My Own Prison

Here is a poem that hits close to the heart on dark, depressing days.

I can no longer look in the mirror,

The sight of this face disgusts me.

I can no longer live life in fear,

Fear of the mistakes that plague me.

 

Struggle to produce a perfect me,

Perfection, just a mystery.

Chasing dreams far from reality,

The root cause of my misery.

 

I have become a slave to my many wrong doings…

A slave to depression, heartbreak and my demise.

Temporary love, hatred, pain and temptations;

I have created my own prison through my lies.

 

Choices in life come back to haunt me.

 Extricate this curse from my soul.

Break these cuffs to regain my freedom,

Too late, self-pity takes its toll.

 

In this lonely prison some call life…

I take it one day at a time.

Until air no longer fills my lungs,

And I crumble away and die.

Author's Note

I used a 9,8,9,8 ; 9,8,9,8 ; 12, 12, 12, 12; 9,8,9,8; 9,8,9,8 format for this write. Let me know what you think

Reviews

[BougaTimeBongo]

I have to agree with Jaycee - the metered structure and the rhymes flow well, you've done a nice job with creating a natural read, none of the rhymes feel forced nor does the timing. This is a dark, dark place you come from and I can understand that. I have read a couple of your pieces now, and it does seem that you delve into the dark more often than not. I would love to read some lighter pieces that incorporate the skills you clearly have with structure and rhyme, or free verse - I like free verse lots too.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you I appreciate your review very much :) I will work on a lighter piece... most my stuff does tend to be on the darker side.

[Sydney]

That's ok, consistency is a very good trait

[Amber Lily]

You did very well putting these formats together. Overall it comes off as one great piece. This explains a lot of things that I wonder when I look in the mirror everyday. Often I wonder what the meaning of life even is, and if we will get an answer before the end. All we can do is go day in and day out to find out the truth. Great work :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Amber :) I put the most effort into this piece and I am glad you liked it... means a lot :)

[E G TEN]

Hey Bro, great stuff here man. No matter how strong we are, this has
Got to be one of our weakest qualities, some Animals that we feel superior upon, don't even have this characters, we are vulnerable, shamed, and imperfect in so many ways, that's why we tend to lacked our selves up in our own cage... Wonderful write, Thanks for sharing! :-)

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks a lot buddy... appreciate your review. Most the things that happen in life we do to ourselves :)

[flickering candle]

i honestly relste to this so much. i understand this. a slave to our own mistakes. wonderful

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Catrina.... I put a lot of thought into this one so to hear you like it feels good :)

[Zoey Ree]

This piece is wonderful! It was as if you spoke the deepest thoughts of my heart and soul. Thank you for this beautiful yet dark emotional piece.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Zoey. I am glad you can understand these words and where it came from :)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Hey Aaron really the journey of some life's is all miserable & gets dark with time....You portrait the picture very nice!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much... glad you enjoyed it my friend :)

[Reina Love]

I love this one I felt in one with it like I wrote it lols but I didn't of course haha.

[AaronFreitas]

haha thanks Reina :) I am glad you could relate to it :)

[micky]

Loved the format and ur flow is excellent
This poem reminds me of familiar thoughts. ....Ai those inner torturous though. ....
well done Aaron. ..."hugs"

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Micky.... I put a lot of work and thought into this one trying to make it one of my most personal and well structured writes. I am glad you liked it :)

[micky]

I'm so honoured to have reed this and I am so proud of u Aaron....

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you micky :) I appreciate your compliments :D

[Emma Kirchhoff]

Very well expressed poem, something that I can really relate to as well. None of the wording broke the flow of reading, and you were able to keep the rhymes purposeful and not too much of a stretch. Very nice piece!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Emma... good flow is always good when reading so I try and make sure my pieces flow well. Appreciate your review :)

[BLitZeD]

well structured, something im still working on , and for that you earned my admiration, nice rhymes as well

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much blitzed! I try my best buddy :)

[Clara]

There is a natural cadence to this piece, and I really admire how well it rhymes (I've always struggled with that). Dark thoughts maybe, but I've been there too. Lots of feels.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Lara :) Rhyming is something that's always come easy for me... I guess it's more of a habit now and harder to write not rhyming haha... I appreciate your review on this poem this one is important to me :)