To Thine Own Self Be True

How easy it is to deceive even ourselves with lies and think they are true. If we tell enough of them, it will eventually taint our ability to see the truth.

 

The truth will set you free. But first, it will

p_ _ _  you off.

Gloria Steinem

 

 

The truth will always hurt.  None of us want to hear it. Sometimes we’re not accustomed to telling it.   I have had a few friends in my time tell me the gut wrenching truth about myself.  Truth that made my heart cringe like a two-edged sword piercing right down to the quick of my heart.  After reeling from the shock of what was said, I picked myself back up off the floor, I bellied on up to the bar and took it like a woman should. 

 

You see, I believe that a good friend loves us enough to tell us the truth.  We may not always want to hear it, and it may tick us off, but in the end, we will be better for it. I love what Henry Ward Beecher has to say about true friendship:  “It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.” 

 

Lies are a lot like puppies.  They follow us wherever we go.  If we tell one, we will have to tell another to cover up that one, and then we will have to cover up that one by telling another, and so on.  Eventually we will forget who we told what to and a downward spiral enshrouded in a cloud of confusion will be the result.  It won’t be long and we will be seen as a dishonest person. Mark Twain says it best:  “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember any thing.”

 

Character is a desirable character trait, at least for me. “A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor than silver and gold” says an ancient proverb.  I respect an individual that has common morals and cares about what they project to our world through not only their words, but also their actions.  

 

Abraham Lincoln was dubbed “Honest Abe” after paying off his debts when a store he owned went bankrupt and legend has it George Washington confessed that he “could not tell a lie” after chopping down a cherry tree.  It was important then and it is important now.

 

While I am far from perfect, I pride myself on being honest and telling the truth in situations that I encounter.  I can’t, in good conscience lie to anyone or for anyone and I sleep a lot better these days. The character Polonius in the play Hamlet, while preparing his son Laertes for travel abroad has him commit a few precepts to memory.  Amongst them was the most important one:  “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou cans’t not be false to any man.” 

 

A lie very simply defined is a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood; something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture; to speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive; to confess what is false; convey a false impression. *

 

Deception is a bedfellow with lies.  It is defined in this way: An inaccurate or false statement; to mislead by a false appearance or statement; delude; to mislead or falsely persuade others; to practice deceit. * 

 

Oh, I have told plenty of lies.  Who hasn’t?  I have subtly lied through my teeth when my world came crashing down around me and my heart was breaking in two, when somone asked how I was doing and my response was, “Fine.”  I have stretched the truth through exaggeration to make myself feel better about who I was and to look better to others.  But, not once can I honestly say, I felt good about it.  My conscience would simply not allow it.  Deep inside of my soul, I knew the words I had just uttered were not true.

 

When someone asks me how I am now, if my life is upside down, my dog just died, my car is in the shop, and I just cleaned up a leak from the water heater going out, I simply say, “Well, I’ve seen better days, but the way I look at it, this too, shall pass.  Would you pray for me?”  That way I’m not guilty of the proverbial blatant lie through the teeth, and I feel like I am being true to who I really am.  “Fine,” in some cases, is a bald faced lie and nothing more than pretense.

 

I remember a time in K-mart around Christmas time when I was as broke as they come, and I sauntered on up to the check out stand to pay for an air compressor for my husband.  It was the last Christmas gift I had to purchase, and I handed the cashier my last forty dollars.  My purchase came to thirty dollars and some odd cents.  The cashier gave me $20.00 back in change.  I skipped all the way out to the car smiling like a little kid that had just snuck a cookie from the cookie jar.  My conscience won’t allow me to get away with such things now.  My kids would attest to that.  They have seen me get all the way out to the car with my shopping cart and realize I had something under my purse that I forgot to pay for and march right back into the store to pay for it.  Why?  Because the way I see it, we reap what we sow.  It all comes out in the wash.  I cannot practice deceit or tell a lie, simply because my conscience will no longer allow it. 

 

Honesty, they say, is ALWAYS the best policy.  That truth still stands today!

I’ll leave you with one more “Old Honest Abe “ ditty:  “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.”

 

* Dictionary.com

Reviews

[Michael X]

i love this piece because of the ammount of perfect intent put into each well placed sentence,
as you open with a convicting image defining truth in balance. this is an encouraging writing
because there is so much food for thought, and it leaves the reader with a feeling of
knowledge, there are many aspects that can be pondered and reflected upon which
in turn reflects the quality of the writing, and its ability to effect the reader, as well
as well as being able to find a new sense of wisdom each time it's read, beautifully envisoned.

