A Painful Day

This one is about a moment, a day that was one of the worst days of my life. Open to your interpretation :)

The pain still lingers from that depressing day,

I wanted it so bad only for it to blow away.

The agony, the heart break, too much to take;

Crying in my sleep but not wanting to awake.

 

My heart was broken, cut and left bleeding

And I couldn’t see where this was leading.

That horrible moment replays in my mind,

This is a wound that doesn’t heal with time.

 

I shut my emotions off to avoid the pain,

Dysfunction becomes the way I stay sane.

I wonder if someday this wound will heal…

Or is this an illusion and none of it’s real?

Author's Note

Please read and review :)

Reviews

[Nightfeather]

Wounds may heal but scares will replace your old wounds but at least the pain has swayed. Sometimes I also get the feeling that my mind is playing tricks with me and shutting of the emotions is indeed a way to feel no pain, but never forget: no pain, no gain. Pain is temporary, salvation is permanent.

Good job :D

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Nightfeather :) Appreciate your feedback :)

[sereenaoutloud]

Yes this could refer to many differnt relationship in our lives That led to pain anguish. The days when we could not see hope and numbing it out was the only way to get through the day!

[AaronFreitas]

haha see I am glad you could find somewhere to relate... I still feel like if I told my story it wouldn't be as relatable :) I am glad I left it open... a little different than normal but it works for me :) Appreciate your review always Serena... and your support :)

[sereenaoutloud]

I think it is awesome Aaron and yes leaving it open for interpretation works. I enjoy poems like this make for some very interesting review lol

[AaronFreitas]

Haha yes indeed... some will like it some wont... it's a wash and can't please everyone but it works for me :)

[sereenaoutloud]

lol i actually meant how they all have their own version of what they see and how they relate with the pain..lol. but yeh that too hehehe :))

[AaronFreitas]

Haha now I gotcha :)

[sereenaoutloud]

LOL...i like ya out look though...so true you cannot please everybody!! :))

[AaronFreitas]

Never... but that's what's awesome... it helps us learn and grow :)

[sereenaoutloud]

I need to learn this ...im terrible at trying to please everybody.,,i know it is impossible but still i try lol

[....................]

The ambiguity of this piece makes it completely universal... any one of us here can take this and use it to describe the way we have felt about any tragedy in our own lives. The sadness, sense of hopelessness and uncertainty in this poem is clearly felt... well-done, Aaron!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much FT... that is kind of what I was going for since I didn't feel like my story would be one as relatable... the feelings yes but as for why I felt that... not so much. I appreciate your review buddy :)

[Gee]

I felt like this when Charlie George scored what turned out to be the winner in the 1971 FA cup final.My beloved Liverpool defeated.Nice write Aaron

[AaronFreitas]

haha see I am glad you could relate to it... and actually what you felt is the closest to what I felt that day... so close to what actually happened :) Gotta love sports and competition! Appreciate your review Gee :)

[micky]

Firstly I am so glad you have written again,secondly this is amazing Aaron I was hooked from the first line,the amount of talent you harbor within yourself is so breath taking Aaron you have left me gasping for air and speechless once again. Well done my friend this is your best as of yet,so proud Aaron :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much micky :) I am glad you enjoyed it... I was hoping these words would connect with you :) Appreciate your feedback :)

[Ashley Flynn]

I can tell you took a lot of care with the rhyming and the rhythm. I don't like some of the wording in this poem, it comes across as somewhat cliche. I really enjoy the idea of dysfunction being the way you stay sane. I believe another reviewer said there's a lot of self-awareness in that line. I wrote a poem like this a couple weeks ago, where I liked the ideas a lot but I couldn't get the phrasing just right, and I held onto it for a couple days and something better came out of it. I agree with Willard about the vagueness making the pain seem a lot less authentic. Think about when someone posts a really vague Facebook status, like, "So depressed, wondering when this will ever end." It's deliberately vague so people will ask, "what's wrong?" and comes across as deliberately attention seeking. Hold on to this poem and try to write about what's really wrong, and see what you can do with the good bits of those.

[AaronFreitas]

I appreciate your feedback :) On this one I didn't write it so people would ask whats wrong... I wrote it more so people could connect to the feelings in more ways. For me... I believe that if I wrote about what it was really about it would lose some of meaning. People would not be able to relate as much so I purposely left it open. The moment I wrote about is from... lets see... 15 years ago so I just kind of went back to that day and wrote what I felt. I felt like my entire world had crashed. When I look at it now I can laugh about it because it was such a small thing but like I said... I didn't feel the reader would connect the same way as leaving it open so I tried it a different way. Usually the reader knows exactly what I am talking about so it was an attempt as something a little different :) I appreciate your feedback... it helps me look at if from a different viewpoint. And my sister is one of those that posts on facebook like that lol

[...]

My dear Aaron, whatever the reason for this pain, it remains the pain itself that is the outcome you are dealing with. I wish for you peace and release of this chain. ((( U )))

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you lynn... the feelings from this write are old and gone. I just had to put myself back into my mind on that day and write what I had felt. Appreciate your feedback my friend :)

[B]

I known days like these

I like how open you are about all that you felt

I bet once you release it
It never comes back

Good one Aaron

[AaronFreitas]

Yeah I released these feelings a long time ago... it's actually feelings from a particular moment many years ago. I kind of just put myself back in my shoes from that day and wrote what I felt without telling the whole story. Appreciate your feedback my friend :)

[B]

It feels good to do so ..... And i love your work
Have a great evening :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Nisreenaa :) You too

[Mitali Shah]

superb Aaron, thanks for sharing this, I do connect with these words of yours that perfectly define the flow and pain. God Bless :)

[AaronFreitas]

I am glad you connect with these words Mitali... I was hoping many would :) Thank you for your review :)

[Mara]

This is really amazing!, You are truly a great poet, I love every piece you write and especially this one! The rhyming is spot on! I just love it!! Keep it coming, I look forward to reading your next poem!!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Tee :) The rhyming... I think it's just a habit from when I used to write a lot of songs... just kind of fun and the way I think I guess. I appreciate your kind words :)

[Madison Rose]

"Dysfunction becomes the way I stay sane." - Excellent self awareness Aaron! :) You did a great job with this poem! :)

Perhaps things are different now, and you have already decided that you no longer need certain behaviors to help you survive, even though those behaviors were valuable, and useful during times of survival. We know when "dysfunction" no longer helps, but instead hinders, and then we let go of the dysfunction. I have gone through difficult times, but I can tell you something that I know is true for me, once I was ready, and not fighting for my survival.

Undesirable feelings are a gift to me. They shine a light on parts of me that are hidden. When these hidden parts are seen, I am given the opportunity to heal them. When I heal parts of me that are in pain, I gain power, and the chains that were binding me, are removed, and I am set free. Every hardship, disappointment, unfulfilled desire, angry, or fearful moment can teach me about myself, and help me understand what is important to me, and what I desire from my life. Also, people can no longer use my wounds as weapons against me, because I now own all of me.

[AaronFreitas]

I also feel like those undesirable feelings are a gift... I am able to recognize them much better... much better self-awareness now. I am able to channel those feelings and pour it into a write rather than nearly self-implode. This one... well it dates all the way back to high school. A day that really turned into a week and really sucked. But I left it more open for the reader because I wanted it to be something people can read and relate to more than my story... just the feelings :) I always appreciate you and your words Madison... thank you :)