There's no competition

A Story by Celina Ulliel

She was sure he liked her as much as she liked him. Yes, she was very sure of that. But not anymore. He pursued her as if all he ever wanted was her. He spent time with her like she was the only person worth his time. He was willing to do anything for her, but that was when he was pursuing her. Or until a few months after that. Eventually, everything changed.

It was confusing, really. It's as if her mind became a whirlwind of irrelevant pieces that won't fit. She keeps on trying to get them connected because that's what she's good at, or so she thought. She's actually out of that dark abyss that couldn't let her think, but that shining light at the end of the tunnel wasn't her salvation.

The girl of his dreams. He always talked about her in the most gentle way a guy could ever do. She's that fragile, and he took care of her even in his words. Whenever she passed by, he followed her with his eyes like a sunflower following the direction of the sun, and when he can't see her anymore, he'd smile and feel contented. She's perfect, he said. She's pretty, smart, funny, and kind.

The only problem is, the girl of his dreams is not She.

The girl of his dreams was part of his past, one of the girls she thought he had already forgotten about. But no. Her memories still linger, and she can't do anything about it.

She thought it's unfair, that she has given everything that is due to him given they are bounded by their relationship yet he still thinks of the girl of his dreams. Deep inside he still wanted her, but all she got is someone who is the exact opposite of her.

She can't help but think that all the walks they had in the park, all the times they stargazed together, all the times they cuddled, he was thinking of the girl of his dreams. The girl he once had but got out of his hands. She can't help but think that, all those times he looked into her eyes, he was actually looking past her and not at her, perhaps hoping that somewhere inside her, he would find something that would remind him of the girl of his dreams.

That girl left him when he was madly in love with her. That girl was so great in his eyes. That girl was perfect for him, and it's sad that she, the girl who's loving him presently, cannot compete with that.