Mountainside Serenade

The first song I wrote in my "professional" writting stage.

We held eachother's hands

Till they

Were pale numb and discolored

We didn't care

It was all the same

And we laughed at irony

Of that

Old folk saying

He ain't got enough sense

To come in out of the rain

 

CHORUS

It's the blue light in the morning

And the

I am the mockingbird

If I only had my Gethsemane today

Yeah, the blue light in the morning

And the

I am the mockingbird

If I only had a mountain I woudl sing

 

I kissed you on the hand

Said it was

Just to warm you up

But it really was to show

How much I cared

You told me all of your secrets

And then you

Started to shiver

And you told me what you'd said

Had made you scared

 

CHORUS

 

Bridge:

You played me your sweet music

But I got lost in the translation

Of the mixed emotions with

Him being there

And mostly I just listened

And I wondered who had not

Or for that matter

Who would ever dare.

 

Now I sit here and ponder

What I

Think your eyes were telling me

Do I really want to do

This all again?

Our shapes shifted in the moonlight

Time was in a bubble

As we

Watched the clouds form

Shadow mountains

 

CHORUS

 

Yeah, if I only had a mountain I would sing....

And if I only had my Gethsemane today.

If I only had a mountain I would sing.

If I only had a mountain I would sing.

Reviews

[Dennis Shanaberg]

The second verse was very well written. Excellent wordchoice with the contrast of warming her up and then her shivering. I really like this. But I am not quite sure how it would work as a song.
Don't take that as criticism. Perhaps it is just me being unimaginative.
Also, I don't completely understand why the allusion to Gethsemane. Once again, it may just be me not fully understanding the piece. But overall it's very well done. Good flow, and as I said, brilliant word choice. The emotion can be felt in each line. Keep it up. This is an excellent start.