You asked once, can a dream take form? Have colors, texture, scent, taste, and sound? Have deep thoughts, sweet tears, and warm smiles? If I could design such a dream
As we have known I would give it the shape of flames paint it in shades of gold With a deep blue light beneath The texture of soft apricot skin in cold days and of raindrops in burning nights The scent of cherry blossoms, moist soil, and seaweed The taste of dark chocolate with sweet strawberries But the thoughts, the words would always be a surprise It would sing in a soul of its own That could never be dreamed or designed Yours that so perfectly fit mine You saw the big dragon this morning All flames, you said
Fierce, magnificent, and powerful Made of light in the middle of a burning sky
For the golden wild dragon
To swallow you whole
To become your earth
Your everlasting cocoon
In ripples of severed sinking stars
Translucent sighs of golden light
As is her voice there in the black veil
How it was the color of indigo dye
We are the same element
We are the same fate
One light
One fire...... So true are each of your words....When you love some one truly madly deeply....they become one light and one fire....in every way....as they are always destined to find each other..... I love the way you take us away to the mystery land of love ....Dragon and angels...... I love the fire you ignite with your words.... everything you create brings out the beauty of love.... i seem to be in love with this Dragon ;) always so ferocious and handsome ...
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your beautiful, encouraging words. It is a world of such mystery, but so often.. read moreThank you so much for your beautiful, encouraging words. It is a world of such mystery, but so often we cling to what we know, the surface of things. I do so desire to find the courage and strength to dive deeper into these places of the soul. May you find this deeper world opening doors for you, dear poet.
Such a visual poem. Such exquisite use of metaphors. Such lovely way to paint words. Yet the emotions portrayed take first place ^^. I really loved it.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you dear friend. It is a joy to have you come by and read of my journey.
I love dragons and all stories have power and magic! This story more fully expressing said attributes than one could hope to read. Very powerful magic is created in this poetry.
I have never felt the need to give you any advice as you are gifted. However, a better writer than myself advised me to avoid the word "that" when possible.
You use "that" in three lines bunched closely. I think it could be stronger by wording the lines to eliminate the word.
I will illustrate, and you can take it or leave it.
Consider trying, "Beyond dreaming or design", rather than, "That could never be dreamed or designed".
Also, "Yours so perfectly fitting mine", or even "Yours so perfectly fit to mine", rather than, "Yours that so perfectly fit mine".
Finally, "A gold mirage of light and fire", or "Gold illusion formed of light and fire" rather than, "Gold that isn't gold..."
Anyhow, I love the poem. I hope this is helpful and does not feel like nitpicking. I wouldn't waste the time if I didn't believe it would help and the poem was with the effort.
You are truly talented Craig.
Be well.
David.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
So deeply appreciate your thoughts, David. Thank you for your comments and your insights. Am so glad.. read moreSo deeply appreciate your thoughts, David. Thank you for your comments and your insights. Am so glad for your wonderful advice and more. Have a blessed, inspired day!
Wow! truly love the passion in this. So many beautiful metaphor's that bring this dragon to life. The representation of that fire and the dream. Very wonderful and touching.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I do so appreciate your thoughts, seeing that you could feel the reality behind the metaphors.
I was particularly smitten with the textures and the colors that you used. I thought the angel standing in front of a dark door to be a fabulous metaphor for sacrifice. There are those things so beautiful to behold that they may only last a short time and then they become our memories. This was sensual, inviting and thought-provoking. I truly enjoyed it.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I so deeply appreciate your kind and moving remarks, icelandicblue. May such beauty always find you... read moreI so deeply appreciate your kind and moving remarks, icelandicblue. May such beauty always find you. :)
Thank you so much for taking me through this wild journey. If everything was taken in a literal sense, it still felt like a dreamworld and I was in it for some reason. Metaphorically though I felt I was reading a conversation between two people and it felt deep. It was just beautiful.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
My friend, how good to see you here! Yes, there is a mingling here of life and life's metaphors, and.. read moreMy friend, how good to see you here! Yes, there is a mingling here of life and life's metaphors, and you saw well the conversation between my and my muse. May this week carry you through rivers of inspiration.
2024 is here... May we make it so much more heaven than hell... Wishing all peace on earth... Together, maybe we go the distance...
The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet t.. more..