Untitled

Just some things that came out... no punctuation just read it fast and keep the flow :)

Is it me or is it you

Complications from the truth

You should have lied

You should have tried

To fill the soul with many lies

 

The truth can kill

And lies don’t heal

They ease the pain before the kill

You broke my trust

Teased with lust

Made me feel

What was never real

 

A sickening feeling

Deep inside

Hearts on fire

Burning bright

You won me over

With lustful screams

Then slowly drowned

Away my dreams

 

My heart was blind

My sight alive

Could not see past all the lies

Too blind to see

Too dumb to read

All the signs

In front of me

 

Now I’m alone

I should have known

To never trust you

In my home

You failed to see

The good in me

And now you’re just

A memory

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please let me know your thoughts... thanks

Reviews

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Hmmm... As for the poem, i think its very well done. As for the meaning...now i'm speaking, based on personal experience... Well, i'd only write poems like this, if my relationship with someone i love would break. When someone i love...or to pick up the poem's atmosphere a little better, someone i used to love shatters my heart. Anyhow, you did great.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you IM.... I appreciate your review :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome:)

[Christopher Zuelke]

The poem itself is flawless and flowing. Personally, as a fellow writer, I have noticed in my short time so far, that a good title is always important. I do not know if "Untitled" is the meant title for this beautiful writing and I have simply gone in over my head, but nevertheless, this very document deserves an amazing title to match the amazing content. Even if it is just "some things that came out..." Overall, excellent!!!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Christopher :) I just never titled it and never went back to title it haha.... appreciate your reviews buddy :)

[FaeryQueen]

this is a sweet read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much :)

[silent poet]

My thoughts? Hmm you know me by now as much as I bleed in lines. My heart and soul touched by pain and realizations of my own twisted lies. Not to other's but those I tell myself. Knowing love is anything but, but still dove in deep myself.. Very very deep, sad, heartfelt and honest. You're such a great soul in a body some may fail to take the time to see but it's their loss. We lose time, sanity and most importantly pieces of ourselves but Aaron that's no flaw!! That's just how true, loving and amazing people such as yourself grow stronger to accept and prepare for the lovely soul you were meant for!! :) you're awesome, I love this!!!! You're one of my reasons for staying on this site, :) I write and fall and set myself up from words I believed were real just because mine are. But all people aren't the same. But YOU? You showed me that there are many people whose words hold weight and for that I appreciate you !!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you so much my friend. You always put so much thought in responding and I love that you enjoy my words and really understand them. Thank you soooooo much :)

[silent poet]

Aaron :) you're so welcome!! Truly!! :)

[Chirag Kumar]

I liked the flow of the poem. Well written friend :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks buddy I appreciate your support :)

[Relic]

Love and relationships are never guaranteed to run smoothly or at all for that matter. Learning the hard way that someone can screw you up hurts. I've been there and know many that have gone through the same thing. We must earn from our experiences and have the wherewithal to not repeat our mistakes.

[AaronFreitas]

Yes indeed my friend... only thing we can do is learn from every event that happens in our life. Appreciate your review Relic :)

[Relic]

My pleasure.

[costa siwale]

Awesome poem! I enjoyed reading it

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks buddy... appreciate the comments.

[Briana O'Connor]

I like the fast paced rhythm of the piece. It reminds me of a passionate speech you would throw at the thief of ones heart. Enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing

[AaronFreitas]

I'm glad you read and reviewed it my friend :) It flows a lot better when its read fast and smooth :) Appreciate you taking the time to look at my work! Don't forget send me any read requests :)

[Sophia]

just reading through your work and I have to say, this is my favourite so far. so many emotions in one poem... well done you

[AaronFreitas]

Awww thanks Sophia... each one I write always has some kind of underlying meaning to me... glad you liked it :)

[Willard Wells]

One of my favorite topics, lost love. Beautiful job Aaron. I really liked the flow and the structure. Had a great feeling and I could feel your pain and loss of trust. Nice work young man, keep it up.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Willard... lost love is painful and it sucks but we learn and grow from it. Thank you for the review buddy I appreciate it very much :)

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

your thoughts and feelings flowing like a strong stream of the river...without obstacles in sight. and i am sorry the antagonist have caused you so much pain and distrust. i hope overtime you will see that not everyone is like that and that your trust will be regained again, that you will love again.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Nadia :) You were gone a long time I almost forgot about this write already haha... much appreciated my friend :)