[Brenda Sue]

This is just great, awesome work. Easy to read and enjoyable with a great message. Wonderfully penned.

[Carrie Montgomery]

"You see, I believe that a good friend loves us enough to tell us the truth. We may not always want to hear it, and it may piss us off, but in the end, we will be better for it." All of my close friends and I feel the very same...you are right, Carole, we are very much alike! :-)

[None]

I wanted to add something here. You wrote about the attributes of telling the truth. You should be commended for it, and not by having others tell you how great lying is. I am smart enough to know when someone is deceiving me and others and I lose faith in that person.
Some people are comfortable in their bed of lies. It is SO much easier than being honest, and when you don't have a conscience the lies become second nature.
Make all the excuses you can dream of but lying is not the right thing to do.
Great job, Carole!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Very well written!
This is such a true piece and I agree that somewhere only we know how much justice to truth do we give to ourselves and to this world!

This write actually left me with many thoughts and thus forced me to question myself (see, that's the immense power of your write!)

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time."- I like this ending quote the most! It's somehow summed up the entire feel and yeah also that pic above is going very well with it!

Such an amazing write..Thanks for sharing it :)

[Celtic Cat]

Yeah, well, I'm a damn liar. Can't be helped some days. Like yesterday, I went to visit a mutual friend of my man's and I, and he asked me to not let him know he just had a bad accident. So I boldly lied like a rug when asked how he was doing. I generally don't believe lying is a good thing at all, but I've done my share and most likely will lie again. Why do I lie? It depends on the situation. Do I sleep at night? Very well, thank you. I guess when you've done as many bad things as I have in my life, lies just don't seem to ring very high on the Rictor scale. I don't like to be lied to, so I know my lying goes against the whole "do unto others" thing, but I think that religion is the biggest lie being told, so to adhere to their standards most likely would be to lower mine. As for the extra change....there was a day I went all the way home with it, only to drive back and hand it back over. That was YEARS ago. A few months back they forgot to ask for my $80 for my meds at the pharmacy...and I drove right away happy as a pig in s**t. I'm a no good thief, too, I suppose. So....while I completely understand the value of honesty (as well as many other values out there) still I fall short, sometimes by habit "I'm fine"...sometimes by necessity "no, Dad" lol. Otherwise, I'm a pretty stand up gal. haha...if you can believe me!!
I loved the line about bellying up to the bar like a woman should. Hilarious. I don't know the motive behind this piece, but if you've just uncovered a lie, I'm sorry. If you just wanted to remind yourself of the value of truth, than good job! And spreading the word?? Good job as well.

[Rain]

That's alot of truth. lol Great piece. But, there are times to lie. Telling the truth is not an absolute. The old patient who has only weeks to live. I would not tell them. What purpose would there be , to be able to say we are truthful ? We tell lies all the time, and it's a good thing. There is a time to be truthful. We know when it is. " Do I look fat in this dress ?" " You look beautiful." Great piece. Rain..

[None]

I really enjoy learning from you, Carole. You are a fine teacher and use quotes and examples to flavor your own beautiful writing, making your stories a true delight to read. I especially like this....
"A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and
loving favor than silver and gold" says an ancient proverb."
It may not seem like it at the time but it always pays off in the long run to do the right thing.
Your story concerns something I learned in grade school--it was too hard to keep track of any lies, so I told the truth and even when it hurts myself or others. It's the only way to go.
"While I am far from perfect, I pride myself on being honest and telling the
truth in situations that I encounter. I can't, in good conscience lie to anyone
or for anyone and I sleep a lot better these days. "
The world today seeks perfection and I do believe that is why some lie. I'm glad you pointed out the difference here between perfection and honesty. Magnificent writing!

[youngwriter222]

Telling the truth can defiently be hard for boh people but in the end it will make you feel better to know that you did the right thing. You have brought a message to people who read it, you will make them think about lying and how i can hurt worse than tellig the truth. I agreed with every word that you said.
We are all liars and probably do it at least once a day. I know I've been in deep debt with lying, but like you said "if we tell the truth we do't have so much to remember" because when you tell a lie it keeps on piling up and until you tell the truth you will get buried.
"The truth will set you free"
I like how you used quotes from different people.

Thanks so much for sharing, I reall enjoyed it!
Sarah

[Jason]

This was great. "The truth shall set you free." I myself used to be a prisoner to my lies, a slave if you will. The freedom that comes with truth is undeniable. I like the analogy with the puppy dogs. Very good write Carole! And thats the truth!

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I always hear that one day the truth will set you free, even if the turth hurts. Completely agree. This was an enjoyable read.

Great Write, Carole.