Sink or Swim

Every once in a while I just write in no particular format, don't edit hardly anything and post it. Just raw thoughts. These came as I was sitting on my porch thinking all alone.

If I could capture this moment... this time of my life, it would probably look something like a statue of a broken man... blunt in hand and a beer in the other staring up at passing clouds that turn to a clear night and stars wondering where do I go from here? How do I move forward with life? Right now I'm slowly deteriorating like decaying wax in a candle jar and my life is melting before my eyes. I've got to get up and do something with myself instead of wondering how to categorize these thoughts of mine. Even the small ant that slowly crawls up my leg as I write this is chasing a bigger dream than I.... the ant thinks about reaching the top as I observe and wallow in self-pity and wonder what could have been. Well.... what can become? It’s time to get up and grasp a dream and start chasing with a full head of steam. I just hope I don't hit the ground too hard when I fall... but I will get back up and keep chasing that dream because in life we sink or swim and I've already sunk to the bottom... all that's left is to lightly tread back to some familiarity.

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts please :)

Reviews

[Luna]

I love all the imagery, it's like I'm there with you, sinking except, well it's never too deep. I haven't reached the bottom, or I have and I'm okay with it? So what if we have dreams in life, and what is next for us after we've reached our goals, Life is pointless no matter how big or small our dreams are. Sinking in the void that is left by this life we had no word in is only natural, we don't know what we are doing here, it's an endless circle, dreaming and feeling like we could fly, then losing hope and sinking to the bottom of despair, either way, it's absurd.

[AaronFreitas]

You make a great point Luna :) Sometimes you are damned at the top and damned at the bottom... I guess it becomes about finding what makes you happy as a person... and that I am still searching for. Thanks for your review :)

[~]

Yes, time to get off your butt and chase the most beautiful dream ever :D :D LOL -- sorry, i had to say it. I like your thought process, and how you finish it with a hopeful sign. Go for it man!! :D

[AaronFreitas]

Haha but Scarlett Johanssen is already taken! lol jk :) I like these writes... they are always fun to me... to just kind of ponder some things... I don't always think so negatively or reside in a dark place... yet my writings tend to come out that way haha... thanks for your review... glad to see your pretty smile on my reviews :)

[GreenEyedPoet]

I can relate to this a bit, in the sense that I don't know where I'm going. I don't know how to move forward right now. We both have to just keep looking I guess, we'll figure it out when the time is right.

I like that this is raw, it was just a thought that came to mind and you wrote it and that's what makes it more real and relatable.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you GreenEyedPoet... sometimes this s**t happens and we are just stuck... don't really understand how to move forward. For me, it's really the first time it's happened in my life so it's been frustrating but sharing how I feel and sharing those raw emotions help... and it helps when others relate because it makes the feelings worth sharing. I am glad you can relate... I'm always here if you ever need to talk :) Thanks for your review

[GreenEyedPoet]

Well at least you can get your frustration out with writing, so that's always a good thing.
And the same goes for you hun, I'm always around if you need to talk.

[KWP]

Hey Aaron - I like this - as you say - it's raw, it's real and more than that, it's relatable :)

The other day I heard a quote and it got me thinking - it went something like 'there are only two emotions in this world fear and love' quite often fear clouds our judgement, our decisions, our lives - but why? The other emotion is love - the speaker was saying - just imagine if everything we did was based on love, then fear would have no place, and if every decison is based on love then, well then we are almost home ...

you have given the read some great imagery to play with - I really could see you - a man - outside, beer in hand, exhaling deeply at the self imposed complexities of it all ...

nice work my friend XX

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much for your awesome review. That quote does make sense to me... I like those thoughts :) I always appreciate your support and feedback :)

[Ilerah]

Nicely done once again Aaron, well written, and descriptive. Good job.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Ilerah :) I tried to be as descriptive and detailed as to what was flowing through my mind. :) Appreciate your review

[Ilerah]

Glad to help out.

