Untitled

Just some things that came out... no punctuation just read it fast and keep the flow :)

Is it me or is it you

Complications from the truth

You should have lied

You should have tried

To fill the soul with many lies

 

The truth can kill

And lies don’t heal

They ease the pain before the kill

You broke my trust

Teased with lust

Made me feel

What was never real

 

A sickening feeling

Deep inside

Hearts on fire

Burning bright

You won me over

With lustful screams

Then slowly drowned

Away my dreams

 

My heart was blind

My sight alive

Could not see past all the lies

Too blind to see

Too dumb to read

All the signs

In front of me

 

Now I’m alone

I should have known

To never trust you

In my home

You failed to see

The good in me

And now you’re just

A memory

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please let me know your thoughts... thanks

Reviews

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Hmmm... As for the poem, i think its very well done. As for the meaning...now i'm speaking, based on personal experience... Well, i'd only write poems like this, if my relationship with someone i love would break. When someone i love...or to pick up the poem's atmosphere a little better, someone i used to love shatters my heart. Anyhow, you did great.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you IM.... I appreciate your review :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome:)

[RiverRei]

This is wonderful. I love the format and the rhyme scheme you developed. I'm sorry that you've had to go through this, but it makes for a magnificent poem. It makes me feel bad though. It makes me think back to all my relationships, and even friendships, and question whether I made anyone feel like this before...I really hope not :( Thank you for sharing though, this is a great piece. I'm always here if you need anything!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much River :) Things happen... all we can do is grow and press on.

[R Smith]

I always enjoy a good let it flow and to hell with what comes out, you do it very well and i see a relationship breaking apart, well done Aaron :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Richard. I Appreciate your kinds words very much :)

[cloakedone]

this poem resounds like a strained relationship where the doundation is crumbling in its wake .i commend you aaron .

~cloaked one

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much friend... it's a relationship that crumbled apart already.

[cloakedone]

i figured that out whilst reading it aaron and your welcome

[Pink Cucumber]

Good choice of words! :) I really like the thought of the poem. Good job! I want to see more of your writings :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Pink Cucumber! I got plenty for you to look at... read away my friend :)

[Ana B.]

wow, intense and raw....absolutely wonderful poem my friend, i love it and oh how can we not relate....lovely

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks very much Ana :) I ordered that tea from Moldova... I think it helped :) Haha jk this poem is one of those that just came out and flowed well.. little dark but I guess thats my style.

[Ana B.]

I love this style, more of this please :) And yep, i knew you would order it :D

[andrew mitchell]

Aaron I felt like I was doing 200kms with the fast flow, hitting bumps along the way. I needed a helmut. Very well written.

[AaronFreitas]

haha thanks my friend... lots of rhymes in this piece... appreciate your review buddy!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

awesome flow...........
relateable train of thoughts.......
sad tale of love......
i loved it!!!
:)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Pushkar! Appreciate the review buddy!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome!!! :) :)

[J.A. Marquez]

I love that you said to just let it flow because that is how I read it and I really felt it. Maybe because we have similar stories to this effect, but this is wonderful to me. Stanza three is my favorite. Honestly I feel this. It basically is my thought process incarnate for the last two weeks.

[AaronFreitas]

Aww thanks J.A. I really appreciate your review :) I thought it might hit home for you too.

[SammMG]

Well I can say this is easy to relate to. It's amazing how things can be so fogged up when the truth is right in-front of us, and then the afterwards when clarity is shown... Well the feeling can be closer to just despair. I can say that we believe in what we want to until doubt is planted, and sadly sometimes it never is until it's too late. Makes it all the much more painful. Good work though, I like how you end with an awareness of what happened. Not complete longing, but with realization. After all once we realize what's happened, we get the chance to move on.

[AaronFreitas]

I agree my friend... sometimes it's hard to see things when you are living it. It's easier to see when on the outside looking in... but we get so caught up we can't see the truth. Thanks for the review buddy!