I could feel it… she was standing there
watching me as I slept. Subconsciously I awoke to ask her if everything was ok
but she didn't respond. I rolled over and looked up to see her shadow... she
looked me in my eyes then walked away. Sometimes I forget I live alone but in
reality we are never really alone are we?
Hi Aaron. I am not a great fan of prose in poetry, and so very seldom read it. You have written well and it was a pleasant read, but personally, I think that format lacks punch. I did love the wording, you got it right !!! just . . . I'm into structure, not reading books, I guess, alf
I hear ya buddy... I just had to get out what happened to me when I woke up... true story lol. Than.. read moreI hear ya buddy... I just had to get out what happened to me when I woke up... true story lol. Thanks for stopping by buddy
Scary stuff. I'd be afraid to stay in the same house if I saw something like that.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Haha I guess I am getting used to it... some crazy stuff has happened since I've moved in here. App.. read moreHaha I guess I am getting used to it... some crazy stuff has happened since I've moved in here. Appreciate the review my friend :)
this says alot i think about how our subconscious works
even when those we care about have physically left, they remain in our psyches
as if they were still there
great poem
-Dream
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Our subconscious does work in mysterious ways. We see things we may not see when we are wide awake .. read moreOur subconscious does work in mysterious ways. We see things we may not see when we are wide awake and moving through our day. Appreciate the review my friend :)
great Aaron, i remember a while ago seeing a challenge to write a scary story in just one line, yours maybe a longer tale but its amazing how you packed so much fear into so few words, I loved it :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks buddy... I should look at more contests find good things to write about. Thanks for the revi.. read moreThanks buddy... I should look at more contests find good things to write about. Thanks for the review buddy :)
Nice...very nice! "Subconsciously I awoke to ask her if everything was ok but she didn't respond" Asleep but awake, within the subconscious realm! I would say this was a walk in the in-between world. I love this! So much written in so few words.
Thats what it felt like... I see movements sometimes when I'm just relaxing at home but this time it.. read moreThats what it felt like... I see movements sometimes when I'm just relaxing at home but this time it was a little different. Had to write about it. Appreciate the review :)
9 Years Ago
If I may comment further...never doubt the magical mystical life we exist within, all things are pos.. read moreIf I may comment further...never doubt the magical mystical life we exist within, all things are possible!
My love for ghosts stories matches my love for super heroes. 😊 this piece definitely has the feel of a story. One that I would like to hear more about. This woman, for example. Was she someone close to him who passed or a spirit trapped in the house that he has come to accept?
You could create a more powerful piece by playing with the word arrangement and selection more. The imagey you are using now is a good starting point.
I hope you will expand on this piece, whether you choose to use a mini story or poetry.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
From the reviews it's got me thinking of playing with this more. When I first wrote it I kind of ju.. read moreFrom the reviews it's got me thinking of playing with this more. When I first wrote it I kind of just wanted to tell what happened to me so I wrote and posted it. I know now I could make it more interesting and develop the story :) I may just do so... keep a look out for it :) Appreciate your feed back Michelle
I liked this. I lived in a haunted house for twenty years growing up. It was unsettling when I'd hear footsteps downstairs and moving around, call down to my family and then remember no body was home but me at the time... Can be kind of eerie.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes it can be... my grandmothers house is haunted and creepy as hell. We could always see a woman wa.. read moreYes it can be... my grandmothers house is haunted and creepy as hell. We could always see a woman walking through the hall and hear movement and stuff. It's scary but you get used to it. Thanks for your review my friend :)
9 Years Ago
yeah over time it kinda becomes a part of day to day life.
I'd say just keep an eye out for any aggressive behavior. Some spirits, if not most, are completely .. read moreI'd say just keep an eye out for any aggressive behavior. Some spirits, if not most, are completely harmless, just lost or stuck and unable to let go. But some spirits can get aggressive.
9 Years Ago
Yeah I hear ya... I've witnessed an aggressive one before and it was not fun. I will write about it.. read moreYeah I hear ya... I've witnessed an aggressive one before and it was not fun. I will write about it soon and share :)
9 Years Ago
I'd like to read it. Things like that interest me.
That is creepy, especially after just waking up and what is real and unreal is kind of a blur still. *SHUDDERS*
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes indeed... needless to say I was scared in my house alone last night haha... thanks Nadia appreci.. read moreYes indeed... needless to say I was scared in my house alone last night haha... thanks Nadia appreciate your review :) How's life treating you?
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..