Only Olive Green Eyes...

A moment all my heart craves... Remix from the past...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     Out my frosted window a red beam pierces the clouds as quilted, gray blankets cover the earth.  She is there, on the shore, her figure wrapped in the wisping gray.

     My window shrieks as it opens, and the sharpness of sea and salt fill my mind.  The circling birds swim the currents of air and cry to one another, as the whispering sea foam drapes the sandy shore.

     My heart ceases as she glances at me.  For a moment, I cease.

     The sand colored wood claws at my feet as I move toward the sea, and toward her piercing gaze.

  

This morning I breathe iced air,  

And wander toward the waves.

For a moment I live without care;

a moment all my heart craves.    

 

    The earth turns to reveal her lily face.  There is no longer ocean, only olive green eyes…

Reviews

[Seren]

Wow, what magic! I love the sense of the universe dropping away in the face of the olive-eyed woman [literally!] I think this is something between a poem and a drabble/short story, and it has all the more richness n' strangeness for it. To me, it feels somehow more real than straight verse would.

The narrator's enthralled, so am I - well done! ^_^

[Taylor H.]

this is amazingly well written and beautiufl. Great job!

[We are young.]

Your descriptions of this were amazing! I love the image you draw out and store into my head. It's very pleasing. Great write n.n

[Stacey Watts]

Very beautiful and the words flowed well creating a beautiful image. Very nicely done.

[Frantzuu]

wow! that's a stunning piece of poetry painted with words, the descriptions creates a fantasy inside the reader's head, It's like you're there. Great poem. Breathtaking!

[Lilly]

wonderful piece- the description and imagery created is beautiful

[Millionth Muse]

A sublime piece indeed. I love the way that you capture all of the senses, from the wood beneath your feet to the salty sea air, and the visuals are gorgeous. I love the last line, particularly because of the idea of "olive green eyes" which are more haunting than bright and piercing, reminding me of a stormy sea. Nicely done indeed!!!

[Bette]

beautiful, well done!

[Jenny Nelson]

Wonderful! Leaves little to the imagination, except for what's to follow, as the description is really great.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I was entranced by this as your wording transported me right into the scene... romantically stunning.

[Ardeh]

This is absolutely wonderful. Something I may connect to! :)
The world seems like vast emptiness when you gaze upon beauty.
I loved the imagery.