edge to prove

i speak of two edges
one that i lost and that
of another that is pushed

the one that is pushed
is the most dangerous
of which you can go over

does one cause the other
known of the losses is
what that pushes the other

not talkin of lovers lost
even as i speak is that
can be the cause of

canst the lost loves cause
the lost of the edge
which canst push the edge

while a love speaks of
unconditional love forever
even as i experienced steel clad

steel was not as stainless
i knew clad steel was not
but made me think of others

the other loves are not so
ironclad i thinks while
speaks of always be there

what is of strings or no strings
what of that with words of love
or without wanting demonstration of love

such is love to hurt
never wanting love
but the demonstration

demonstration is proof
stroke per stroke
proof is the release

if that is all i can get
then give me the release
better to be filled with love then feel

 

Reviews

[Eldee]

I am slightly confused- but I have a feeling that this is because this poem is so beyond my intellect that I can't grasp it (I also have a perpetual migraine right now). What I did manage to understand was brilliant- and I have a feeling I could have understood more if you had concentrated on either past or present tense (I found you jumping between the two several times), and if you have used a bit of punctuation here and there.

Overall though it was well written. I especially like the last stanza, it provokes thought :)