The Toy Retirement

Being sentimental can be tough, especially when it comes to "Toy Retirement." It is, however, a necessary phase of motherhood; a turning point.

There comes a time in every good veteran mother's life when she must embark upon an arduous and difficult task. A bitter-sweet turning point that may very well yield bountiful tears and heartache. One that is lavished in tender memories of days gone by; days that passed far more quickly than she had anticipated for her now 23, 20, and 18-year-old. A time that she must give away, throw away, pack away or sell the toys that were so much a part of her children's lives, but also hers: The Toy Retirement.

Though many toys have already been given away, a few stragglers are left in my attic. The big brown over stuffed teddy bear with one eye missing, the doll with matted hair from submerging her one too many times in the bath tub, the multitudes of Barbie dolls, and the talking Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story with all of the adjustable parts, that announces clearly when the button is pushed, "To infinity and beyond!" The stuffed purple Barney that sang the song the whole family sang together in carefree merriment, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you�won't you say you love me too?"

The neon colored sand toys in the green Rubbermaid container are sitting neatly behind the white wooden playhouse with green shutters in the backyard. They are faded and worn and have seen years of sand play beside the blue swing set long since sold at a garage sale.

As I sit in my wrought iron lawn chair and gaze across the green grass at the play house, I think about the little cement block patio I had wanted to make outside of it, the sign I had wanted to paint for the entrance, and the other projects that didn't transpire because three kids meant crazy schedules: Baseball, softball, soccer, roller hockey, swim lessons, field trips, friends, and over nighters. Playing taxi was just something I did back then.

I've been busy washing a menagerie of stuffed animals I brought down from the attic to pack away securely for the grand kids. There are multitudes of colorful beanie babies, stuffed ducks, bunnies, and bears. I stop and reminisce about each one as I go, pondering where they came from as they disappear one by one into the clear Rubbermaid container for safe keeping. Some were favorites and were slept with, while others adorned the crocheted netting in the corner of each of their bedrooms near the ceiling, suspended by 3 white hooks, and left to peer over the edges as if to guard their rooms each night.

Toy retirement has been just one facet of the task I have set out to accomplish during this phase of my life. Yet another sentimentality was going through old school papers. It has been time consuming and heart wrenching. I couldn't help but smile when I found the infamous cat or dog portrait my oldest son Shawn drew, who admittedly wasn't an artist. My daughter Michaeli was notorious for coloring beautiful collages. And then there was my youngest son's notes�they each hold a special place in my heart.

The most recent one I ran across on yellow construction paper penned by my youngest son, Chad, stole my heart when he gave it to me as a young boy, and reading his words brought back the vivid memory of that day: "I love you mommy. From your secret "mirror" (admirer)."

Oh, the memories. Oh, the yearning to turn back the clocks for only a day of the 1-year-old birthday parties and the cake smeared faces, the sticky fingers, the "I love you, mommy's," the sweet and gentle kisses, the dandelion bouquets hidden inconspicuously behind their backs, the knee scrapes and the band aides. The little arms reaching up to me begging to be held, "Mommy, hold me," "Tell me a story," or "Will you rock me, mommy?" I said then as I would say now, Yes, my darling. Yes�Yes�A thousand times, yes" for you won't be little long. I know that full well.

Cleaning and scrubbing
Can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned
To our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs,
Dust, go to sleep�
I'm rocking my baby,
And babies don't keep

(Author Unknown)

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really so beautiful Carole! It is so emotional that it even made my eyes wet while I was reading it...
"Toy retirement" is really a very important and tough phase in any mother's life and this piece of writing came right up from a mother's heart...That's why it is so pure, deep and emotional :)
Thanks a lot Carole for letting us know about this phase of motherhood and sharing your life experience here!
The choice of words are just brilliant and both the pictures are going so well with it! (specially the second pic)
Very powerful piece of writing it is....Awesome!!! :)

[Samuel Dickens]

I think we've still got Buzz Lightyear around here somewhere. A whole drawer full of un-opened happy meal toys, too. The earliest drawing of mine in existence is one that fell out of one of dad's old books. It said on the back of the crayon drawing of a pony "Sammy drew this. Age 8." All parents save some of those things, don't they? Of course you can't keep everything, especially when you've got several children.
A distasteful chore, and one that requires much bravery, too. Bravo, Carole! I enjoyed this very much!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is really very wonderfully sentimental journey through the past... those memories of your kids are so precious... you so brilliantly took us through your emotions as you brought great images of all the reminders you saw and what they made you think and feel, thanks for sharing those fond times with us.

[Larissa G.]

OK, I managed to skim this enough to say it looks like it might be pretty good.
The font color needs to change before I can actually read it without killing my already poor eyesight.
Black, plain as it is, is readable - unlike the neon aqua right now.
If you change the font color, please send me a re request and I will happily return and write a full review.