Inside my SOUL...

An older piece revisited...

 

Pale and clouded, lying motionless;

winter’s fury, summer’s flame.

Faded faces, speaking shrilly,

wrestling, stalking in my mind.

Rising, weeping in a corner;

laughing, racing in a field.

Still and stable, screeching silence;

crawling age and creeping years.

I stand on winter’s crippling strand,

staring and shaking by the sight

of embering photos in a drawer,

bathed in memory’s dying dust.

And yet this moment I have peace,

for hope is seared inside my soul.

 

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

Now to sweep it and filter it all up wet it down to substance and meld it... Yes, thats advice I think.

"staring and shaking by the sight"... perhaps shaken?

Like it, good write.
it's disjointed, erratic and that I can relate to I can see things hurling through the air at speeds that would break your fingers if they hit the pen, thus you only hold up a small portion in motion (its less ouchie like that) ..

Hope is seared inside my soul.. As long as it still burns it prompts a fight of some sort.

[closed account]

very well written, I can feel the lonlyness
with such somber emotions, then an uplifting
feeling of peace and hope rose from me !! this was beautiful
thank you for sharing this with me!!

[Sean Allen]

Memories of embering photos in a drawer as time goes by.
I throughly savored the words of this touching poem.

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

What a beautiful writting, i loved how you let us into your soul , like it was a field , with dark corners and smiling ones , It was so tender and flow beautifully Thanks for sharing Yossi

[Wildfleour]

Sometimes all it takes is a moment for everything to fall into place.

[Gheeneil]

We walked, we ran, we stumbled, and we fell:
The good and bad times of years' ride;
Time takes us to place where we are now-
Yesterday's gone, today is a new beginning.

This piece made me do a quick inventory of my own life. I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing it.

[emmajoy]

Hope is the most wonderful remedy, isn't it!

This is a beautifully written poem, yet so very sad until that very last line when... the smile flickers out of the tears.

'Faded faces, speaking shrilly, / wrestling, stalking in my mind. ' Those lines are heart-breaking.

Thank you so very much for sharing.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Excellent and bittersweet... a vivid description of the toll life can pay on our hearts and soul but the beautiful end shows we can stand tall and survive with determination.

[Stephanie]

"I stand on winter's crippling strand,
staring and shaking by the sight
of embering photos in a drawer,
bathed in memory's dying dust."

Those are my favorite lines because they're super descriptive and really beautiful. I also love the picture that goes along with this- you have to stare at it for a while to get a true feeling about it because its so all over the place. Great piece :)

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh such beautiful sentiment.. such a vast array of emotions coming through this write.. it may be an older piece of yours but it is so very good.. ending with a moment of peace and a burning of hope!!!! Can never let those things die.. we all must reflect on past but then take what good you can of it even in worst scenarios and move forward with that undying hope! Such a great influence in metaphor can be found in this that I can sooo relate to.. thank you so much for sharing.. saving to favorites as that reminder that I do need once in a great while!!! =)

[SilentDream]

These lines are wonderfully descriptive:

embering photos in a drawer,
bathed in memory's dying dust.

It draws together those sepia moments.
Love the close too. So nicely done :)

~SilentDream