The Toy Retirement

Being sentimental can be tough, especially when it comes to "Toy Retirement." It is, however, a necessary phase of motherhood; a turning point.

There comes a time in every good veteran mother's life when she must embark upon an arduous and difficult task. A bitter-sweet turning point that may very well yield bountiful tears and heartache. One that is lavished in tender memories of days gone by; days that passed far more quickly than she had anticipated for her now 23, 20, and 18-year-old. A time that she must give away, throw away, pack away or sell the toys that were so much a part of her children's lives, but also hers: The Toy Retirement.

Though many toys have already been given away, a few stragglers are left in my attic. The big brown over stuffed teddy bear with one eye missing, the doll with matted hair from submerging her one too many times in the bath tub, the multitudes of Barbie dolls, and the talking Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story with all of the adjustable parts, that announces clearly when the button is pushed, "To infinity and beyond!" The stuffed purple Barney that sang the song the whole family sang together in carefree merriment, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you�won't you say you love me too?"

The neon colored sand toys in the green Rubbermaid container are sitting neatly behind the white wooden playhouse with green shutters in the backyard. They are faded and worn and have seen years of sand play beside the blue swing set long since sold at a garage sale.

As I sit in my wrought iron lawn chair and gaze across the green grass at the play house, I think about the little cement block patio I had wanted to make outside of it, the sign I had wanted to paint for the entrance, and the other projects that didn't transpire because three kids meant crazy schedules: Baseball, softball, soccer, roller hockey, swim lessons, field trips, friends, and over nighters. Playing taxi was just something I did back then.

I've been busy washing a menagerie of stuffed animals I brought down from the attic to pack away securely for the grand kids. There are multitudes of colorful beanie babies, stuffed ducks, bunnies, and bears. I stop and reminisce about each one as I go, pondering where they came from as they disappear one by one into the clear Rubbermaid container for safe keeping. Some were favorites and were slept with, while others adorned the crocheted netting in the corner of each of their bedrooms near the ceiling, suspended by 3 white hooks, and left to peer over the edges as if to guard their rooms each night.

Toy retirement has been just one facet of the task I have set out to accomplish during this phase of my life. Yet another sentimentality was going through old school papers. It has been time consuming and heart wrenching. I couldn't help but smile when I found the infamous cat or dog portrait my oldest son Shawn drew, who admittedly wasn't an artist. My daughter Michaeli was notorious for coloring beautiful collages. And then there was my youngest son's notes�they each hold a special place in my heart.

The most recent one I ran across on yellow construction paper penned by my youngest son, Chad, stole my heart when he gave it to me as a young boy, and reading his words brought back the vivid memory of that day: "I love you mommy. From your secret "mirror" (admirer)."

Oh, the memories. Oh, the yearning to turn back the clocks for only a day of the 1-year-old birthday parties and the cake smeared faces, the sticky fingers, the "I love you, mommy's," the sweet and gentle kisses, the dandelion bouquets hidden inconspicuously behind their backs, the knee scrapes and the band aides. The little arms reaching up to me begging to be held, "Mommy, hold me," "Tell me a story," or "Will you rock me, mommy?" I said then as I would say now, Yes, my darling. Yes�Yes�A thousand times, yes" for you won't be little long. I know that full well.

Cleaning and scrubbing
Can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned
To our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs,
Dust, go to sleep�
I'm rocking my baby,
And babies don't keep

(Author Unknown)

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really so beautiful Carole! It is so emotional that it even made my eyes wet while I was reading it...
"Toy retirement" is really a very important and tough phase in any mother's life and this piece of writing came right up from a mother's heart...That's why it is so pure, deep and emotional :)
Thanks a lot Carole for letting us know about this phase of motherhood and sharing your life experience here!
The choice of words are just brilliant and both the pictures are going so well with it! (specially the second pic)
Very powerful piece of writing it is....Awesome!!! :)

[lots fo love ♥]

that was great. so emotional. i loved it

[Mintwhiskers]

it was okay great description

[T. L. O'Neal]

I remember all of that too. Next will be the looking at the old wedding albums and grand kid's photos. They all mark a period in our lives and a milestone in theirs. They will always come and give us a bittersweet picture in our lives and theirs. Wonderful write and thanks for the memoires. T

[Jayne Ann Saporito]

Oh, how we have to pack away the segments of our lives! This is beautifully written and takes me on a trip far back in time. Now I wish I had saved more for my new grandbaby! I still have a stuffed lion from my childhood. Couldn't get rid of it. I went back one time and plucked it back out of the Goodwill Box. Still have it, will never give it away again! That was a close call!
My babies are 28, 26 and 22. How I would want one last hug and "I love you, mommy," given by little arms and innocent hearts! I think it's coming, though. My granddaughter is 8 months old..............
Congratulations on a perfect story with the right amounts of pathos, joy and longing PLUS enduring LOVE.

[Jenny Davis]

I had chills reading this...What a wonderfully eloquent story. Your words rose from the emotion and sentiment, I was enthralled from line one. It's so sad when children grow up...but then again, there are now new memories to make. Thank you so much for writing this...what a great mother you must be! :)

[Celtic Cat]

gah. WC ate my review. This is wonderful. It touched me right in the heart - reading a lot of heart-touching pieces today!! I must confess - I still have toys in the attic. Once I thought I was saving for kids, but now I know I'm just saving for me. The teddy I stole from visitors from Scotland. Well...they let me keep it when they saw how, attached, I had become to it!!! My barbie Dream House with some furniture.. was growing up too quick before mom got me all the furniture. I'll stop before going on and on about me. I love this piece. What a tender moment. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. Brings me back to when they took my blankie away!! Oh...sad times, sad times!! Thanks for the tears, honey!!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is so beautiful and touching. My Teddy Bear (His name is Wink because he looks like he's winking) says he's not tready to be retired so I assured him with a hug that I have no such plan in mind. lol delightful.

[bluessadmood]

yes this is very sad its like talking about our whole life,we dig hard ,walk and run,work our brains out through this life ,only waiting for a day to come where we have,to say good bye to life ,here i stop ,i want to rest ,or i am forced to take a break,for its a waste ,after all the efforts i have done i have to say ok life ,ok friends here i stop and say goodbye for i want to rest ,its the end of a long road ,i have done my best ,you will take it from here,my eyes all wet,i am sorry this is life ,dont blame me,its her to blame ,for i did not cower but it was she who told me sorry you are out of this game,though with tears in my eyes ,i had to obey ,though reluctant ,i have to die,moayad

[Phill Oz O'fee]

One definition of retirement reads; a state of being withdrawn from the rest of the world or a former busy life. Funny how the most precious object in the world fades into insignificance, after our picture learning years pass by; only to be rekindled as reminisces when rediscovered in a dusty storage box.

Wonderful descriptive composition, highlighting the importance of life's sign posts. It's all about family unity; a commodity which nowadays seems to be in short supply.

Thanks for a great share!

Phill(ozofee)