little confused as to what the poem was actually talking about at certain points, but the vivid descriptions did peak my imagination enough to create my own story. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.

[Crusty Pizza Stain]

This one makes me want to punch a water buffalo right in the scrotum. Nice work

[Crusty Pizza Stain]

Also, your title of the poem almost says sharts of dreams

[Chadvonswan]

Hahah yeah thats what my sister thought it was called

[WritersRankings]

You clearly have a very nuanced poetic ear, definatley a poet to keep a watch on. Your lyrical quality would likely be more powerful if you tried poems with shorter lines? I do not know but most likely.

[Taylor_McCutcheon]

You have a unique way of writing and I really enjoy it :) your word choices are very good

[Chadvonswan]

HEY! Thanks alot (: I like it when people I dont know read my werid words.
thanks for scanning my prose lady (:

[Taylor_McCutcheon]

You're very welcome :)

[Nusquam Esse]

I am really digging the surreal feel you put into this poem; it reminds me of some of Neruda's work. I especially liked your final stanza, and the haunting feeling that hangs within it. My only advice here would be to trim out unnecessary and stale words, to help it flow tighter. ex. "Fall off of the wall", the sentence has the same meaning if you remove 'of'. and it carries the meaning more smoothly. Also watch for using 'and' and 'the' unnecessarily. When you just want to create an image, to craft a metaphor, you don't usually need these. Cutting them out will give the poem a more ethereal feel, which I think would work well here. Just go through and see if you can remove those transitional words without stripping away any meaning you intended. Great job on this one!

[Chadvonswan]

I very much appreciate the feedback....
I just looked up some of Nerudas work and I have to agree, it is very similar to my own poetry, melancholy and hopeless haha....
Thanks for reading, always enjoy your commentary