Empty Soul

Originally a song I wrote way back Feb 10, 2008, changed a couple things so I could share. It was written about a specific moment in my life where things weren't good.

 

Nothing's ever perfect
Nothing's ever fair
I look into these eyes
And see this blank stare

Frayed since my creation
Abandoned from the start
My mother never loved my dad
And it breaks my f*****g heart!

Made to disappoint
Destined to fail
Created for your laughter
Only I could never tell

I am so pathetic
It’s so sad to see
I am just a worthless liar
but that’s what you made of me

That’s why you did it
That’s why you left me empty
Torn between my family
And it’s not sad for you to see

Why me? Why me?
What did I do to deserve this empty destiny?
Why me? Why me?
Take my empty soul and leave me free to be

You gave me life
But left me in this empty hole
So take my life
And my empty soul

 

Author's Note

Please share your thoughts :)

Reviews

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Wow....I'd share a song to answer this, but it's not on English, and i couldn't translate yet. . so ....

i can relate to this, all too well. (except for being a liar.)

but, take a quick note, we're all here for you :)
you're not worthless.
:)
you're one of a kind. no one could even think about asking for a better friend :)

i loved the write
full rating

[Dani The Unreviewed]

www.writerscafe.org/writing/Danny15/1700613/ play tha song while reading :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

And you're welcome.

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome song to read to by the way! Almost couldn't even read your review I have my guitar on my couch next to me I wanted to start playing haha... I appreciate your feedback buddy :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

hehehe : )

[Brittany Bostic]

This one is very in depth because it travels through different journeys. The feelings swing from honest to angry to broken to grateful.

[AaronFreitas]

Yes it does... thanks for your review Brittany :)

[Southern_Writes]

Wow, this is so sad and heart wrenching. Very beautiful, but very sad.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Kansas :) Seems like almost all my work is dark haha even when I have written pieces like Last Dance it turned into a sad write by the end unintentionally. Glad you liked it and I appreciate your review :)

[Southern_Writes]

[AaronFreitas]

Your comment is blank

[Southern_Writes]

Because WC hates me.

[AaronFreitas]

haha I don't think it hates you.... you're too awesome for that :)

[Nyu]

I think you could add a bit more so that the reader can fully understand the emptiness, for me i didn't understand how your mother not loving your father placed such a curse of an empty destiny on you. Its well written though, I'm just very critical when it comes to poems of pain. But it is a beautiful thing always to turn pain into a wonderful work of art.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you JellyCat :) Makes sense... I feel like I could talk for days about that stuff haha so it ends up being a snippet. It's way back from 08 and was written as a song hence the shortness of the story behind it. Maybe I will develop some of this background some more :) Thanks for your review :)

[Chirag Kumar]

A very intense piece, Aaron. I pray that may you life be filled with positivity and prosperity. :) Well written, brother. :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Chirag. I can't complain too much... even though I write a lot of dark stuff I am blessed to have the life I have :) Appreciate your review :)

[Perkele.7885]

Aaron, I imagine that you must have changed this, to clean it up for publishing here????? It is a very good piece, dark, as most of your material tends to be, as is your forte'. I came from damaged roots as well and can recognize the frayed edges that we carry into adulthood.
Writing is a catharsis for what you and I and so many others share! Keep the faith, POET!

[AaronFreitas]

Yeah I cleaned it up for publishing here. It was written completely in song format with the extra chorus, bridge and all that. It's kind of neat to look back and see where I was mentally at that time and to re-open those thoughts. I have a lot of them some I just wonder where the inspiration came from but not sure I'll share some. Some are a little out there haha. I always appreciate your feedback. I haven't been writing much so I look through my old stuff for inspiration.

[zunie frost]

wow !!!! so emotional and a deep heartfelt poetry !!!!
love these lines
You gave me life
But left me in this empty hole
So take my life
And my empty soul
ending is just perfect !!!!
100% ratings

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Zunie :) It's an old write but it's neat to look back and see what I was thinking at that time. Thanks for your review and rating :)

[zunie frost]

was my pleasure !!!!!

[Kelly Scheppers]

I'm so sorry for the pain you endured, Aaron. May it all melt away within your little girl's eyes!

[AaronFreitas]

I make sure my girls never have to experience any of that pain. We can't be perfect but I try my best :) Thanks for your review :)

[MissLaine]

AWW :( painful and heartbreaking. I love the flow of this as well..
Its very well done! :)
-HUG-

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks MissLaine :) I will take that Hug haha Appreciate your review my friend :)

[MissLaine]

:) No problem! haha :)

[TheOne&Only]

I loved the flow Aaron, though it was a lovely write, I can tell/see how far you have come and grown, since 2008. However, the feel behind the lines written was evidently felt..like Pureness in its potent. Thanks for sharing!!

As always,
Theone&Only

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much my friend :) It took me a while to respond I was stuck staring at your pic on there lol... I've always written from the heart and about things I'm passionate about. Some of my work I look back on and I can see where I've grown then some of it I'm like wow I don't even know where my mind was to write that haha... I'm a little scared to share some of those :)

[Larq]

I feel the emotional release in these words...so raw and powerful. Although this pain is a part of your fabric, I pray you have healed and can look at it now through empowered eyes, and a strengthened heart.
Thank you for sharing something so personal...

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you larq for taking time to read and comment :) It's been so long since I've seen you on here... brought a smile out when I saw your picture on this review :) Thank you!

[Larq]

Awwww, thank you! Good to visit here again...good for the soul. It's my pleasure to read your work.

[AaronFreitas]

Hope to see you on here more :)