To Thine Own Self Be True

How easy it is to deceive even ourselves with lies and think they are true. If we tell enough of them, it will eventually taint our ability to see the truth.

 

The truth will set you free. But first, it will

p_ _ _  you off.

Gloria Steinem

 

 

The truth will always hurt.  None of us want to hear it. Sometimes we’re not accustomed to telling it.   I have had a few friends in my time tell me the gut wrenching truth about myself.  Truth that made my heart cringe like a two-edged sword piercing right down to the quick of my heart.  After reeling from the shock of what was said, I picked myself back up off the floor, I bellied on up to the bar and took it like a woman should. 

 

You see, I believe that a good friend loves us enough to tell us the truth.  We may not always want to hear it, and it may tick us off, but in the end, we will be better for it. I love what Henry Ward Beecher has to say about true friendship:  “It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.” 

 

Lies are a lot like puppies.  They follow us wherever we go.  If we tell one, we will have to tell another to cover up that one, and then we will have to cover up that one by telling another, and so on.  Eventually we will forget who we told what to and a downward spiral enshrouded in a cloud of confusion will be the result.  It won’t be long and we will be seen as a dishonest person. Mark Twain says it best:  “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember any thing.”

 

Character is a desirable character trait, at least for me. “A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor than silver and gold” says an ancient proverb.  I respect an individual that has common morals and cares about what they project to our world through not only their words, but also their actions.  

 

Abraham Lincoln was dubbed “Honest Abe” after paying off his debts when a store he owned went bankrupt and legend has it George Washington confessed that he “could not tell a lie” after chopping down a cherry tree.  It was important then and it is important now.

 

While I am far from perfect, I pride myself on being honest and telling the truth in situations that I encounter.  I can’t, in good conscience lie to anyone or for anyone and I sleep a lot better these days. The character Polonius in the play Hamlet, while preparing his son Laertes for travel abroad has him commit a few precepts to memory.  Amongst them was the most important one:  “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou cans’t not be false to any man.” 

 

A lie very simply defined is a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood; something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture; to speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive; to confess what is false; convey a false impression. *

 

Deception is a bedfellow with lies.  It is defined in this way: An inaccurate or false statement; to mislead by a false appearance or statement; delude; to mislead or falsely persuade others; to practice deceit. * 

 

Oh, I have told plenty of lies.  Who hasn’t?  I have subtly lied through my teeth when my world came crashing down around me and my heart was breaking in two, when somone asked how I was doing and my response was, “Fine.”  I have stretched the truth through exaggeration to make myself feel better about who I was and to look better to others.  But, not once can I honestly say, I felt good about it.  My conscience would simply not allow it.  Deep inside of my soul, I knew the words I had just uttered were not true.

 

When someone asks me how I am now, if my life is upside down, my dog just died, my car is in the shop, and I just cleaned up a leak from the water heater going out, I simply say, “Well, I’ve seen better days, but the way I look at it, this too, shall pass.  Would you pray for me?”  That way I’m not guilty of the proverbial blatant lie through the teeth, and I feel like I am being true to who I really am.  “Fine,” in some cases, is a bald faced lie and nothing more than pretense.

 

I remember a time in K-mart around Christmas time when I was as broke as they come, and I sauntered on up to the check out stand to pay for an air compressor for my husband.  It was the last Christmas gift I had to purchase, and I handed the cashier my last forty dollars.  My purchase came to thirty dollars and some odd cents.  The cashier gave me $20.00 back in change.  I skipped all the way out to the car smiling like a little kid that had just snuck a cookie from the cookie jar.  My conscience won’t allow me to get away with such things now.  My kids would attest to that.  They have seen me get all the way out to the car with my shopping cart and realize I had something under my purse that I forgot to pay for and march right back into the store to pay for it.  Why?  Because the way I see it, we reap what we sow.  It all comes out in the wash.  I cannot practice deceit or tell a lie, simply because my conscience will no longer allow it. 

 

Honesty, they say, is ALWAYS the best policy.  That truth still stands today!

I’ll leave you with one more “Old Honest Abe “ ditty:  “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.”

 

* Dictionary.com

Reviews

[Michael X]

i love this piece because of the ammount of perfect intent put into each well placed sentence,
as you open with a convicting image defining truth in balance. this is an encouraging writing
because there is so much food for thought, and it leaves the reader with a feeling of
knowledge, there are many aspects that can be pondered and reflected upon which
in turn reflects the quality of the writing, and its ability to effect the reader, as well
as well as being able to find a new sense of wisdom each time it's read, beautifully envisoned.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Absolutely.

Your right that we all tell those little lies, they are the hardest to get away from. Sometimes it seems easier to shade the truth just a little bit rather than own up to what we know is true. It does all come out in the wash and in the end, we aren't any better off for it. Those little lies only harm ourselves and those around us.
Excellent writing Carole. You did a great job with this!

[Gary H]

Completely agree with you. Very difficult to avoid hearing a lie a day though. Someone, somewhere will tell one. I guess the nature of my job in dealing with the public means I hear a lot of things that may or may not be totally accurate....
I know that if I do not tell the truth, lies will always haunt me. I find the 'deception is a bedfellow with lies' very exact as I know a number of people who sweat away their nights knowing they will be caught out eventually.

Very enjoyable piece.

[Candle in the wind]

Thanks for sharing this. I feel reassured to hear that the truth will set you free no matter how much it hurts at the beginning.I admire your conviction and courage.