A Limerical Look in the Loo

A history in rhyme, of the place we all give some time… Please excuse my potty mouth... :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have ever a restroom you’ve seen?

A powder room, outhouse, latrine?

Whether dry toilet or wet

In the end they beget

Something ever so wonderfully keen.

 

In the third millennium BC

Called the “Age of Cleanliness” you see

Toilets and sewers invented

Though none were fresh scented

On brick and a wooden seat you’d wee.

 

Now the people of the Harappan

Who lived in what’s now Pakistan

Had water flush toilets

And perhaps warm baguettes

Twould be envied since the world began.

 

Skara Brae in Orkney had louses

But their toilets would drains under houses

Around 3100 BC

Much too early for me

Couples powdered their noses with spouses.

 

Move ahead bout a thousand years

Onto Crete, Egypt, and Persia with spears

Why they had em too

Would go pee and doo doo

Roman bath houses? They were pioneers!

 

So we’re up to John Harington’s bet

It’s 1596 and he’ll never forget

The flush toilet created

All that waste now abated

Now we plop and we don’t have to fret.

 

Twas originally called the toile

As those French people so loved to say

From a cloth on the shoulders

Caught hairs cut from all hers

You’ll find this bout 1703.

 

Whether riding a ginormous train

Or 20,000 feet up in a jet plane

Ferries or busses will do

Cushy heated seats too

To help waste products go down the drain.

 

Now salute with your bum, butt, or a*s

For the toilet’s a fine work of class

If you pee or you poo

It’s no matter to you

On the porcelain throne you shall pass.

 

So call it the khazi or loo

Or latrine, privy, netty will do

It all comes out in the end

Even from your best friend

So keep a toilet handy for you!

 

Author's Note

For those who think I have no sense of humor…If you only knew… MOO HAH HAH HAH!!! All information gathered from WIKI of course - The origin of the term loo is unknown, though possible it was derived from Waterloo. First recorded entry is from James Joyce’s Ulysses (1922): “O yes, mon loup. How much cost? Waterloo. Watercloset.” Terms for toilet or toilet room include CR or Comfort Room (Philippines), Dunny (Australian), Khazi (mostly used in Liverpool), Loo (primarily British), Netty (North East England), Privy (Scotland), Toilet (American), and WC or Water Closet (France, Germany, Norway)... :D

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I love potty humor....doesn't everyone? I, for one, was unaware of your light-hearted side, so I'm very happy to see this. It's educational, too! We had an outhouse when I was little, so nearly anything is an improvement over one of those. (I had nightmares about falling in) Thanks for the amusing romp through toilet history, Craig.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Smiling at the mention of Pakistan here. This is indeed funny and informative as well! Glad to see your humorous side, Craig! Although I always have known it existed ;)
Lovely to read this in my Saturday afternoon :))

[An owl on the moon]

Ah, now that is the magic, because I wrote this of Pakistan some 8 years ago, perhaps in anticipation of your rising star here. So glad you could enjoy this... it was so fun to research and write. Thank you for stopping, dear friend. :))

[Chris Shaw]

Clever and all in limerick format. So informative. Wondering where the expression bog, originated from? Another way to describe the toilet. I do like the humour in this write. You must have quite a lot of patience. This composition requires the sort of patience you need if you are constipated :))

Chris

[An owl on the moon]

Smiling! Thank you so much for reading, Christine, and for your wondrous comments too. Hope all goes well for you today. :)

[Chris Shaw]

Having a lovely day. Hope yours is good too:)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Lol, I've never read an ode to the toilet! Mighty fine potty mouth, my friend...mighty fine!

[An owl on the moon]

Haha! Glad you dropped by, dear Kelly! And why do you never hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent! :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Lol, you're too much! ; )

[dead man talking]

hehehe fucckin nice one Craig, extremely detailed ,my Bertie laughed alot as he read it to me

[Jupiter Jazz]

Haaaa!!!!!! That was funny!! A perfect mix of history and hilarity.

[Violeta]

This makes my day! It's hilarious and educational, your vocabulary is excellent, and I loved it! Awesome job! :)

[Vivek Koshy]

haha. nice!
..and yes educational too.

[cfix]

This is wonderful, so cute as well.
Very nicely written.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Oh this is great made me giggle it is so funny and a limerick it be - just wonderful .. funny!

Chloe

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Well hello Mr. Humor! Back when I was growing up I lived in a house with no in door toilet, crisco cans was my potty friend"LOL" Great poem as always my friend. Thank God for toilets we have today!