Chapter 9

In the shower I am really thinking about why soap operas are called soap operas, scrubbing my pits with soap and soap bubbles surrounding my torso, why the f**k are soap operas called soap operas? The water is really warm. What prompts a person to watch a soap opera. Grandma watched that s**t all the time in the eighties. Stupid s**t. Slick back my hair, you know the devils in there. You're solid gold, I'll see you in hell. Why doesn't taco bell sell grape soda? Quote end quote. Nothing ever f*****g works. Erika. The water drips from my hair. Checkbook. At the bottom of the shower, my feet are under water. There's an apparent clog in the drainer and the shower floor is gradually filling with soap tainted water. What the f**k. It's probably Andrea's goddam hair that's clogging it. She sheds like a f*****g dog and drains her uterus excrement all over the f*****g bathroom. I push in the knob and the water ceases and the condensation rises in warm dank clouds. I slide open the window and cool air breaths into me and I shout Congratulations You F**k-Tard! and the dogs start barking and I notice Sadie shaking something violently in the grass and realize its a little cat. A f*****g little orange kitty with its crimson interior being ripped apart and exposed to the outside world, something the insides of a cat is never supposed to see. Or any living thing by that matter. I mean, f**k a duck!

Dressing always seems to take a long time for me. I can never decide on a tie. And when I do decide on a tie I realize I should wear it with the red flannel, and then I change shirts and put the tie back on. I just recently learned how to tie a tie. I went on YouTube and watched some poor sap tangle a tie around his fat bulge of a neck. My school wants me to start dressing more formal; they think my wardrobe is unprofessional and according to some of my female c**t students, hipster. I honestly try to maintain a modern, young look, a hip appearance if you will. I don't even know what the f**k hipster is. I typed it in on Andrea's iPhone once, hoping for a positive definition, but I don't remember what it is so I guess it wasn't that important to me or maybe I was just high. Yeah, I probably was. 

The reason why I maintain an attractive, fashionably aesthetic appearance, is because of the students. Female students that is. Not in a sexual way, but at the same time that's exactly what it is for. When the students find you dress according to a specific modern style, the current generations style, and when they notice you pull it off they start to accept you and grow a attractiveness to you. Especially the girls. They are all so naive its easy to be one of them practically. And once you reach this state of high reputation, that is when you have all the control in your hands. 

There's one other teacher who has that control and that is Sarah Anderson,the health teacher. She knows her s**t and she has the easiest job at the school because of that. The students love her and I have to admit she just about made me fall in love with her. She has all of the style. She has all the looks, and intelligence and charisma. If I could indulge...

She is the person I want to be. She is the person I look up to and observe and try to imitate in a way. I try to copy her socializing methods. She is very convincing and in control all of the tine, yet she maintains this sexy charm that never seems to go away.

I pull up my pants with an erection and adjust it in a comfortable way, knowing that with the thought of Sarah Anderson in the tip of my head, this boner will be a lingerer.