Last Dance

Hope you like it

I’ve waited patiently all night,

Sedentary, admiring your beauty.

You’ve danced the night away…

But this last dance I saved for you.

 

Take my hand and just trust,

Trust and believe in this moment. 

My heart is empty - but truthfully,

That means I have more love to give.

 

A quick glance into your eyes…

Proof that true beauty still exists.

The touch of your sleek soft skin…

Too amazing for me to resist. 

 

I’ve been waiting for a woman like you,

To take my hand and fill my heart with love.

In this moment our souls align perfectly…

As if you’re an angel sent from above.

 

Our song ends and the warmth of your

Tender lips releases from my lips…

I watch as you gently walk away,

Glancing back… hoping I ask you to stay.

 

But I lingered quietly and watched my dreams fade,

A pure love is not destined for me.

I pushed away an angel packed with love,

And chose to stay heartbroken even in a dream.

Author's Note

Please comment :)

Reviews

[Aries1984]

One of my favorite Russian poets is Alexander Pushkin. Him being put into a Lyceum school turned him into a hopeless romantic. Although he certainly has his share of romantic poetry, and poetic fairy-tales (folktales, whatever you want to call them) I also admire his writing because of the fact that he really played around with rhythmic styles. Once you read one of his poems, it starts to flow in one way, and then the rhyming changes making it flow in a different way all of a sudden. This is what you have done here. And that is what makes the piece a lot of fun for me to read. I'm sorry it took me so long to finally read and review this piece. I'm only now getting close to reading through all of my read requests.

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks for the compliment my friend :) I like to play with the stuff I write.... like to write the way it feels right to me and the flow that I'm saying it with. I'm glad you connect with my work and understand what I do... maybe better than I know what and why I do it sometimes :)

[Tks]

A great read, Aaron. I especially like the imagery painted here, with the feeling of love palpable in the air..lovely. What struck me most was your ending..and how it is so real, it could frighten us..keep them coming, Aaron!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Tks :) Glad you enjoyed it

[HippieSoulPunx]

From the tone of the poem, and a few lines, I felt like there'd be a twist where the guy is a vampire or something, and he's found his next victim, and his love is what would make him decide to inflict the same fate on her. So I was really surprised when I got to the ending, that there wasn't a 'monster' kind of twist, but then felt that sadness as this person chooses to let potential happiness walk away and remain bound to his loneliness. So much emotion, really beautiful piece of writing.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much. It really was set up and could go anyway with a twist... it makes sense that you would see that coming. Appreciate your review buddy :)

[modtoddinc]

Such tragedy. This is very well done. As I am reading; feeling the love, I became totally absorbed in the direction I assumed we were heading, and BAM! Unexpected outcome revealed. Great job! The balance is spot on. The flow is nice and disrupted masterfully at the crucial point. I enjoyed this poem very much.

Peace, Todd

[AaronFreitas]

Haha I am glad I caught you off guard. When I wrote it I didn't have the intentions of it turning but I was just kind of lost in the thoughts and that's how it ended up. Appreciate your review :)

[Insight "MH"]

Sometimes there will be an opportunity, only one for the grab, and it is sad how we miss that chance when it comes. Beautiful piece, and thank you for sharing.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you for your review. Someday she will be there for the taking :)

[SheIsMe]

A pure love is destined for anyone with a heart, and from everything I read, you most definitely have one. Let HER come to YOU. So well written, Aaron.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much :) I am patiently waiting although it would be sooooo nice if she would hurry up lol :)

[SheIsMe]

Patience, dannyson. Patience.

[erinwrites]

At the beginning I was thinking to myself, "I would swoon over any guy that think like this!" But then it got sad and broke my heart! Very well written, though! Really loved it

[AaronFreitas]

Aww so if I reached out with my hand for a dance you would turn me down now? haha :)

[Brittany Bostic]

Interesting because it was not what I was expecting from the title but I liked the acceptance at the end. I love the descriptions.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you... glad you still liked it even though it wasn't what you were expecting. I appreciate your feedback and also thanks for the friend request :) Send me some of your work sometime :)

[Fate]

I like this..

Take my hand and just trust,
Trust and believe in this moment.
My heart is empty - but truthfully,
That means I have more love to give.



perfectly beautiful:)



but then its a sad one..but i like it..

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Fate :) I tried to bring out the romantic side yet keep the dark side that I typically write in. I am glad you liked it :)

[Fate]

you're welcome sir :)

[JayceeC]

Such a sad ending to a poem that made me smile in the beginning. A dream! You made it a dream! You just busted my bubble! I was hoping you had found this angel, and that happy times were going to be the norm for your future.
Great structure for this write Aaron. I like the flow and the way that you choose to rhyme of not based on what the feel is, not forcing word choices. Overall well written and a dance worth dancing, despite the dream.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Jan. Sorry to bust your bubble haha... I was so happy to see your name pop up on here it brought out a big smile :) Thanks for your awesome review and feedback. I hope all is well with you :)

[JayceeC]

Still around and writing a bit. Rarely sending read requests though. Haven't had a lot of time tho return them. Went from Otto's last knee surgery, to the craziest school year of my career.

[AaronFreitas]

Understandable. I've been in and out when I can but just not as active. Hope his surgery went good :)

[Bluefire]

Loneliness and disbelief. Did any of it really happen or was it just a figment of imagery, flowing beautifully through the night.
Well done, truly enchanting!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Bluefire :) I am waiting for this to come true :)

[Bluefire]

Aw, good luck, I'm sure it may happen