Rescue my Soul (Senryu)

Just some thoughts

God, can you hear me?

It’s Aaron… I need your help.

Please rescue my soul.

 

Author's Note

Please review... appreciate it :)

Reviews

[Pixieblue]

I hear this, when i close my eyes and listen i can hear a small and scared and feeble voice, tattered and worn just pleading, almost begging for some mercy.
It makes your heart sink.
It also reminds me of a child, unaware and untainted having their first lesson in life but that somehow is a darker picture than the first.

[AaronFreitas]

I mentioned in a comment this write took me back to my childhood... laying in bed praying and getting a whooping. Thanks for your review Pixieblue :)

[Ilerah]

Short, but good. I enjoyed the quick read.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Ilerah... appreciate your comments.

[Terrence Chang]

It lack some meaning in this poem. Although you have kept in senryu style. Don't get me wrong but you still tried and I will give you points for that

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Terrance

[azaleablue]

As a very religious person this is beautiful! its so simple but vulnerable and open.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much my friend :) Appreciate your review

[Nabeeha Mustafa]

Short and beautifully expressed :') Amazing work.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Nabeeha :) Appreciate your review... send me any requests you want read :)

[Madhu]

Short, simple, sad and stunning!

[AaronFreitas]

Nice... the 4 S's that I was going for :) Appreciate your review Madhu :)

[MsJewel]

Powerful and honest words my friend.

:) Julie

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Julie :) Appreciate your review

[SleeplessVolcano]

Know this feeling so well.......sometimes it seems as my words bounce off the ceiling, back to my desperate mouth.

WIthin those apparent silences, we tend to hear him best eventually.....:)

[AaronFreitas]

Yeah I hear ya... sometimes it feels like that... then we ask "God... can you hear me?" Glad you know this feeling... appreciate your review my friend :)

[SleeplessVolcano]

The best analogy I heard recently was that we are like TV sets, requiring to be tuned in properly. The correct signals are always there......there is no fault with the signal, the "repair" work lies with the TV.....:)

[Confuser]

Aaron: I love it! I'm leaving a lot to the featured review. It did touch my heart and the prayer sounded more like a plea....Rescue my Soul...Beautiful title and just lovely writing. You surprised me! Great work. Everyone can relate Aaron; hope more people read it. Sometimes we or I feel like God guide me, am I wasting my life...searching for a change. Wonderful Senryu! Thank you so much. Dale

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Dale! Appreciate the review. This one here is my second Senryu... I kind of like the format. It isn't as easy as being able to write out everything you feel and the challenge is to still create the connection to the words. 17 syllables is easy... but finding a way to connect with the reader is the fun and challenging part. Thank you buddy :)

[Confuser]

Buddy, I loved it & you're welcome!

[RiverRei]

Aww....I'll help God rescue you, friend! Why do you think you need to be rescued? What have you done, or what has happened to you to make you think your soul is damned to hell? Great write, but very sad. Thanks for sharing, friend. You have a gift!

[AaronFreitas]

Hmm so many questions... I couldn't fit all that in a Senryu lol... thanks for the review friend :)

[Ruth]

When we feel the soul is need of rescue, the dam has broken and we can only call it back, poignant hon ...

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Poppy :) appreciate your review my friend