The Evil Inside

Don't know what evil is consuming my thoughts lately

 

I feel it coming again…
Disconnecting from the world.
Crawling into my dark hole,
Pushing everyone away.
I want to be loved, yet…
Want to be alone.
Alone to sulk in my own depression…
To search for clarity in purpose.
My loneliness gets lonelier...
My sadness gets darker,
And evil takes control
Of this ill fated mind.
Why can't I pull away? 
Why can't I stay strong?
When I push these demons away 
They fight to come back!
Come back for control
To overtake my mind.
Corrupt my soul and 
Leave me hurting.
Leave me gasping for faith;
I'm searching for strength.
Desperate for my faith but
Right now the devil is on the move.
Pushing, consuming, trying
To overtake me.
Pushing my triggers…
Finding my deepest scars.
Reminding me that he
Is always here on earth with me.
Slowly digging into me.
My weakness is my emptiness.
My strength is a distant memory.
Find me... I'm lost and alone.

 

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts

Reviews

[Rodger Tunif]

There is no one to find you. It is you who must find yourself. And when you do, you might discover there is no one there. Then, you will either despair or you will survive to MAKE yourself. One must not find themself, one must create themself. There is no devil to oppress you, there is only you. You are the devil and you are the angel. These forces of good and evil compose your being. To wrestle with the devil is to refrain your own hand. Understand and embrace yourself for everything that you are; good and evil, right and wrong. Embrace who you are. This is hope. This is faith. To hope in yourself. To have faith and believe in yourself both as you are and as you can become. Why do you cry aloud for someone else who cannot help you? YOU can help you. You define you, you are you, you control you. Don't wait to be found. Build something for us to discover.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Mr. Firtch... appreciate the words... the review... your comments. Thank you! :)

[Calamityofgin]

So which should he do French..embrace himself as he is or create himself..totally confused by this.

[B]

I love the last lines
So true

A very deep piece here
And i know how this feels .... only withdrawing can also be to help one create and find a good place within

I love your style and your sense of delivery
You are quite cool

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Nisreenaa... thanks for your kind words :) I appreciate you taking the time :)

[B]

My pleasure

[Joshua Clement]

What immediately comes to my mind "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I remain in you, you will bear much fruit (Love, peace patience, kindness goodness, self control aka Fruits of the spirit). Apart from me, you can do nothing." -Jesus (John 15:5)
Other than that, I feel you you on every one of those, it is a battle of the deepest and most desperate kind... and so many of us wander about with such wounded hearts and souls, I think it would terrify us if we could actually see spiritual wounds... people might even be kinder to each other... thank you for sharing!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Joshua... and beautiful quote... I needed that. Appreciate the review buddy... thank you!

[....................]

My weakness is my emptiness.
My strength is a distant memory.
Find me... I'm lost and alone.

...and find yourself, you must. It is a lonely and fierce journey but it is one that we all must take sometimes. In all the anguish and pain living in this piece, there is also hope buried deep within. Seek it out, hold on to it and let it take you out of this pit of despair. You can do it, my friend.

[AaronFreitas]

Yes FT that's the first step... been good then hit a rough patch here. I'm good just gotta get out and stay busy :) Appreciate your review

[....................]

Stay strong, Aaron... life is rooting for you!!

[Ashadan]

I want to be loved, yet…
Want to be alone.

I like these lines for I also felt that way.
I could say that- it doesn't matter to search for someone to tell you what you need and who you are, what matters most is knowing what your heart is telling you =)

[AaronFreitas]

It's crazy how we live sometimes... want but don't want... just gets confusing sometimes. Appreciate your review buddy!

[fattycbreezy52]

You need an exorcism;D
Just kidding!
Well what I can say?I have developed an affinity with the demons inside me.I feel this everyday not just in darkness but in a sunny room filled with folks and fools:
Fantastic ,yet hard-hitting,Keep writing:)

[AaronFreitas]

Haha I may need an exorcism... or a beer lol. Thanks for the review and for making me laugh :) Appreciate you my friend!

[modtoddinc]

Thank you for sharing. I have nothing more to add based on Mr. Fitch's comments... truth has been spoken.

~peace,Todd

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Todd :) Appreciate it buddy!

[wordman]

fight those demons off,stand tall in your faith

[AaronFreitas]

Will do buddy... that's why I write it out... get it out the system and move past the moment. Appreciate your comments buddy!

[wordman]

i beleive satan knows the time is close,and i think he`s attacking all christians

[Jamestown]

Well penned!
Raw emotions oozing out in this piece, as you know my friend long suffering
is something that we will go through, but I also know how to overcome it and
you do as well:) A dark piece that really digs into your struggle and of course
I will be praying for you, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you James! Can definitely use the prayers right now... you know how times get dark but we come out stronger. Thanks buddy!

[Perkele.7885]

Aaron most of us write from our comfort zones or from places in our lives where we have spent a considerable amount of time. You will see my work often settles around sad or lonely topics because I know about these things. You are writing about the darker side of human nature. That seems to be your strong suit. It is not mine.
Your unknown character in this poem could do well to place his/her problems/issues at the Lords feet and ask for his grace for strength and happiness in their life.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Perkele... I guess you could say this is my sadness.. just expressed in a darker tone. Appreciate the review :)