Self-Made Prison of Defeat

Self-made Prison of Defeat

 

I enter the self made prison of defeat

I didn’t want to come here-I didn’t ask for this

Who needs this torment?

Who needs to bask in this slow dripping I. V. of poison?

 

I wasn’t convicted or sentenced

But here I am-by choice—my choice

Living in this place of defeat

Licking my wounds while I seethe with bitterness

 

I can feel the infection growing

My wound, a puss-filled cess pool

Begging for release

Begging for cleansing

 
Why am I here?

I hate it here

It accomplishes nothing

It doesn’t hurt them

 

They probably don’t know

They probably don’t care

And yet, in my twisted mind

I think I am making them pay

 

Am I am getting sweet revenge

Through basking in this hell?

Everything within me cries

Can’t you see the pain you have caused?

 

Are you so blind that you don’t see?

This pain you have caused me…

How can you be so careless and so utterly insensitive?

I want you to feel this that you have created

 

Come and bask in this torment just for a moment

Come and suffer for awhile

You need to suffer as I have

You need to feel what I feel

 

They never come-they never see

They are blind and oblivious

As I toil in this cycle of defeat

And look on and grieve silently within

 

I cry out for relief

From this place of silent agony

I want out-I want out now

I can’t go on like this…it’s not worth it

 

Looking out the prison door one last time

I pick up the key and walk slowly to the door

The puss-infected wound draining away from me

My choice ushered in a freedom I did not expect

 

I can go on with life

Free from my self-made prison of strife

Free from the turmoil that sought to destroy

Free

      Free

             Free—that’s where I want to be

Reviews

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is such a true and empowering piece most people don't realize that they hold the keys to those prisons
of our own making. As long as we are blaming others for what they did we can't see that we have Imprisoned ourselves. Great write.
Hugs Debby

[J. Hampton]

Some nasty but incredibly effective metaphor here !
The bold large font...perfect for a strong piece such as this
loved the way you ended it ...with the font growing in size.

Was jusat speking on this....

"fear" ...and "self-pity".... or even plain "self"
the nucleus of excuse ....and a useless life ....paralyzing !

Prison....is a state of mind
"as a man thinks in his heart ...so is he " ~ Matthew 6:21
There are people in natural prison for a life sentance or paraplegics...or terminlly ill folks....or dirt poor folks...that are NOT prisoners of their circumstance .... they are FREE !

When the stock market crashed ...back in the day.... millionaires jumpeed off high rise buildings...( in prisoned by their own minds)
Go figure?????????
Love this powerful and provocative truth !!!

Blessssssssssss

[Emily B]

It is up to us to free ourselves. Give away the pain and bitterness. Bury the hate and anger. We can decide to replace the negative with Love. It is up to ourselves to change our lives.

A very emotional write.

[Helen Woodward]

WOW Carole what a terrific statement you have made here! I was recently told in review that the victims of gossip are more often than not the perpetrators! And I can see exactly where you are coming from. People so carelessly insult or hurt, then walk away leaving a trail of debris. I believe they are aware of what they are doing and that's the most difficult part to come to terms with. This kind of behavior is rarely accidental, but a choice made by troubled and vicious minds. You rightly point out that it is the perpetrators who seem to win in the end...but they only think they are free.
Great piece of philosophy *Applause*
Helen xxx

[Fran Marie]

So much truth in this write, bitterness and resentment toward another will only have the boomerang effect and cause you the pain~Another powerful and profound write~Well Penned~Fran

[J. Brumbaugh]

This is powerful! I plan of posting it on myspace bulletin , for there are a few people on my friends list who may receive help from your work. I will also add your name and the name of this site in case they would like to read more of your work. Thanks. I write, but haven't done so for a long time. When I am done with my schooling ...I plan on getting back to my lifework. Thanks for the inspiration!

[kamikazebuterfli]

so very true...good write!!!

[*** Hey Jude***]

This whole poem is full of truth that truly shows when we hold on to negative feelings of unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment they wil eat us alive like a cancer. I have been through times in my life that I felt sad about the place I was in, but as I grew older I realized over and over that things could always be worse. My God promised me that there was nothing he would put before me that I could not handle.We always have a choice to hold on to pain or to let it heal... even if we don't, the world around us continues to grow. Very nice ~ Jude xo

[Valentine]

The best thing to do in this situation is to let go and Let God..I lived with a abuser and when I went for freedom I ran over a thousand miles..I am free but I still had to forgive him to get my mind free as I wish to go to Heaven one day..the sad part is..the one doing these things keeps on going with their life and they think they have done absolutely nothing wring..they are to be pitied..God bless// Valentine

[.]

Man, u hit it right on the head here. This was absolutely magnifico! U described it so well too. Also too, it is so very hard and frustrating in life, and it seems that we have done it to ourselves rather than others had done it onto us. Still, many dont understand our woes of what we go through, yet they still banish us to this 'prison.' We try to get up and be better, however, with no help from others, and the cries unheard, we rot away in our own prison of guilt. Awesome write!

Mikey

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Did you have a choice or were you caught "between a rock and a hard place", forcing you to make a decision you didn't want to make? I got the impression there were two forces restricting your movements. Firstly, hope that your circumstances might miraculously change, pulling emotions in one direction and realisation that this was never going to happen, in the opposite. Often it is the opposite direction of these forces that causes the sticking point and you were unable, for some particular reason, to do something that you would have liked to have done, but fear of the unknown held you back. Such is the nature of denial!

The structural use of bold text and stabbing lines emphasizes the pain and turmoil of such a torment. A tragedy avoided however, as the ending turns to a positive reflection of your self reconciliation and escape, though courage and refusal to be defeated.

Brave write!

God's Blessing
Phillozofee