At a loss for words

Just a glimpse at me…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lost

I’m at a loss for words

All those nouns and verbs

I see her there

Across the sea of humanity

Within a room that smells like time

Baked at 450

For thirty minutes

She smiles sunshine

Laughs like lyrics

To the best song

And to see her dance?

Oh, it’s like the world come alive

Like springtime swallowing winter

I love everything about her

Even when she’s angry

I see that fire in her eyes

And it ignites me

She’s my one dream

All my dreams in one basket

It seems

Can’t imagine being

With anyone else

Not another one like her

In all the world

What?

Would she be better off without me?

What kind of question is that?

Fumbling now

Tumbling recollections

Stumbling over my words

Maybe

I don’t like to think about it

Takes my breath away

No matter what though

No matter what anyone says

My heart is hers

It can’t be otherwise

If I know anything it’s that

But for now

I’m at a loss for words

Maybe just lost…

 

Author's Note

Not my best by far... just words I had to say.. every one of them true...

Reviews

[Onyx_Rayne]

First of all, I'll address your "note"... each piece I've read from you has been different - each and every one.. so I would definitely NOT say this isn't your best. All of your work is equally great and I, personally, enjoy every word.

Now, for the write. The flow of this piece is amazing... it brings forth relaxation twirling with emotions of love and adoration... also, a bit of mystery. You give away all of your feelings, but leave the reader wondering...holding back a bit of information, but not holding back one iota of emotion - It's absolutely beautiful.

I do have a favorite part that I feel I must point out because, it made me smile..haha

"Within a room that smells like time
Baked at 450
For thirty minutes
She smiles sunshine" -LOVE IT!

As always, it was a joy to read from you... perfectly penned :)

[Liza]

if this is not your best
i already love your worst :)
you're definitely not at a loss
you're on to something
and i enjoyed the way you expressed it

[Wildfleour]

Brother, you still are pining? I thought after all these months I'd come back and find you in a "different place". But, as always, great love poetry.

I see you "met" one of the best poets I know - Selene - and my friend Marianne- one of the nicest people, I suspect, on Earth.

[Sean M. Addams]

awesome piece your imagery in this one is amazing ... overall i thought this a very strong piece... great job. and I think all your writing is great and impressive ..always a pleasure to read your work..

[...]

. oh, i absolutely loved this ... there is so much beauty in your "lost" thoughts ... sometimes sentiments transcend words ... or maybe they do all the time ... but in this verse they surely do ... the submission that you speak of is pious and pure ... and it's just amazing when life overwhelms us ... those are the true miracles that one lives for ... and one is willing to die for ... a beautiful and mesmerizing write ... poignant and completely memorable ...

[the_stoic]

haha !! there you got it ! the doubt that always springs up . as you rightly said 'i don't like to think about it' cause the harsh fact is 'my heart is hers' but the same can't be said about her . unrequited love is painful and yet a true soul just doesn't have any other option - 'it can't be otherwise' . this was not exactly a poem but nonetheless the simple words of yours have brought out the feelings of a true lover whose love hasn't been reciprocated .. and so he indeed is ~ lost ~

[Stammers]

Not your best in your opinion, one of your best in mine.
Firstly, I love the way you've let the rhyme stud this throughout naturally, not dictate it,
I love the conversational tone and the anchored idea of 'loss for words' ending with 'or just lost?'

Beautiful. As for your description of the relationship, I love that you left a lot to decipher; it means that every time I read it, I come away with something more as I can expand and think about it. Really, I think I am creating my own meanings, but because they are so personal, which is why they are not transparent - I'm actually getting closer to the heart of what you intended to show me - maybe this isn't making a whole lot of sense!

‘Within a room that smells like time
Baked at 450
For thirty minutes
She smiles sunshine
Laughs like lyrics
To the best song’
Either way, I loved this, brave to approach it in this way, but it paid off.

[the in between]

i totally understand how you feel :) i pictured everything in pretty colors :D

my favorite part:

And to see her dance?
Oh, it’s like the world come alive
Like springtime swallowing winter
I love everything about her
Even when she’s angry
I see that fire in her eyes
And it ignites me

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

Within a room that smells like time
Baked at 450
For thirty minutes

that is SUCH an engaging image. i felt the heat, and smelled the overbaked scent of solitude left out to dry too long.. wonderful

[Marianne]

It is the first time I am reading you, and I am absolutely enchanted with your honesty, your authenticity....that's what excites me about this write....I'm a born romantic, love poetry straight from the heart !!
"Oh, it’s like the world come alive
Like springtime swallowing winter".....my favorite lines because they are all encompassing about the person you love so deeply in this poem.

"What?
Would she be better off without me?
What kind of question is that?" ...such a universal feeling of doubt, of feeling unworthy when we are blessed with someone we could only have dreamed of.

"I’m at a loss for words
Maybe just lost…"
...Oh, so beautiful a 'summary'...I love it !!