The Toy Retirement

Being sentimental can be tough, especially when it comes to "Toy Retirement." It is, however, a necessary phase of motherhood; a turning point.

There comes a time in every good veteran mother's life when she must embark upon an arduous and difficult task. A bitter-sweet turning point that may very well yield bountiful tears and heartache. One that is lavished in tender memories of days gone by; days that passed far more quickly than she had anticipated for her now 23, 20, and 18-year-old. A time that she must give away, throw away, pack away or sell the toys that were so much a part of her children's lives, but also hers: The Toy Retirement.

Though many toys have already been given away, a few stragglers are left in my attic. The big brown over stuffed teddy bear with one eye missing, the doll with matted hair from submerging her one too many times in the bath tub, the multitudes of Barbie dolls, and the talking Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story with all of the adjustable parts, that announces clearly when the button is pushed, "To infinity and beyond!" The stuffed purple Barney that sang the song the whole family sang together in carefree merriment, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you�won't you say you love me too?"

The neon colored sand toys in the green Rubbermaid container are sitting neatly behind the white wooden playhouse with green shutters in the backyard. They are faded and worn and have seen years of sand play beside the blue swing set long since sold at a garage sale.

As I sit in my wrought iron lawn chair and gaze across the green grass at the play house, I think about the little cement block patio I had wanted to make outside of it, the sign I had wanted to paint for the entrance, and the other projects that didn't transpire because three kids meant crazy schedules: Baseball, softball, soccer, roller hockey, swim lessons, field trips, friends, and over nighters. Playing taxi was just something I did back then.

I've been busy washing a menagerie of stuffed animals I brought down from the attic to pack away securely for the grand kids. There are multitudes of colorful beanie babies, stuffed ducks, bunnies, and bears. I stop and reminisce about each one as I go, pondering where they came from as they disappear one by one into the clear Rubbermaid container for safe keeping. Some were favorites and were slept with, while others adorned the crocheted netting in the corner of each of their bedrooms near the ceiling, suspended by 3 white hooks, and left to peer over the edges as if to guard their rooms each night.

Toy retirement has been just one facet of the task I have set out to accomplish during this phase of my life. Yet another sentimentality was going through old school papers. It has been time consuming and heart wrenching. I couldn't help but smile when I found the infamous cat or dog portrait my oldest son Shawn drew, who admittedly wasn't an artist. My daughter Michaeli was notorious for coloring beautiful collages. And then there was my youngest son's notes�they each hold a special place in my heart.

The most recent one I ran across on yellow construction paper penned by my youngest son, Chad, stole my heart when he gave it to me as a young boy, and reading his words brought back the vivid memory of that day: "I love you mommy. From your secret "mirror" (admirer)."

Oh, the memories. Oh, the yearning to turn back the clocks for only a day of the 1-year-old birthday parties and the cake smeared faces, the sticky fingers, the "I love you, mommy's," the sweet and gentle kisses, the dandelion bouquets hidden inconspicuously behind their backs, the knee scrapes and the band aides. The little arms reaching up to me begging to be held, "Mommy, hold me," "Tell me a story," or "Will you rock me, mommy?" I said then as I would say now, Yes, my darling. Yes�Yes�A thousand times, yes" for you won't be little long. I know that full well.

Cleaning and scrubbing
Can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned
To our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs,
Dust, go to sleep�
I'm rocking my baby,
And babies don't keep

(Author Unknown)

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really so beautiful Carole! It is so emotional that it even made my eyes wet while I was reading it...
"Toy retirement" is really a very important and tough phase in any mother's life and this piece of writing came right up from a mother's heart...That's why it is so pure, deep and emotional :)
Thanks a lot Carole for letting us know about this phase of motherhood and sharing your life experience here!
The choice of words are just brilliant and both the pictures are going so well with it! (specially the second pic)
Very powerful piece of writing it is....Awesome!!! :)

[Luis Gabriel]

well done and well written...it was very sad, made me wish i was five again back when finger painting was too awesome for words and recess was the highlight of the day. However, i must say that this one was powerful outlet of emotion in memoir form.

peace

-luis

[Legion]

You trying to make me cry. Jeez. Wonderful write though, even though it was hard to read through teary eyes. Good work. Kudos to a wonderful life even if it is bittersweet looking backwards.

Oh, Buzz says "To infinity and beyond", not affinity. LOL ;)

[AK]

My grand-daughters are growing up way too fast for my taste. I know how you feel with this piece my friend!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A beautiful writing. Lovely poem. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Mr. Lopez]

I often wondered what happened to all of my old favorite toys.Your poem makes your readers recognize one of the many facets to being a mom. How wonderful and tearful each step of growth can be . This is a touching poem and i am finding that most of your work is . ok ok ok .... ALL OF YOU WORK. Thank you for including us all into such personal moments of you family's life.

Peace

Mr. Lopez

[Valentine]

This sounds like my mother's attic and how it was stuffed with our old things and later the next generation woukd play with them..i remember my brother Joe telling his twin sons they could not play with the train because it was"HIS" Nice ,,true write..Sadly I was not blessed with babies I lost them before they were born..God bless..Valentine

[J. Hampton]

Carole ~

I love...this
a mothers reality..
This ...is one of ...the only ...things my husband and I stand at polar opposites on..." sentimental - keepings "or that's what I call them. Mothers rite-of-passage.

( the poem and the picture killed me ...a piece after any mothers heart )

I always thought all the sentimental �sniff n' blubber was a mom-only thing.
( I will message you a short tale from my own life )

Funny �after the fire ...my eldest called begging me to get in the house and scavenge the rubble to recover her stuffed bunny she had since 1st grade
( a nasty filthy broken-neck ~ formerly lavender ~ now eye- and whisker-LESS gray ) She asked me to sew its neck and wash it.... go figure she didn't look for her" Tiffany" charm- bracelet�her "Baby-Phat " vest.. or diploma �
Just this 14 yr old smoky, funky bunny.

I found it�her Grandmother washed it 6 times�its still a lil' charcoal scented but she's pleased as one could be.

Great write Carole
Blessssssssssssssssssssssss

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is a loveley piece and Thank you for sharing it with us.
Hugs Debby

[Michelle Tarnowski]

From one veteran mother to another, you have a perfect description of what it is like to pack away memories wrapped up in each toy. My youngest just got married in june and I am going to make her come over to take care of all those toys and other things she has left behind because I don't want to spend the day crying by myself.

[Larissa G.]

It reads like a sweet little journal entry.
I definitely found some fragments and tense mistakes, though. ^_^0 But it's sweet. Some of it is a bit jumpy, and reads more like an essay without the hooks...but it is overall sweet.
Besides, the picture reminds me of all my toys still hiding underneath my bed. :)