A Limerical Look in the Loo

A history in rhyme, of the place we all give some time… Please excuse my potty mouth... :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have ever a restroom you’ve seen?

A powder room, outhouse, latrine?

Whether dry toilet or wet

In the end they beget

Something ever so wonderfully keen.

 

In the third millennium BC

Called the “Age of Cleanliness” you see

Toilets and sewers invented

Though none were fresh scented

On brick and a wooden seat you’d wee.

 

Now the people of the Harappan

Who lived in what’s now Pakistan

Had water flush toilets

And perhaps warm baguettes

Twould be envied since the world began.

 

Skara Brae in Orkney had louses

But their toilets would drains under houses

Around 3100 BC

Much too early for me

Couples powdered their noses with spouses.

 

Move ahead bout a thousand years

Onto Crete, Egypt, and Persia with spears

Why they had em too

Would go pee and doo doo

Roman bath houses? They were pioneers!

 

So we’re up to John Harington’s bet

It’s 1596 and he’ll never forget

The flush toilet created

All that waste now abated

Now we plop and we don’t have to fret.

 

Twas originally called the toile

As those French people so loved to say

From a cloth on the shoulders

Caught hairs cut from all hers

You’ll find this bout 1703.

 

Whether riding a ginormous train

Or 20,000 feet up in a jet plane

Ferries or busses will do

Cushy heated seats too

To help waste products go down the drain.

 

Now salute with your bum, butt, or a*s

For the toilet’s a fine work of class

If you pee or you poo

It’s no matter to you

On the porcelain throne you shall pass.

 

So call it the khazi or loo

Or latrine, privy, netty will do

It all comes out in the end

Even from your best friend

So keep a toilet handy for you!

 

Author's Note

For those who think I have no sense of humor…If you only knew… MOO HAH HAH HAH!!! All information gathered from WIKI of course - The origin of the term loo is unknown, though possible it was derived from Waterloo. First recorded entry is from James Joyce’s Ulysses (1922): “O yes, mon loup. How much cost? Waterloo. Watercloset.” Terms for toilet or toilet room include CR or Comfort Room (Philippines), Dunny (Australian), Khazi (mostly used in Liverpool), Loo (primarily British), Netty (North East England), Privy (Scotland), Toilet (American), and WC or Water Closet (France, Germany, Norway)... :D

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I love potty humor....doesn't everyone? I, for one, was unaware of your light-hearted side, so I'm very happy to see this. It's educational, too! We had an outhouse when I was little, so nearly anything is an improvement over one of those. (I had nightmares about falling in) Thanks for the amusing romp through toilet history, Craig.

[Raja]

Wonderful! Full of info. Man I did not have so much info about our bathroom! You'd shown us how a simple subject could be made something special and a thing for interesting read.

Thank you.

Raja

[Sagela]

This is a very cute, yet factual poem. I love this like all your other poetry. Good job!

[Through the Gateway]

This was fun to read, Craig! Glad to see you in form. :)

Potty limericks...gotta love it. :)

[John Stussy]

Quite comical toilet humor my friend, perhaps more humorous ones are in call from you. show us your funny side man!

[Ferg]

LOL - funny and creative! the rest has been stated!

[Augustus]

Hilarious! Absolutely hilarious! And it is seriously refreshing to see this side of you! Can't stop laughing after reading this one! Need I mention more in a review?
:D

[Lord Da Crownsmeyer]

funny...not very decent though for a poet I mean...lol good luck though

[Sorry Infamous]

It was like a little silly history lesson. I could see this become a childrens poem; with some entertaining pitcture just like Shel Silverstein.

[Lilly]

Interesting, educational and a very funny read. I was in much need of a laugh – thank you :)