What a day

No structure no format no organization... just a rough day as I looked back through pictures and saw myself at so many phases in life.

What a day as I sit and reflect 

On pictures from the past

Moments in time loaded

With happiness and smiles

If life could have only been that good forever

But forever is just an illusion

And everything eventually crumbles apart

At least that is the way my life has been

Everything I have ever loved has

Either let me down or has broken into 

Millions of pieces and all I am left with 

Are pictures to remind me of how happy

I was once upon a time. 

If life could have only been that good forever. 

Tears fall from my eyes just seeing my smile

In some of these pictures, a time when the future

Of life only seemed bright and loaded with promise.  

I guess a picture of myself today would reflect 

A vision of lost hope, fear and worry… 

Still battling daily to find who I am….

What does the future hold now?

What is the picture of tomorrow going to look like?

Author's Note

One of those days... put a few pics to show what I am looking at... everything from childhood pics to last week.

Reviews

[ExquisiteEyes]

I think the poems that have no structure can convey the emotions in raw form. In this poem, as you have said, it reflects how chaotic your mind was.
I have also gone through days when I felt like tearing up at every small happy memory that croosed my mind because I could not experience those emotions anymore. Even now, I struggle to find out I actually am and who I want to be.
'But forever is just an illusion' - these words made quite an impact on me. So few words to convey an idea this big.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you ExquisiteEyes :) I didn't even send out RR's for this one I just wrote what I felt and just kind of left it. I'm glad you liked it :)

[sakshi arora]

I really like the thought of nostalgia engaging write but I guess the lines at least my life..... N the next two lines cud b more emotional. Nice work

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Sakshi :)

[MsJewel]

It can be good to look back and reflect on happier times...cherished memories kept close to the heart can make even the darkest days just a bit brighter. I like the bit of hope at the end - questioning what tomorrow will bring. There is always a tomorrow. I hope yours is filled with sunshine and smiles my sweet friend. Your poem is honest and heartfelt.

Julie

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Julie :) Tomorrow is always such a big question mark and for me it makes it kind of an awww moment when I look back at pictures and think of all those happy times :)

[Gabriel's Last Breath (..]

man thats deep dude. spoken from the soul

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much... I try to dig deep and find those feelings to write about :)

[.]

~~ dealing with any kind of grief is not easy... we get better at coping with whatever we've got with time... ~~ for instance, a lot of us spend time on this site to express how we feel and to share our thoughts... ~~ until about a few years ago, this site didn't exist... ~~ i'm glad it exists... and i was able to read your heartfelt poem...

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you serah... I'm surprised to get this good feedback from everyone... I really didn't like it and didn't put the effort into so I sent out no read request didn't set as my main poem and it's been found and I am glad enjoyed by people :) Thank you very much :)

[.]

~~ i think most of us are able to relate to your poem... and... you're very welcome, monsieur... :)

[Debra White]

Hey Aaron,
We all have days when we think back and remember both the good and the bad stuff that happened in our life. All that stuff moulded us into what we are now... but look at that smile - it's still there, I'm sure it'll still be there tomorrow too. Just keep striving for what you want out of life... it'll come :)
Nice introspective poem - I enjoyed the read.
Debra
ps. Nice 'T' ;p lol

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Debra and appreciate the compliment :) Even though I write mostly dark I always smile, laugh and have fun. Just when I sit and focus on my thoughts they come out a lot worse than it actually is haha... Thanks for your review and you are the first to mention the 'T' lol... that pic was put in there on purpose ;) You earn bonus points for noticing haha

[Debra White]

Go me!! I have an eye for detail! Keep smiling, it suits you :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you ;)

[B]

I once read this psychology article
Apparently human beings over glorify the past and over think of the future
Most religions and spiritual practices try to focus the human mind in the here and now
To be in a state of mind thankful of the precise moment we live in

I know how you feel ............ i have a drawer of pictures
and a mind packed with tomorrows

but today as i was walking
i felt the here and now
and i smiled

that made all the difference

Love the poem Aaron
You really write with such sentiment
it is beautiful

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Nisreenaa... I usually don't dwell in the past blame Google photos for this one haha... they announced they will store all your photos for free so I started uploading and I had pics I had completely forgot about... my daughters birth... when I sang in a band... Hawaii vacations and just so many good memories. :)

[B]

And so many to come
And so many beautiful ones right now
Your beautiful words being appreciated by a friend
Life is beautiful

[sereenaoutloud]

Oh wow Aaron...you made me cry reading this..it was so raw and heartfelt..you could feel the pain and hurt! your fear of what the future will hold!
>hugs< my friend!
Brilliant write though! :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Sereena :) I didn't put much thought just kind of said what I had to say and get it out. There were so many good memories in my pictures and so I just had to write since I was feeling a little down about it missing some of the things I had. I didn't like it so I didn't even send our read requests or anything haha... I am glad you liked it :) I added the pic of me and my sister and then me grown up with my little cousin just to give some insight to what I was looking at :)

[sereenaoutloud]

I can only imagine how hard it is Aaron. I always get completely lost when looking back at photos and the memories but to look back at those after a divorce has to be so gut wrenching. But please know that I was a beautiful first chapter of your life and the second one is now waiting!! the book hasn't ended just a few character changes!! :)

[sereenaoutloud]

Oh an you should have RR this to everyone ..it is a brilliant write!! :)

[AaronFreitas]

Aww thanks you are so nice... you're a true friend :)

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Who are you? You are a rockstar. I love your writings, you know that and this was a yet another raw and reflective piece from you. Waiting for more :D

[AaronFreitas]

haha I wish I was a rockstar! lol appreciate your review buddy!

[SyberRose]

Life is full of changes...nice pictures too and you will have many nice pictures to look forward to in the future too...a long life ahead of you...Rose

[AaronFreitas]

Very true Rose :) Many more memories to still create :)

[GreenEyedPoet]

Sad write Aaron. :/
I'm sorry things are going well for ya lately. But hold on to hope, things WILL get better, maybe not today, tomorrow or even next week but they will. Things can't stay bad forever! So keep your head up.

[AaronFreitas]

They will get better :) I look forward to it!

[GreenEyedPoet]

Good! ... :]