The Evil Inside

Don't know what evil is consuming my thoughts lately

 

I feel it coming again…
Disconnecting from the world.
Crawling into my dark hole,
Pushing everyone away.
I want to be loved, yet…
Want to be alone.
Alone to sulk in my own depression…
To search for clarity in purpose.
My loneliness gets lonelier...
My sadness gets darker,
And evil takes control
Of this ill fated mind.
Why can't I pull away? 
Why can't I stay strong?
When I push these demons away 
They fight to come back!
Come back for control
To overtake my mind.
Corrupt my soul and 
Leave me hurting.
Leave me gasping for faith;
I'm searching for strength.
Desperate for my faith but
Right now the devil is on the move.
Pushing, consuming, trying
To overtake me.
Pushing my triggers…
Finding my deepest scars.
Reminding me that he
Is always here on earth with me.
Slowly digging into me.
My weakness is my emptiness.
My strength is a distant memory.
Find me... I'm lost and alone.

 

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts

Reviews

[Rodger Tunif]

There is no one to find you. It is you who must find yourself. And when you do, you might discover there is no one there. Then, you will either despair or you will survive to MAKE yourself. One must not find themself, one must create themself. There is no devil to oppress you, there is only you. You are the devil and you are the angel. These forces of good and evil compose your being. To wrestle with the devil is to refrain your own hand. Understand and embrace yourself for everything that you are; good and evil, right and wrong. Embrace who you are. This is hope. This is faith. To hope in yourself. To have faith and believe in yourself both as you are and as you can become. Why do you cry aloud for someone else who cannot help you? YOU can help you. You define you, you are you, you control you. Don't wait to be found. Build something for us to discover.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Mr. Firtch... appreciate the words... the review... your comments. Thank you! :)

[Calamityofgin]

So which should he do French..embrace himself as he is or create himself..totally confused by this.

[ROXANE DORSEY]

Amazing the thoughts in my very head at times. thanks for this nice poem.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

"My weakness is my emptiness.
My strength is a distant memory.
Find me... I'm lost and alone."

One day you'll rise again and see the morning light.
Good read!

[Martin]

This is the type of thing that I write when I am in a depression. I hope it helps you as much as it helps me! Aside from that, I loved the imagery, and the piece stayed on point all the way through! Very impressive! Keep writing! :)

[AaronFreitas]

It definitely helps... it's therapeutic :) I appreciate your review buddy!

[Rosegal95]

very easy to relate to. you very nicely convey your feelings and wants. I felt like I got a little peek into your mind and also your soul. I got goosebumps reading it! but I apreciate you being raw and open! awesome! keep writing Aaron!

[AaronFreitas]

Haha... be careful what you look for when peeking into my mind and soul lol :) I appreciate your review Savannah... love the new pic :)

[Pathtaken]

A sad reminder of the great struggle, even more frightening because it is inside you. It's so much easier to fight external battles, fight or flee. Sadly, only you can overcome. Nicely written, evoking many emotions.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Pathtaken. It's been a while since I've even read this one so it was nice to reflect on it. Thanks for your review :)

[Calamityofgin]

Oh baby doll. Know those demons. You know the more you fear them the worse they taunt..read mih love note.to a new friend Z. .advise on this very thing kitten.

Hanting and well written.

Love and wishes of a free mind.

Calamity of Jennifer

[Calamityofgin]

As for Mr Frenches well intended advise. We all have self. No psychiatrist or faith advisor in the world is going to say..ignore that base self and create one. Thats total delusion and dangerous. And i have found a quite lovely interesting young man that i enjoy very much discovering. You are quite enough in that reguard. Jeez! A very rude last thing to say.

Always enjoy your coments on mih erotica..obviously you are layered. And we should 😢 cry out help some. You have got the invading feelings of chemical depression down. You were obviously speaking of metaphorical demons and a devil.
Just dont dwell and live there dove..i do agree you are the key to yourself. He is contradicting himself..

Love darlin..tell those demons to git!

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks for your awesome review :) I think as much as everyone can give advice and we can see therapists and counselors and everything... it all comes down to us really looking at ourselves and understanding ourselves and finding that happiness in ourself and loving our self. Once we do that we can do so much more :) Haha I've been trying to tell the demons to git! lol

[Calamityofgin]

Right on! Read my love note to a new friend z

[Silent Heart]

wow ! i felt this so deep in my soul ! i love it. Great great job :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Silent Heart :) Appreciate your kind words :)

[cycy]

I want to be loved, yet…
Want to be alone.

that was my fav part coz i can really relate. well written, so much intensity and raw emotion in this poem.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you cycy :) Glad you can relate to those words... it's hard to explain but when you feel it in yourself you know exactly the feeling. Thanks for your feedback :)

[FaeryQueen]

i feel this sooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Khatoon :) This is one of my self reflective pieces :)

[Urja Gokani]

wow amazingly written keep it up !!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you cherryblossom :) I will try my best!