Self-Made Prison of Defeat

Self-made Prison of Defeat

 

I enter the self made prison of defeat

I didn’t want to come here-I didn’t ask for this

Who needs this torment?

Who needs to bask in this slow dripping I. V. of poison?

 

I wasn’t convicted or sentenced

But here I am-by choice—my choice

Living in this place of defeat

Licking my wounds while I seethe with bitterness

 

I can feel the infection growing

My wound, a puss-filled cess pool

Begging for release

Begging for cleansing

 
Why am I here?

I hate it here

It accomplishes nothing

It doesn’t hurt them

 

They probably don’t know

They probably don’t care

And yet, in my twisted mind

I think I am making them pay

 

Am I am getting sweet revenge

Through basking in this hell?

Everything within me cries

Can’t you see the pain you have caused?

 

Are you so blind that you don’t see?

This pain you have caused me…

How can you be so careless and so utterly insensitive?

I want you to feel this that you have created

 

Come and bask in this torment just for a moment

Come and suffer for awhile

You need to suffer as I have

You need to feel what I feel

 

They never come-they never see

They are blind and oblivious

As I toil in this cycle of defeat

And look on and grieve silently within

 

I cry out for relief

From this place of silent agony

I want out-I want out now

I can’t go on like this…it’s not worth it

 

Looking out the prison door one last time

I pick up the key and walk slowly to the door

The puss-infected wound draining away from me

My choice ushered in a freedom I did not expect

 

I can go on with life

Free from my self-made prison of strife

Free from the turmoil that sought to destroy

Free

      Free

             Free—that’s where I want to be

Reviews

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is such a true and empowering piece most people don't realize that they hold the keys to those prisons
of our own making. As long as we are blaming others for what they did we can't see that we have Imprisoned ourselves. Great write.
Hugs Debby

[~angelalala~]

this is a good poem. many of us find ourselves in this situation. unable to escape the clutches of darkness, depression, misery. we think we are making others pay for their mistakes, when sadly we are the ones who are taking the fall, as the rest go about their normal lives. i like the ending, you picking up the key & walking out of your prison. very hopeful & inspiring. a good write.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really powerful and for the fact that it's very true as somehow I often feel the same..
Being trapped in my own world, totally helpless and screaming for help(Ahmm! seems like I'm talking about my writes lolz :D )

"It accomplishes nothing

It doesn't hurt them"- I loved these lines the most in the entire piece, they actually wounded me :(

A great write and writings like this are always are always included in my good books :D

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This idea you have expressed here in this piece directly reflects the same sort of thinking that Thoreau and Emerson wrote about. Excellent.

[Candle in the wind]

Yes you are right we are trapped in our self made prison of plight it comes like a flash of enlightenment and we can set ourselves free the day we decide we will and stop looking back.We hold the key ourselves and can heal ourselves.Thank you for this!

[Celtic Cat]

This is truly powerful and I think universally felt. I've spent my life building and knocking down prison walls, and still....it's this stuff that led me to the poem you found. When I know I'm not following my path, it hurts to the core. My sister once told me (and I don't know the original source to quote) that to not follow your heart is a sin against your soul. This is the pain I feel we suffer as we build our prison walls. A most beautiful piece, with an empowering ending. Perfect.

[Rain]

Wow..
I have been missing out on some amazing writing. WHY haven't you sent me a read request ? This is fantastic. I don't know what happened, but it is so obvious you were awakened in some way. Your writing is fresh..bold/fearless, and wise. I like real writing. Not to offend, but I don't want to have to decipher paragraphs. You didn't escape prison. You served your time and learned from it. Wonderful write. Rain..

[D. L. Hutson]

you are one of my fav. writers too. I love this piece and I lived there too. I think everyone can relate in someway with this. I enjoyed it.

[Blackbirdsong]

I really love the points you make here and it's so true too. We can drown in bitterness and destroy our lives with it or we can forgive and move on. Half the time the people who have caused us whatever misery don't notice or care about what we feel - or else why do it in the first place? So remaining bitter is essentially giving them power and making us their perpetual victims...and who needs that?

Great job.

[Lafayette]

So many dont see beyond their own door as they set their own prison. Very nice, very nice indeed

[Yvonne Heidt]

This is an excellent write. Period. Reading this I realize that the prison in my mind that I know so well! Things are looking up though. Thank you for sharing!