Was it a dream?

A dream/nightmare I had the other night.... decided to write about it.

I reach for help, no one is there

I try to breathe, gasping for air

Suffocate me, can’t take my soul

Desecrate me, a spirits toll

Try to escape, but I just fall

To my scarred knees, I plod and crawl

Still cannot breathe, frantic for air

Can’t pull away, Lord hear my prayer

Hands cover mouth, death seems so near

Open my eyes, grab rest my fears

For I am awake, twas just a dream

Demons can’t take, my soul from me

Author's Note

:)

Reviews

[Cherub]

Loved this. My favourite lines were "Hands cover mouth, death seems so near
Open my eyes, grab rest my fears
For I am awake, twas just a dream"
Personally, i think this imagery was fantastic. You really made me and almost feel what was happening. Very fluid with movement and keeps a nice pace. :^) Thanks for the great read, Aaron!

[AaronFreitas]

haha no lie when I read your favorite lines I was like did I write that or did she add that lol... it's been a while since I've read this and it was nice to go back to the mind set I was in. It's been forever since I've written so thanks for your review my friend :)

[JayceeC]

Aaron, I think you and River Rei are having the same dreams...seriously. Well written. You did well keeping the tension moving in this so that it does not stagnate or loose suspense. one little typo in line 4 spirit. other than that, no real criticism for this

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Jaycee... I think I reviewed your writing the same time you did mine :) Yeah... River Rei and I have this connection right now... hopefully she takes over the nightmares haha... thanks for the review :)

[JayceeC]

Love her! Have been reading her writing since before she followed Nadia here, and she is talented, and beautiful inside and out. going to read your review now!

[RAOrourke]

Loved this! I love the way the flow just pulls you along and into the nightmare. Your words brought about the action and fear through imagery! Great job!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you... I'm glad you loved it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful poem with a strong and good ending.
"Open my eyes, grab rest my fears
For I am awake, twas just a dream
Demons can’t take, my soul from me"
I like and agree with the above words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Coyote :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Christopher Zuelke]

Nice! I'm a big fan of poetry, and have just recently read "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Elliot" and let's just say, you're writing is with the greats my friend! Loved it!

[AaronFreitas]

Damn that's awesome I appreciate your kind words my friend!!! That means a lot to hear such awesome praise... thank you!

[XxFawnxX]

Wow, this was great! Reminds me of the dreams I have sometimes. Well done!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much... I sure was hoping others would relate :)

[MOON]

To sleep perchance to have a nightmare... with apologies to Shakespeare , can imagine relief at waking up. Expressive write.

[AaronFreitas]

Definitely relief in waking up my friend :) thanks for the review

[sereenaoutloud]

you describe this so well i can feel it. Nightmares horrid things! i like how it also represents the struggle of good and evil! nicely done Aaron!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Serena :) I tried my hardest to give the reader a view of what I went through and it wasn't easy but I'm happy with how it came out :) thanks for commenting my friend :)

[sereenaoutloud]

you are always welcome, the view was clear and well written!

[micky]

Wow this is truly amazing and painfully beautiful... i'm in love with your words dear friend, well done!!!!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Micky :) I appreciate your comments... it's always nice to hear things like that. Just kind of motivates to keep writing when you know it's appreciated... thank you :)

[~]

That's a terrible nightmare. I have those myself sometimes. Not fun at all.
You've done a wonderful job transcribing it, into a poem.

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks friend.... I've been having some of those more and more lately so I'm not sure what's up. It did give me something to write about though :)

[~]

Aww.. Sorry to hear :( hope they will go away soon. :)

[~]

and happy belated bday :) april rocks!!!

[AaronFreitas]

Haha thank you I am getting too old!!!

[~]

hey!!! don't talk about old! mine is tomorrow :)

[~]

don't listen to FT :) he is just jealous of our eternal spring :)

[AaronFreitas]

Haha nice an Aries also... I knew you were awesome for a reason haha

[~]

Just watch out so we don't but heads lol.

[AaronFreitas]

Haha I'm to friendly to butt heads... I'm a nice aries haha

[Kousika]

Nice dream... :))

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much... it was a different write as I've never tried to portal a dream I had into words. Thanks :)