Self-Made Prison of Defeat

Self-made Prison of Defeat

 

I enter the self made prison of defeat

I didn’t want to come here-I didn’t ask for this

Who needs this torment?

Who needs to bask in this slow dripping I. V. of poison?

 

I wasn’t convicted or sentenced

But here I am-by choice—my choice

Living in this place of defeat

Licking my wounds while I seethe with bitterness

 

I can feel the infection growing

My wound, a puss-filled cess pool

Begging for release

Begging for cleansing

 
Why am I here?

I hate it here

It accomplishes nothing

It doesn’t hurt them

 

They probably don’t know

They probably don’t care

And yet, in my twisted mind

I think I am making them pay

 

Am I am getting sweet revenge

Through basking in this hell?

Everything within me cries

Can’t you see the pain you have caused?

 

Are you so blind that you don’t see?

This pain you have caused me…

How can you be so careless and so utterly insensitive?

I want you to feel this that you have created

 

Come and bask in this torment just for a moment

Come and suffer for awhile

You need to suffer as I have

You need to feel what I feel

 

They never come-they never see

They are blind and oblivious

As I toil in this cycle of defeat

And look on and grieve silently within

 

I cry out for relief

From this place of silent agony

I want out-I want out now

I can’t go on like this…it’s not worth it

 

Looking out the prison door one last time

I pick up the key and walk slowly to the door

The puss-infected wound draining away from me

My choice ushered in a freedom I did not expect

 

I can go on with life

Free from my self-made prison of strife

Free from the turmoil that sought to destroy

Free

      Free

             Free—that’s where I want to be

Reviews

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is such a true and empowering piece most people don't realize that they hold the keys to those prisons
of our own making. As long as we are blaming others for what they did we can't see that we have Imprisoned ourselves. Great write.
Hugs Debby

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

T.L. has wise words regarding this poem. It is a bit ambiguous to me as to what the torment is - whether it be illness, mistreatment or a true prison sentence - either way it is okay as the stretch and need for freedom in the end is very hopeful and releasing. Thank you for sharing this.
Light,
Siddartha

[T. L. O'Neal]

This is a fascinating poem that holds such truths. No matter what happens in our lives, fault of our own or not. The fact still reminds that we have freewill and we can choose to fret and be angry of how our lives are or we can move on and be a positive force in our own life and others as well. T

[Dezaraye]

I know this place well. I wish it were as simple as it sounds to walk away from it, but I seem to always find myself back here. The longing and pain in your words is tangible. I like that it has a hopeful, happy ending. Thanks for sharing it with me.

[BrightEyes]

so many times anger and bitterness can cause us to isolate ourselves...cutting off those who've hurt us...thinking we are in some way paying them back. When in reality, we only hurt ourselves. I love the metaphor of the prison here...and how you've placed yourself there...that you've had the key to your freedom the whole time...wonder ful!

laura

[Genie]

It never ceases to amaze me how we find the people and their writings that we're supposed to at certain times -- and this is one of those times. What a brutally honest and, therefore, freeing poem here! I too have seen this prison too many times, but I know too that freedom and it is joyous when it comes.

Bless you for this and for your work and ministries. With poems like this, it's obvious why you do what you do!

[An Ordinary Woman]

I know the prison well, my name is etched on the walls there.

You are right it is a choice but never an easy one.
I feel two emotions in this piece, its almost like this is two poems squished together. I commend you for letting it out, something I could never do while caught up in the emotions.

I can go on with life

Free from my self-made prison of strife

Free from the turmoil that sought to destroy

Free

Free

Free-that's where I want to be ... I especially love the form you used here, it adds amazing impact to an already powerful piece.

Hugging you, Woman.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Powerful write. You are so right, we do have freedom to stay or go, some just would rather be miserable i suppose.

Just one thing I saw, a typo in this stanza:
Am I am getting sweet revenge
Through basking in this hell?
Everything within me cries
Can't you see the pain you have caused?

Other than that, excellent work.