A Painful Day

This one is about a moment, a day that was one of the worst days of my life. Open to your interpretation :)

The pain still lingers from that depressing day,

I wanted it so bad only for it to blow away.

The agony, the heart break, too much to take;

Crying in my sleep but not wanting to awake.

 

My heart was broken, cut and left bleeding

And I couldn’t see where this was leading.

That horrible moment replays in my mind,

This is a wound that doesn’t heal with time.

 

I shut my emotions off to avoid the pain,

Dysfunction becomes the way I stay sane.

I wonder if someday this wound will heal…

Or is this an illusion and none of it’s real?

Author's Note

Please read and review :)

Reviews

[Nightfeather]

Wounds may heal but scares will replace your old wounds but at least the pain has swayed. Sometimes I also get the feeling that my mind is playing tricks with me and shutting of the emotions is indeed a way to feel no pain, but never forget: no pain, no gain. Pain is temporary, salvation is permanent.

Good job :D

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Nightfeather :) Appreciate your feedback :)

[silent poet]

Every word brung me back to that DAY for me, wishing it were an illusion but knowing it was and still is all too real! Nicely done, pain in print..

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much my friend... I actually looked at your profile last night wondering where you been :) Glad to see ya on here

[silent poet]

You're welcome Aaron. I love your work! And I just posted something new. I'll be on here more it's just a process of wanting to face what I feel to even write :) "thank you " for being so kind..

[AaronFreitas]

I hear ya... I learned to just let go and do me... hopefully people will like it but if not at least I'm getting it all out :) Don't be shy send read requests anytime... usually I will miss it without a read request.

[silent poet]

will do Aaron :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You capture the pathos of this sad day well in this although I am not a fan of rhyming poetry. As seeking the rhyme can often force the verse if not a natural flow. Still I relate to this and hope its shadow has decreased for you Aaron.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you John... I understand what you mean about breaking the flow just to rhyme. Glad you liked it buddy!

[Ruth]

Cutting emotion off is a healthy (for a while) coping mechanism...however, we do inevitably change and accept and when we accept, we heal, albeit a life long process, painful write love, all blessings to you :)

[AaronFreitas]

Very true Poppy! I appreciate your review... thank you :)

[yvo miki]

Makes me sad ur going through this

[AaronFreitas]

It comes and goes yvo... trying to keep positive thoughts :)

[yvo miki]

I know it does thanks

[Luna Chan]

wow! so much that just flows through me and just makes me feel like I did with louie. till I found my boyfriend, I was always hurting when I saw his picture...

[AaronFreitas]

I am glad those words can relate to you and something you went through :) I appreciate your comments :)

[Luna Chan]

well I like to share my thoughts!

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Painful to read, painful to feel. I am sorry for whatever you went through. I hope you were able to overcome it.

I have a few suggestions to make the poem better. Just for a few lines. It's up to you to take them or to leave it as is.
For line 2 in stanza 1 you could change it to: "I wanted so badly for it to blow away." It is read better and there's no repetitions of "it." Still says the same thing.
For line 4 in stanza 3 you could change it to: "Or is this an illusion and none of this is real?" The meaning is not lost with this little change.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Nadia... I will definitely look at it again tomorrow and look to improve it. I always say it is much easier for someone to look at a piece they don't know and see where it can improve and it's tough to look at your own thoughts and critique them sometimes. Your suggestions will help me :) Appreciate it my friend.... oh and the feelings are old buried ones from way back. I thought I'd flash back to that day and share the way I felt. I left it open and didn't divulge into details purposely :)

[Reeg]

This is very easy to relate to since pretty much everyone understands how it feels to feel like crap. or to feel hurt both physically and mentally. This is very insightful and enjoyable! (:

[AaronFreitas]

Yes indeed... everyone has felt down, depressed, disappointed at some time. Appreciate your review :)

[Jennifer Shaw]

This is a VERY powerful piece. I can deeply relate to this. Thank you for sharing. Check out my poem "Clusterfucked". Similar message, fewer words. I love this piece. We are of the same kind, you and I. We convey the same messages only with different articulations. You have my respect as a writer.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Jennifer :) I will definitely check it out and review :)

[Amber Lily]

Some wounds truly take years to heal, it's all about accepting what happened, but sometimes even that isn't enough to forget. Honestly, if I could make all of the bad things that ever happened to me go away, I wouldn't. Because then I wouldn't remember what I learned from them, and how to avoid it happening in the future.
I do recall feeling like this many times. You've captured the essence of how world breaking it feels when you think you have nothing felt. A great emotion ride :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Amber and I agree... sometimes things take what seems like forever to heal. This wound has healed but it's a scar that hurts now :) Thanks for your awesome review :)

[RiverRei]

This is wonderful, Aaron. I almost cried while reading this, no joke. I can relate to this on so many levels. I can confirm that all wounds heal with time, though, so it very well might be an illusion or a dream. I know we haven't talked in a while (damn busy life), but I'm here for you and you can talk to me about anything. I hope that you're not still feeling like this and I'm sorry for taking so long to give you a review. Thank you for sharing this with me though!

[AaronFreitas]

Aww thanks... I thought of texting you but I didn't want to bother... figured you'd see this eventually haha This one is actually from a feeling many years ago... just tried to flash back to that day to write about it :) If you want to know where my minds been read my newest one :) I sent you a RR for it :)

[RiverRei]

I'm working on getting through my read requests, I'll get to it as soon as I can :P I like working on them in the order I get them, cuz I'm slightly OCD like that LOL.