A Limerical Look in the Loo

A history in rhyme, of the place we all give some time… Please excuse my potty mouth... :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have ever a restroom you’ve seen?

A powder room, outhouse, latrine?

Whether dry toilet or wet

In the end they beget

Something ever so wonderfully keen.

 

In the third millennium BC

Called the “Age of Cleanliness” you see

Toilets and sewers invented

Though none were fresh scented

On brick and a wooden seat you’d wee.

 

Now the people of the Harappan

Who lived in what’s now Pakistan

Had water flush toilets

And perhaps warm baguettes

Twould be envied since the world began.

 

Skara Brae in Orkney had louses

But their toilets would drains under houses

Around 3100 BC

Much too early for me

Couples powdered their noses with spouses.

 

Move ahead bout a thousand years

Onto Crete, Egypt, and Persia with spears

Why they had em too

Would go pee and doo doo

Roman bath houses? They were pioneers!

 

So we’re up to John Harington’s bet

It’s 1596 and he’ll never forget

The flush toilet created

All that waste now abated

Now we plop and we don’t have to fret.

 

Twas originally called the toile

As those French people so loved to say

From a cloth on the shoulders

Caught hairs cut from all hers

You’ll find this bout 1703.

 

Whether riding a ginormous train

Or 20,000 feet up in a jet plane

Ferries or busses will do

Cushy heated seats too

To help waste products go down the drain.

 

Now salute with your bum, butt, or a*s

For the toilet’s a fine work of class

If you pee or you poo

It’s no matter to you

On the porcelain throne you shall pass.

 

So call it the khazi or loo

Or latrine, privy, netty will do

It all comes out in the end

Even from your best friend

So keep a toilet handy for you!

 

Author's Note

For those who think I have no sense of humor…If you only knew… MOO HAH HAH HAH!!! All information gathered from WIKI of course - The origin of the term loo is unknown, though possible it was derived from Waterloo. First recorded entry is from James Joyce’s Ulysses (1922): “O yes, mon loup. How much cost? Waterloo. Watercloset.” Terms for toilet or toilet room include CR or Comfort Room (Philippines), Dunny (Australian), Khazi (mostly used in Liverpool), Loo (primarily British), Netty (North East England), Privy (Scotland), Toilet (American), and WC or Water Closet (France, Germany, Norway)... :D

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I love potty humor....doesn't everyone? I, for one, was unaware of your light-hearted side, so I'm very happy to see this. It's educational, too! We had an outhouse when I was little, so nearly anything is an improvement over one of those. (I had nightmares about falling in) Thanks for the amusing romp through toilet history, Craig.

[Dushyant Thadani]

I bow down to you for writing this work. Your work gave me such a relieve to me for a while. I am so happy reading this poem. I completely made me miss my old toilet when I was a kid. It was so cool, and the best part, it was effortless and the humour wasn't forced in any possible way. Just love the beginning, but the part which caught my attention was from the line
Now salute your bum, butt or a*s
Just an amazing work combing humour, toilets and poetry. Great work. Just love it.

[Loner]

What a change from your previous writes !
a humorous change though !

[Sunni Davis]

I love this! Its got everything: A little humor, a bit of history and some potty mouth, hahaha! Well written!

[Geralyn Miller]

Hysterically funny, my sides ache from laughing
FYI: A man named John Crapper invented an early flush valve, which was called a "crapper", toliets with the valve came to becalled "crappers", so that's where the phrase "take a crap" came from. Sigh. I love word derivations. (Smile.)

This is hilarious, and anything BUT a 'piece of crap' (Pun intended). I loved this, and I'm glad I read it. Thanks for the laugh!

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

I enjoyed the this one..I got something educational as well as a good laugh...LOL..Enjoyed...Sunflower

[Ellen Hammond]

Delightful! I don't think I have seen this side of you before, Craig, and I quite like it. This is the funniest history lesson I read. Don't need to ask you WHERE you came up with the idea. LOL Thanks for the laugh.

[Onyx_Rayne]

O MY... okay so my cheeks are aching from smiling. haha.. This is definitely one of the more creative pieces I've come across here. If only more teachers would teach in Limericks...maybe the kids wouldn't lose interest as easily...I mean, I didn't even know I CARED about the "potty" or it's history, but I found myself hanging on every line.

Humorous, creative, educational and.. well a little "ick"... haha I can, honestly, say this is the ONLY piece, within, I've seen these particular elements combined.

Love it... so unique - I give it a 21 flush ( thank God for the flushes) salute :)

[Tina Kline]

This is very funny and entertaining. It sure made me chuckle!!!! It's educational too!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

HA HA HA HA HA, I can't stop laughing, HA HA HA HA HA HA