I hear this, when i close my eyes and listen i can hear a small and scared and feeble voice, tattered and worn just pleading, almost begging for some mercy.
It makes your heart sink.
It also reminds me of a child, unaware and untainted having their first lesson in life but that somehow is a darker picture than the first.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I mentioned in a comment this write took me back to my childhood... laying in bed praying and gettin.. read moreI mentioned in a comment this write took me back to my childhood... laying in bed praying and getting a whooping. Thanks for your review Pixieblue :)
I'm not usually a fan of short poetry but this struck me, in a good way. Effective word choice and a strong message! Although I'm not religous, it's still relatable because everyone has downs in which they feel the need for help from some higher power, whatever you choose to call that power.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Sophia... I've had so many not religious people review this lol... I don't judge though I'.. read moreThank you Sophia... I've had so many not religious people review this lol... I don't judge though I'm glad you didn't read it and just move on... thanks for still reading and leaving a review... I appreciate you my friend :) How you been?
I love the simplicity of this piece, it's always nice to write down any thoughts you have even if they are simple.
I can see you reaching out, no one can handle his/her struggles on their own. Continue your faith in your beliefs; as your beliefs grow, your strength will grow too.
Awesome write my friend!
-Yanina
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you very much Yanina :) I appreciate your review and kind words :)
Writing a senryu to God is certainly one way to get His attention. A very heartfelt and direct plea for help will soothe your soul and should bring you the peace you so desire. take care...dan
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Dan... appreciate your review buddy. Yeah... that is one way :)
Wow, no beating around the push here. :)
I don't believe in God but I respect people's faith.
You need to meet the big man half way, be strong buddy because the road is long. :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes indeed my friend... thanks for your review and comments :)
Best poem yet Aaron! :) Keep your eyes searching, and your ears ready to listen, God's help is on the way :)
God can use anything, or anyone to help you. I will tell you what happened to me last Sunday, God sent me a jellyfish, haha :) Seriously, it was amazing! On Sunday I was so angry, and scared, and feeling hurt feelings that my blood pressure spiked, and I felt a little pain near my heart. I knew I had to calm myself quickly. So I went online to try to get my mind off of things long enough for me to become calm again. I went to look at someone's picture of tulips, and his second picture wasn't more flowers, to my surprise, it was a jellyfish. And why this is important, and why I know God sent me help is because for some strange reason looking at jellyfish, especially swimming jellyfish, slows my breathing, and lowers my blood pressure immediately. I had forgotten about this fact until after I started breathing deeper, and more slowly while looking at his picture of the jellyfish. See Aaron, God sends us help in many different ways, so be open to the little blessings, and big blessings about to come to you.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thats an awesome story! He does work in mysterious ways :) Appreciate your review Madison... alway.. read moreThats an awesome story! He does work in mysterious ways :) Appreciate your review Madison... always do :) Thanks!
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..