The Phoenix: A Time To Change
A Book by JessJames
 a rough draft of the story. Not quite finished. It needs to be wrapped up to a conclusion and a fair bit of work doing.  © 2008 JessJames
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Author's Note
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disregarding grammer issues. What do you think of the storyline, dialogue and flow?
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Reviews
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I think it's a decent story line. The dialogue is a little complex for the average mind. Flow was good though, i did notice your using something compltetely diffrent for speaking. You should be using " not '. Another problem I have with it, is it's too long for one post. You need to cut it up into chapter's, because if someone see's how long it is. Very rarely are they going to read the whole thing in one sitting. So I'd chop it up a bit. Otherwise pretty decent story. Is their more to come?
Also, check out my stories, espically "The Waging War".
Peace
Posted 16 Years Ago
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191 Views
1 Review
Added on April 10, 2008
Last Updated on April 11, 2008
Author
JessJamesBristol, United Kingdom
About
My name is Jess. I'm from Bristol and have trying been trying to write since I was little. My strength tends to be in descriptive text and I am currently trying to improve on my dialogue and grammer... more..
Writing
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