Padded Walls

Something different... no not about me :)

Wrap me up... strap me up

Throw away the key

Locked in a room, I lay to spoon

With a shadow of me

      Shut them up!!!

      Tell them to stop!!!

      These voices wont cease!

Rocking on the floor, feeling like a w***e

Thoughts unwind

Bite my tongue, just for fun

Where is my mind?

Pad these walls… ignore the calls

I must be crazy

Hear the cries… my soul lies

Visions hazy

       “Just do it

       kill yourself

       do the world a favor”

I cannot lie… the voice inside

Says take my life

So I jump to fly

I fall and cry

But cannot die

So wrap me up, strap me up

Throw away the key

It’s obvious this padded room

Is the end of me,

 

 

Author's Note

Read and review please :)

Reviews

[Maja]

Woah this one's actually pretty scary but I enjoyed reading it :D I especially love the third, fourth, and the last two lines, because it gave the feeling that there's no escape not just from the padded room, but from the condition itself. Great poem and I'm glad I read it :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Maja :) I am glad you liked it. I tried to do something a little different with this write and I am glad you as a reader enjoyed :) Thank you

[Daisy]

wow..... such emotions... are real and so frightened... great poem and words....

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Daisy... had to get a little creative and crazy with this one :)

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

This is a fascinating and intriguing write....being a former social worker and seeing people in padded rooms....it struck a chord! Your creativity astounds!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Jane :) Appreciate your feedback. I tried to make it as real as I could as most people haven't seen someone in a padded room so trying to get them to understand the kind of craziness associated with was the challenge :) Glad you enjoyed it

[Mara]

Wow! I love the rhyming and flow of this write
You're an amazing poet!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Tee :) I haven't wrote anything since this one lol it ate up my creativity :)

[Sophia]

I like really like the rhyme scheme here, it matches what is happening in the poem perfectly, good one.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Sophia :) I tried to match the style with the tone of the write so I am glad you got the connection :) Thanks for your review

[Bear]

Bravo! The only thing you left out was the banging your head on the wall, oops forget I said that, I know nothing, nothing! Many years ago as part of my studies I worked in a facility and from looking in the eyes of its patients you have an apt description of what appeared to be going on in their minds, cool write.

[AaronFreitas]

haha yeah didn't mention that but it is true :) I got to work in a jail and observe some of this behavior and it's something that's impossible to explain unless you have witnessed it and seen it with your own eyes. Glad you understood it :)

[A Lonely Girl]

I can see why you have so many views. This piece is emotional, it makes you think, yet it is in such a catchy song-like rhythm that I couldn't help but to read it as though it was one. Well done, my friend! :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much :) For some reason I like rhyming and when I write I think that way... I don't sit and try to come up with rhymes... I used to write a lot of songs when I sang in a local rock band for a little while so it became more of a style I guess. But yeah this one came out erratic and a little crazy but I liked the flow of it :) Glad you liked it :)

[A Lonely Girl]

You are very welcome :)

[W R Stowe]

Yes you got it a sermon! Suicide is never the answer we must restore faith and confidence in God and oneself and show they have worth as a human being as a friend neighbor and a lost sheep Jesus is seeking for and calling their name.We as a society should hear their cries for help before its to late.But we have become a self absorbing society and selfish God help us all.Life is precious and needs to be embraced and be grateful for what we have

BILL

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Bill :)

[W R Stowe]

You're very welcome Aaron

Bill

[DoormanDan]

This reminded me so much of My Chemical Romance, what with all of the craziness that takes place in this poem. I really like this, it has a legitimately dark, atmosphere, and really does seem like something that a psychotic person would write. There were quite a few golden lines in this that really made the idea of this being written by somebody insane all the more believable. First off, the line;

Locked in a room, I lay to spoon

With a shadow of me

I'm going to give you major points for that line, because that's just a generally creepy thing to say, and really makes itself at home in this poem. The next line;

Bite my tongue, just for fun

Where is my mind?

This line really manages to keep the momentum going. I can tell that you put a good deal of thought into this piece by how well thought out and somewhat clever these lines are. I really do think you couldn't have written this any better than you have. Fantastic, that's all I have to say! :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much buddy for the awesome review! I tried to make it as erratic and crazy as how I imagine it feeling being in a padded room. I am glad you liked it!

[jeannemarie coulter]

very powerful word tapestry...i do not believe that locking one up or strapping them down is a good solution but sometimes the break it affords us is needed...my heart goes out to you in hope your world begins to glow with laughter and love soon...

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you my friend. It is definitely hard to see someone in that situation... not fun and it's almost as if we lock them away until it goes away... and when it doesn't that padded room becomes the new normal :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

you are welcome...jc