My Own Prison

Here is a poem that hits close to the heart on dark, depressing days.

I can no longer look in the mirror,

The sight of this face disgusts me.

I can no longer live life in fear,

Fear of the mistakes that plague me.

 

Struggle to produce a perfect me,

Perfection, just a mystery.

Chasing dreams far from reality,

The root cause of my misery.

 

I have become a slave to my many wrong doings…

A slave to depression, heartbreak and my demise.

Temporary love, hatred, pain and temptations;

I have created my own prison through my lies.

 

Choices in life come back to haunt me.

 Extricate this curse from my soul.

Break these cuffs to regain my freedom,

Too late, self-pity takes its toll.

 

In this lonely prison some call life…

I take it one day at a time.

Until air no longer fills my lungs,

And I crumble away and die.

Author's Note

I used a 9,8,9,8 ; 9,8,9,8 ; 12, 12, 12, 12; 9,8,9,8; 9,8,9,8 format for this write. Let me know what you think

Reviews

[BougaTimeBongo]

I have to agree with Jaycee - the metered structure and the rhymes flow well, you've done a nice job with creating a natural read, none of the rhymes feel forced nor does the timing. This is a dark, dark place you come from and I can understand that. I have read a couple of your pieces now, and it does seem that you delve into the dark more often than not. I would love to read some lighter pieces that incorporate the skills you clearly have with structure and rhyme, or free verse - I like free verse lots too.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you I appreciate your review very much :) I will work on a lighter piece... most my stuff does tend to be on the darker side.

[Sydney]

That's ok, consistency is a very good trait

[SoberBunny]

I can relate to this so much... you've really captured the prison feelings perfectly and with a beautifully crafted rhyme. Great work. :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you SoberBunny :) I appreciate your feedback... I am glad you can relate to it :)

[SoberBunny]

Just don't crumble away and die ;]

[AaronFreitas]

I'm definitely trying my best :)

[wordman]

hold your head up high and know you did your best,god will take care of the rest

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you wordman.... I have been doing my best to hold my head high and than God for everything I am blessed with in this life. Appreciate it buddy :)

[Gee]

And I crumble away and die..........not for many years yet young fella,not for many years.A super write Aaron

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Gee :) Yeah I'm thankful for as many years as I can get out of this life :)

[Ghazal]

wow very powerful poem............where one can easily relate to during those dark moments

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Ghazal :)

[Pryde Foltz]

One is only ever a prison to her own mind … master that and one will always be free. You captured the angst of self-induced suffering with poetic aplomb:)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Pryde :) That's what I was trying to capture was that kind of sense of being locked away in the mind and the restrictions I put on myself :) I am glad you liked it :)

[modtoddinc]

Ahh the tortured artist... yeah me too... I do like this poem Aaron, I hear, and see the truth. Good format. I am more moved by the e parallels in this one.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much... I appreciate your kind words buddy!

[FaeryQueen]

i loooooooooooooove this one!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Khatoon :) This is my personal favorite and the one I poured my heart into as well as time and effort to really make it the way I wanted it.

[Wordzika]

Your words are laced with sincerity and are totally relatable. Nicely done !

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much :) Appreciate your compliments :)

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

This is absolutely stunning....it mesmerizes! Fantastic job describing your emotions....emotions we have all felt. You painted a gorgeous (albeit dark) portrait. Very nicely done.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Jane :) This is a piece that I actually took some time to work on. I wrote the entire thing out then went back and made some adjustments. Then went back and put it into the format its in then played with it til I was satisfied. One of the few pieces I've put some work into so I am glad you liked it :)