Without you

Watching one of my fav shows... wrote some stuff for fun

This is probably a little past due,

but as I keep waiting for time

to heal these wounds… I only find

myself still missing you.

 

I know I was so far from perfect,

No matter how hard I tried…

I could never find happiness... yet it

kills when I see tears in your eyes.

 

I never wanted to hurt you,

Only a chance to love you.

But the harder I tried the 

farther away I pushed you.

 

Maybe I was never good enough.

 

So I found ways to cope and to

be happy momentarily… never

realizing the path of destruction

and heartbreak I would leave behind.

 

Maybe the world will be a better

place without me… I’ll never know.

What I do know is that I’ll never

be a better “me” without you.

Reviews

[modtoddinc]

Poignant piece. The pain and loss of relationship; something every human being experiences. Here you have captured its essence. The pleasure and pain, the truth and blame, elegantly written and evenly delivered. A wonderful poem from an excellent poet. Thank you for rr, and sharing your art.

Peace, Todd

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Todd... sorry for the late response haven't been on much buddy.

[Pryde Foltz]

Some fine penning. I particularly liked your used of enjambment to syncopate the rhythm.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you... that isn't something I have done a whole lot of in my writes but for some reason it just worked out better than me working on formatting to anything specific. Appreciate your review :)

[Robert]

Aaron this is a very heart telling poem. You have expressed true feeling and emotions through your words and the reader takes from this piece a sense of sadness but hope as well because there has to be another out there that will bring the best out of you again.

[AaronFreitas]

I sure hope so... I am getting close to being ready :) With time I suppose... thanks for your review buddy :)

[....................]

this is how it is in many cases, Aaron... you always pen poetry that is relatable and from the heart...it is always honest and sincere... great job, my friend!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much FT :) I'm hoping this one kick starts me and gets me writing a little more :)

[....................]

I hope so too, my friend... it's good to see you back to the page :D

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you FT... I'm hoping I can be back on some more :)

[Bear]

It seems the best friends always seem to make us a feel like better person, maybe that is a good way of determining how good a friend is (acquaintance, friend, good friend, best friend, lover) I love when I read something that makes me think and this poem has done that, now I have to write something using that friendship list :~)
Question, am I reading this sentence right "Away you I pushed you" ?

[AaronFreitas]

That line had a typo... an extra you... thanks for pointing that out :) I love writes that make me think too... regardless of the thought it sparks just to create something I wasn't already thinking. Glad I could do that for you buddy :)

[Aatharva Banaitkar]

this a great work of art , your feelings are following through the poem and very nice work.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much buddy... appreciate your kind words :)

[Perkele.7885]

Aaron, this last stanza gave me pause; (Maybe the world will be a better place without me… I’ll never know.)
This sounded to me, right then and there, that the character writer was leaving us a note via his poem.
The next two lines were more reasonable; (What I do know is that I’ll never be a better “me” without you.)

This is a great offering my friend. Your character writer sounds like he is writing his final note as a poem from where I am sitting!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you for the kind words buddy :) I'm glad you caught that moment with this character... appreciate your reviews always :)

[micky]

Wow beautiful piece buddy.....great story in this piece ....:)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much micky :) How you been stranger! Hope all is well :)

[micky]

All is good Aaron been caught up for a while but now I'm back. .. hope u good :)

[AaronFreitas]

Yay! I am the same haha... don't be a stranger :)

[Amber Lily]

Aww... this piece is truly heart breaking, I can feel the sorrow and conflict going through your mind. They are all you want, but you fear you are not good enough. There's always room to improve yourself though, and then maybe you feel you will be :) A great write.

[AaronFreitas]

I will my friend... growth is important :) It's just trying to move from one phase of life to the next and finding out how to grow and make it better :) Thanks for your review Amber :)

[Sultrysoul]

This is so relatable. I love how you brought these emotions to life. I love it.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Sultrysoul :) I try to keep it honest and full of emotion... glad you enjoyed it :)

[Sultrysoul]

You are very welcome and you stick true to honest emotions

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you I will... thats what I do best :)

[Sultrysoul]

....... :)

[Cat]

I like how relatable the piece is. Well written.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Cat :) Appreciate your kind words :)