I normally do not read things unless I am urged to read something whether it be through email or read request, but I finally gave into all of those small status updates about you having this as your featured poem. And it was well worth reading; thank you for sharing this poem with me, your reader. Though love poems do not come natural for me, you speak honest from your heart. I like the variation of fonts to separate stanzas, but I'd increase the second stanza by one more for people who may have trouble reading curly fonts. The theme is golden, one of the better love poems I've ever read as most people have really... crappy love poems.
To the poem: The poem starts out good with descriptive words: "fragrance of cinnamon bark," "Over your sway arcs." But as it compels forward, I sense a lack of flow mainly in the middle section of this poem, but you still pull this off with not only descriptiveness but also depth. Your depth is fathomable. You take the reader into the mind of the writer and back out with a clear understanding and a mouth desiring more. I love the illustration of you using the architecture and down on the third line of that stanza, show "make" in reference to architecture. Love is so sweet; but it can also be painful. I wish this could have been lengthened by maybe two stanzas to describe the "perfect us" you leave off of in the last stanza, probably because you ran out of the limited number of fonts on writerscafe.org, lol. Kudos. 9.8/10.
An interesting write, Craig. I love the disjointed way in which this was written. It lends itself to the random thoughts about another we catch ourselves in.
I'm looking for him...for the one who doesn't want to miss, for the one who wants to linger on. You make me long for the one who will one day say there's "No place I’d rather be" and tells me how "We make the perfect us."
You never fail to amaze me. This description and flow of the poem is just captivating. I think 'the architecture of you' is a very original line. I loved it. keep it up!
Reading a well written and well thought out poem is a little like opening a present. You settle in before the neatly wrapped box, and then you tear into it, and hopefully, are sastisfied with what's inside. This was beautiful, and completely satisfying. :)
I sooo loved this..Thanks for sharing "the giggles n wiggles, lips n hips, linger n finger" fun poem.
You have such a knack.....ie...whatever subject you write about....it's as though you most definately have experienced it all. Maybe you have and maybe you haven't.....doesn't matter.....you are a genious at making us believe so.
Dear Craig, all of your love poems I've read till date invariably strike a chord in my heart and I become deeply moved by the intensity, the passion and the pain with which you portray your intimate thoughts. Yes, I have no shame to admit I am maybe one of those 'crappy' poets of love poems who look for the emotion, the innocence and the lyricism that surrounds your love poems. As for adding words to the last part where you write: "The architecture of you/Your form and style construe/We make the perfect us..." I think from the bottom of my heart that you will mar the beauty and seamless perfection of these lines if you add lines to it that would tend to describe what 'perfect us' is. The three last lines form the crux and quintessential essence of your passion for the beauty of your beloved and for the beauty of your relationship, and is an ending in itself which doesn't need any more elaboration. As for the middle part, I loved the metaphor, the rhetoric and the emphasis on subtle images that reflect the intensity of your passion, which I was able to relate to, being incredibly passionate myself. If being moved to this extent is the mark of a crappy poet of love poems, so be it. I would happily continue to do it for a long time now.
Best,
Ru.
2024 is here... May we make it so much more heaven than hell... Wishing all peace on earth... Together, maybe we go the distance...
The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet t.. more..