To start with, you pose a question about silence. Is there such a thing as silence - complete silence - in other words, no sounds whatsoever? The answer is clearly in the negative, as you show us in the poem. At the end, you state: "There is always sound. Always music. You just have to listen." Sometimes we are not attuned to what we are supposed to be hearing. I see a structure in this poem. The middle verse I would describe as the crisis of "The Awkward Silence" - one where you desperately want to fill in with sound, your own sound, without realizing that there are other sounds you are failing to hear. I also like the inversion of "bird, brook, insect, person" and then "person, insect, brook, bird" in the first and third verses. I think it is significant that in the third verse you start with the person, who has a chance to listen to the sounds which then come to the ear - the insect, the brook, and then the bird. You also add "by your window" as an invitation to the person to persevere in hearing the sounds. Enjoyment then comes from that experience. I liked this poem as well.
To start with, you pose a question about silence. Is there such a thing as silence - complete silence - in other words, no sounds whatsoever? The answer is clearly in the negative, as you show us in the poem. At the end, you state: "There is always sound. Always music. You just have to listen." Sometimes we are not attuned to what we are supposed to be hearing. I see a structure in this poem. The middle verse I would describe as the crisis of "The Awkward Silence" - one where you desperately want to fill in with sound, your own sound, without realizing that there are other sounds you are failing to hear. I also like the inversion of "bird, brook, insect, person" and then "person, insect, brook, bird" in the first and third verses. I think it is significant that in the third verse you start with the person, who has a chance to listen to the sounds which then come to the ear - the insect, the brook, and then the bird. You also add "by your window" as an invitation to the person to persevere in hearing the sounds. Enjoyment then comes from that experience. I liked this poem as well.
To understand the world around us is very important, we must blend in to continue living. Sometimes silence is a blessing that we can have just for a short time, cause a lot of silence will make us crazy. We have senses to use, not to shut down permanently, sometimes they only need to rest for a little while, then the senses thrive for what attracts them. Thank you for sharing this fine write.
I like the paradoxical title. Reading this poem got me asking the question and truth be told there isnt any silence. Not if you listen hard enough. Clever one
Beautiful, i can just picture a flowing river going through an open forest, the birds chirping, and the bugs buzzing. I can definitely say this is one of the best poems i've read and i have read my fair share..
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Well, thank you very much. Can you think of anything that needs to change? Does the punctuation ma.. read moreWell, thank you very much. Can you think of anything that needs to change? Does the punctuation make sense? I debated whether I wanted all the commas or if I should just leave the end of the lines the same. Does any line not flow quite right? Please be critical! I'd like to publish someday.
9 Years Ago
It flowed nicely in my opinion but i am also not as experienced as the rest, heck just read a few of.. read moreIt flowed nicely in my opinion but i am also not as experienced as the rest, heck just read a few of my poems and you'll know what i mean, but i have a feeling that you are on the right track. I just know you'll get published someday :)