I could feel it… she was standing there
watching me as I slept. Subconsciously I awoke to ask her if everything was ok
but she didn't respond. I rolled over and looked up to see her shadow... she
looked me in my eyes then walked away. Sometimes I forget I live alone but in
reality we are never really alone are we?
Hi Aaron. I am not a great fan of prose in poetry, and so very seldom read it. You have written well and it was a pleasant read, but personally, I think that format lacks punch. I did love the wording, you got it right !!! just . . . I'm into structure, not reading books, I guess, alf
I hear ya buddy... I just had to get out what happened to me when I woke up... true story lol. Than.. read moreI hear ya buddy... I just had to get out what happened to me when I woke up... true story lol. Thanks for stopping by buddy
haha! scary paranormal type story....I liked it :) Good write!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you friend... scary part is it's real and happened to me. Now I'm scared to go to sleep lol.... read moreThank you friend... scary part is it's real and happened to me. Now I'm scared to go to sleep lol... thanks for your review :)
Oh my! A bit scary, but I can see the very profound meaning in it...nicely written, my friend.
Maumil
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you very much Maumil :) It is a bit scary especially those that read it at night before bed t.. read moreThank you very much Maumil :) It is a bit scary especially those that read it at night before bed time... never know who's watching... thanks for your review
Aaron, Sometimes I think we become so connected to people that there is a connection that goes beyond what we really understand. I think those connections are strongest when we are first waking or just going to sleep. We carry those people in our hearts, but for some, it is even more than that. My ex used to live about 90 miles from me, and there were times when sudden feelings would come over me and either his name would pop up or memory of his face. At first I ignored it, but would find out talking to him later that something had happened. I started calling him as soon as I could after it happened, and we used to joke about me having ESP, but it never really happened with other people. Sometimes it was good and sometimes it was bad but whatever emotion I felt, matched his. It took years for it to stop happening, and sometimes I imagine there is still a bit there, even though we both moved on long ago.
This reminds me of that feeling. It's like having a direct link. Some twins have it so why not other people in other forms. I think we believe it is not rational ans so we suppress it, but it is hard to suppress upon waking. Our guards are not up yet, the conscious mind has not taken over.
Just my thoughts today given your description. ~Jan
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I hear ya Jan... well whoever it is could at least come over and cuddle lol... I've heard of twins s.. read moreI hear ya Jan... well whoever it is could at least come over and cuddle lol... I've heard of twins sharing that connection... even in the book and movie Lone Survivor... amazing book by the way. Appreciate your review and comments :)
The concept you've used here is the total opposite of what I've usually come across. They say we are alone, ultimately really alone. And your story here spices things up with your imagination and it's all very interesting. The best thing about it: it's creepy; oh I wonder who she was..
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Rana :) It's a house on my families ranch so I believe it's been mostly family here. I k.. read moreThank you Rana :) It's a house on my families ranch so I believe it's been mostly family here. I know after I fixed it up and moved in my grandpa told me my great uncle died here right where I sleep lol... appreciate your review :)
9 Years Ago
Ah. You're quite lucky to have such a thrilling place to live in. Have fun exploring! :)
This was really good! And true. I like this a lot, nothing to criticise. Keep Writing!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Aww thanks Shea... I wasn't sure how to format or what direction to go but I wanted to tell the stor.. read moreAww thanks Shea... I wasn't sure how to format or what direction to go but I wanted to tell the story so I just wrote it and posted it haha... appreciate your review :)
I think if you worked a little bit on this you could have a super cool horror story poem on your hands. Incorporate the fact that it is you and it is a true story, that it happened just yesterday. You could even incorporate the date, and say for example, strange things happening on the 13th i could maybe understand, but why the 14th, thats not a suspicious day. (Although maybe it is for where you stay, I would check the building and the areas history.) So keep working on it, and thanks for sharing, and please stay safe!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks Nadia maybe I will play with it some more and develop the story a little more. :) Appreciat.. read moreThanks Nadia maybe I will play with it some more and develop the story a little more. :) Appreciate your review
Very interesting read and thoughts in this piece. A little of the bump in the night. Was it she or an even bigger illusion. Maybe it was just your angel checking in on you young man. Great work and thanks.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Hopefully it was my guardian angel... that would make me feel much better and it does seem like some.. read moreHopefully it was my guardian angel... that would make me feel much better and it does seem like someone has been helping me through my days. Appreciate your review Willard... finally a little bit of rain for us also!
9 Years Ago
Well on my side of town or freeway has no water. I don't believe the promise of rain until it is her.. read moreWell on my side of town or freeway has no water. I don't believe the promise of rain until it is here and gone and measurable. And reading your work I am sure that is your angel just checking in on you. Peace out bro.
9 Years Ago
Thanks buddy. We got a lot of rain yesterday but today my weather.com says cloudy with rain and I a.. read moreThanks buddy. We got a lot of rain yesterday but today my weather.com says cloudy with rain and I am pretty sure there is hardly a cloud in the sky haha
9 Years Ago
We have nothing but lip service when it came to rain. Still hoping.
Must be nice to get paid to be wrong all the time lol
9 Years Ago
Yep and by the way. Sorry to take your dark that you treasure and turn it to sunshine and light. Hah.. read moreYep and by the way. Sorry to take your dark that you treasure and turn it to sunshine and light. Hahaha
If its true then how are you still living in that house Aarao?? its haunted..
BTW really nice expression... left me wondering about so many things... Nice write :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Well I can't say its the first house I've lived in with spirits. I think maybe I am just getting us.. read moreWell I can't say its the first house I've lived in with spirits. I think maybe I am just getting used to it now. I've learned to accept it I believe. Appreciate your review and comments :)
It might be... it's a little scary. When I moved in and fixed it all up my grandpa came by and told.. read moreIt might be... it's a little scary. When I moved in and fixed it all up my grandpa came by and told me my great uncle (his brother) died in his bed right where I sleep. So I have been a little weirded out since haha ... thanks for the review I appreciate it :)
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..