Friends

I'm not trying to throw out any teen angst.

This may be wordy, and I apologize for that. My best friend of three years has completely abandoned me upon me getting a boyfriend.   I knew beforehand that my friend was in "love" with me, and has asked me out on numerous occasions. And yet while I have rejected him everytime, I know he still believed that I was his conquest. So when I got a boyfriend he cussed me out, blamed me for not manufacturing feelings for his fantasy romance.  The last three months he's avoided me, preferring to sent violent texts to my boyfriend, with only one to me about how much we anger him.   "I can't even begin to understand how both of you managed to piss me off so much."  Just a few days ago, he tried to have a heart to heart with me, explain get hat he acted out, how he's sorry while he had his reasons for being angry.

He said I don't have to forgive him.  And I didn't.

It wouldn't be the first time he's lashed out at people because he couldn't control his emotions. Either out of jealousy or sorrow: he never learns.  During this fiasco, I realized that he had no respect for me, and I was his to woo.  It wasn't until after that I found out from other guys around me that he had basically told them to f**k off if they were to have any romantic interest in me.  I'm not his outlet, and I didn't forgive him.  I don't want him in my life anymore, regardless if I have a significant other or not.  

I suppose my main reason for writing this is my new-found loneliness. Sure I have friends and a boyfriend. But I have no more real close friends given that I had singled him out as my only close friend.  Not to mention that he would get possessively jealous were I to share another close relationship. But, I need to repair, and build new multiple friendships.  Because I
 know, that while its hard and unfair now, I know I made the right decision in pushing
him out of my life.  I have one year of high school left, and while it may be the end of the world for him, I haven't even started yet.