A Limerical Look in the Loo

A history in rhyme, of the place we all give some time… Please excuse my potty mouth... :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have ever a restroom you’ve seen?

A powder room, outhouse, latrine?

Whether dry toilet or wet

In the end they beget

Something ever so wonderfully keen.

 

In the third millennium BC

Called the “Age of Cleanliness” you see

Toilets and sewers invented

Though none were fresh scented

On brick and a wooden seat you’d wee.

 

Now the people of the Harappan

Who lived in what’s now Pakistan

Had water flush toilets

And perhaps warm baguettes

Twould be envied since the world began.

 

Skara Brae in Orkney had louses

But their toilets would drains under houses

Around 3100 BC

Much too early for me

Couples powdered their noses with spouses.

 

Move ahead bout a thousand years

Onto Crete, Egypt, and Persia with spears

Why they had em too

Would go pee and doo doo

Roman bath houses? They were pioneers!

 

So we’re up to John Harington’s bet

It’s 1596 and he’ll never forget

The flush toilet created

All that waste now abated

Now we plop and we don’t have to fret.

 

Twas originally called the toile

As those French people so loved to say

From a cloth on the shoulders

Caught hairs cut from all hers

You’ll find this bout 1703.

 

Whether riding a ginormous train

Or 20,000 feet up in a jet plane

Ferries or busses will do

Cushy heated seats too

To help waste products go down the drain.

 

Now salute with your bum, butt, or a*s

For the toilet’s a fine work of class

If you pee or you poo

It’s no matter to you

On the porcelain throne you shall pass.

 

So call it the khazi or loo

Or latrine, privy, netty will do

It all comes out in the end

Even from your best friend

So keep a toilet handy for you!

 

Author's Note

For those who think I have no sense of humor…If you only knew… MOO HAH HAH HAH!!! All information gathered from WIKI of course - The origin of the term loo is unknown, though possible it was derived from Waterloo. First recorded entry is from James Joyce’s Ulysses (1922): “O yes, mon loup. How much cost? Waterloo. Watercloset.” Terms for toilet or toilet room include CR or Comfort Room (Philippines), Dunny (Australian), Khazi (mostly used in Liverpool), Loo (primarily British), Netty (North East England), Privy (Scotland), Toilet (American), and WC or Water Closet (France, Germany, Norway)... :D

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I love potty humor....doesn't everyone? I, for one, was unaware of your light-hearted side, so I'm very happy to see this. It's educational, too! We had an outhouse when I was little, so nearly anything is an improvement over one of those. (I had nightmares about falling in) Thanks for the amusing romp through toilet history, Craig.

[The Analog Kid]

You should check the history of bathrooms on history channel. Thanks for the lesson:) The Romans were amazing. The chamber pot. The man always had to walk on the inside while with a woman on the street....this is because they used to dump the pots out the upper window on the street...lol! Nice light-hearted write!

[Dom Macchiaroli]

Thank you, sir, for that most thorough of educations. You missed one however, whatever it origins; the all-american 'shitter'

Great read brother.

[Ladysue]

I needed a good chuckle today...very well done... :)

[Jenny Nelson]

Very interesting, informative, and entertaining. An enjoyable read. Well done!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I must say that was one interesting history lesson... I know I have flushed a lot of history down that drain... your fun approach made it ease to read and therefore soak up the knowledge... I wonder if using soaking up is a good idea here.

[Seashell]

You certainly have done your homework by "looking" up the history page.
I'm glad I had a "peek" at your page even if I "pooled" a funny face after reading.
In fact I felt quite "flushed".

Great stuff
Nothing to beat a bit of humour to "poot" a smile on our faces .
Thanks

Babs xxx

[Alyssa]

Very enjoyable, great format and rhyme. I love your terms for the two ways we "relieve ourselves" And i just love all the facts you got in here too, it makes me more thankful for that little seat in my bathroom that I always take for granted... haha great poem and unique at its best.

[Tate Morgan]

Well I see you didnt lose your sense of humor and this took some thought .I say well done .
Tate