[Jennifer Shaw]

I really enjoyed this piece! This could be a hit song. I was actually inventing my own little melody in my head, a grungy one, while I read it. Check out my poem "Rust". Its message is similar.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Jennifer... I love grunge also... I used to write a lot of songs... I was singing in a local rock band for about 2 years... you know.. everyone has a dream of being a rockstar at some point in life lol... I will check it out ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

We must.
"but I will get back up and keep chasing that dream because in life we sink or swim and I've already sunk to the bottom... all that's left is to lightly tread back to some familiarity."
I agree. After we reach the bottom. Only way out is up. We hope. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry my friend.
Coyote

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Coyote for taking the time to read and review... I appreciate it very much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. Title caught my attention.

[sereenaoutloud]

Aaron thank you for sharing your thoughts this is such a personal,raw write that takes courage to share so thank you! SO much has changed for you so quickly,,, what you are feeling in this write is normal..sometimes we need theses moments and time to be still for a while so we can take the time to contemplate what will be our next step on this new journey!
Keep that positive attitude my friend :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Serena... I was just telling Richard the reader has to start thinking damn where is this guys mind when I put out some dark pieces haha.... I'm not always there but I like the venture there to write. I guess I enjoy those kind of writes even though as a reader it probably sounds worse than it is :) I think I'm on the way up... staying positive just not always in my writes haha :)

[sereenaoutloud]

i know what you mean..lol sometime i write things but i am not feeling that way at all ..it is just a write or i feel it a little but nowhere near as dramatic as i pen it..lol I should explain it in the notes but never do. I just leave it up for interpretation...!! :)

[AaronFreitas]

Yeah it's easiest... most people don't read the notes anyways lol... how have you been by the way?

[sereenaoutloud]

I'm doing good Aaron...finally beat this horrible cold that caused sinus infection and a chest infection...took me 3 wks to finally beat is bum!!
How ar you doing? how are the girls? excited about school break? lol

[AaronFreitas]

Damn colds catch up to us at the worst times... nothing worse than a cold when its starting to warm up. They are ready for the summer... ready to drive me crazy haha. Gotta get creative to keep them entertained but grandma has a pool so it helps :)

[sereenaoutloud]

oh yeh cant beat the pool..entertainment for hours..lol
My son is excited too...half day friday and that him SUMMER lol.
Im all sentimental this summer as my daughter starts kindergarten and thats it...first time in 8yrs i will have no kids for a few hours a day ....gonna be so weird...you so know i am going to be the mum with the kleenex box a the school gate when the yr starts lol !!

[AaronFreitas]

haha that's going to be nice... a little time for you :) I got a few years left... my baby is 3 and hoping she gets into the pre k school... it just depends on availability. Take pics on her first day of school and never forget it :)

[sereenaoutloud]

awww 3...such a fun age !! I will take loads of photos between the tears lol

[R Smith]

its always good to blow off a bit of steam Aaron and in the way you did this it comes out as you striving to find your path ahead, you look for the way to go having suffered life's tribulations, your time is coming, the good stuff has to take its turn, you wrote just free flowing thinking and made it into a work of personal value from which you'll draw an answer soon enough, great work my friend :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Richard. I know sometimes the reader has got to think man how dark of a place is this guy in? haha I'm not in that bad of a place but sometimes it's fun to venture there to write... I like the style and the thoughts :) I appreciate your review buddy and you always taking time to check out my work :)

[Robert]

Nice of you to express your felling to us. But as you say, its you that needs to start chasing your deem with full head of steam. I will give you encouragement to do so but its ultimately up to you. Even if you don't capture your dream at least you tried. Thank you for sharing.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Robert... no reason to simply exist. What makes life fun and challenging is the chase, the drive within us. I appreciate your review my friend :)

[Vanesa Markovic]

With every breath we take, we MUST fight on.
There will be time for rest later, there will be all the time in the world!
Thank you for sharing your experience and inviting me to read it.
-VM

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you for taking time to read it and leave a review... I really appreciate it Vanesa :)

[AaronFreitas]

I'm sad to read you're not posting anymore just admiring...

[Vanesa Markovic]

Be not sad, sir! I'm not posting here as I'm taking a real life shot at agents and the sort, my mentor thought it best to avoid publishing online. Look forward to reading more of your work!