Rescue my Soul (Senryu)

Just some thoughts

God, can you hear me?

It’s Aaron… I need your help.

Please rescue my soul.

 

Author's Note

Please review... appreciate it :)

Reviews

[Pixieblue]

I hear this, when i close my eyes and listen i can hear a small and scared and feeble voice, tattered and worn just pleading, almost begging for some mercy.
It makes your heart sink.
It also reminds me of a child, unaware and untainted having their first lesson in life but that somehow is a darker picture than the first.

[AaronFreitas]

I mentioned in a comment this write took me back to my childhood... laying in bed praying and getting a whooping. Thanks for your review Pixieblue :)

[Ishita Dixit]

Honest and sincere.
Short and sweet.
Simple, yet impactful!
Great job!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Ishita... I tried my best :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Such impact in so few words. Nicely penned

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Briana :) I tried my best... thanks for reviewing :)

[Sophia]

I'm not usually a fan of short poetry but this struck me, in a good way. Effective word choice and a strong message! Although I'm not religous, it's still relatable because everyone has downs in which they feel the need for help from some higher power, whatever you choose to call that power.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Sophia... I've had so many not religious people review this lol... I don't judge though I'm glad you didn't read it and just move on... thanks for still reading and leaving a review... I appreciate you my friend :) How you been?

[Yanina McKnight]

I love the simplicity of this piece, it's always nice to write down any thoughts you have even if they are simple.
I can see you reaching out, no one can handle his/her struggles on their own. Continue your faith in your beliefs; as your beliefs grow, your strength will grow too.
Awesome write my friend!

-Yanina

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Yanina :) I appreciate your review and kind words :)

[Yanina McKnight]

You're very welcome! :)

[dan]

Writing a senryu to God is certainly one way to get His attention. A very heartfelt and direct plea for help will soothe your soul and should bring you the peace you so desire. take care...dan

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Dan... appreciate your review buddy. Yeah... that is one way :)

[Julia Mars]

Wow, no beating around the push here. :)
I don't believe in God but I respect people's faith.
You need to meet the big man half way, be strong buddy because the road is long. :)

[AaronFreitas]

Yes indeed my friend... thanks for your review and comments :)

[....................]

A straight forward plea to God in strong senryu form... no need to dig deep here, Aaron... it's all on your sleeve, my friend... nice write!!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much FT... appreciate the review. :)

[Madison Rose]

Best poem yet Aaron! :) Keep your eyes searching, and your ears ready to listen, God's help is on the way :)
God can use anything, or anyone to help you. I will tell you what happened to me last Sunday, God sent me a jellyfish, haha :) Seriously, it was amazing! On Sunday I was so angry, and scared, and feeling hurt feelings that my blood pressure spiked, and I felt a little pain near my heart. I knew I had to calm myself quickly. So I went online to try to get my mind off of things long enough for me to become calm again. I went to look at someone's picture of tulips, and his second picture wasn't more flowers, to my surprise, it was a jellyfish. And why this is important, and why I know God sent me help is because for some strange reason looking at jellyfish, especially swimming jellyfish, slows my breathing, and lowers my blood pressure immediately. I had forgotten about this fact until after I started breathing deeper, and more slowly while looking at his picture of the jellyfish. See Aaron, God sends us help in many different ways, so be open to the little blessings, and big blessings about to come to you.

[AaronFreitas]

Thats an awesome story! He does work in mysterious ways :) Appreciate your review Madison... always do :) Thanks!

[RomaJ]

This is beautiful, Aaron and very profound. One, that we can all relate to. Deeply heartfelt write.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Roma... appreciate your review my friend :)

[marcus]

a Senryu prayer, I like it!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Marcus :) Appreciate the review