Behind the Smile

I have to admit, I hate pretense. This world is crying out for the real. Does anyone really "care" any more?

“How are you?  How are you?” we ask without thinking

Do we want to know the truth, or would we prefer lip-synching?

It’s like saying “Have a good day” just to be polite

Just a statement we make, common and trite

 

The truth be known, we don’t always want to know

As we utter these words to the average Joe

The response is the same from the majority that answer

“Just fine,” they say with a few word enhancer

 

When behind the smile and the “Just fine”

Their heart is breaking but they want to be kind

So they keep on pretending and smiling politely

Behind a mask of pretense, common and tritely

 

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Carole, this is so true.. i do it all the time, if i were to say how i really am people would run the other way lol i do want to hear hoe people are doing, really doing.. still as your poem goes

The truth be known, we don't always want to know

As we utter these words to the average Joe

The response is the same from the majority that answer

"Just fine," they say with a few word enhancer

This is the norm.. love this poem of reality.

Chloe
xoxo

[Blackbirdsong]

Then there is the other side of this when you ask someone how they are and they give their life's story and you stand there thinking, "why did I ask?" while making mental notes never to ask them again. LOL

Just the same I almost always do anyway even when I know I'm going to hear about everything that's happened to them since the womb. I figure they need to vent and I'm a good listener - most of the time. Okay so occasionally while they're talking I will think about something else, but for the most part I'm right there.

Great job with this Carole and you're right about pretense. I've been on the other side of this when someone asks me and I know they don't care and give them a polite response. Not a comfortable place at all.

[Tania Leigh]

Amen on this --- "How are you?" and "Fine, and you?" are some of the most over-used phrases in our language....simply automatic pleasantries. I am guilty of it, too lol

Maybe the next time someone someone responds with "Fine", I will say "No...really...how ARE you?"
He he, that should make things interesting.

Great write!

[None]

Guilty here. People may ask how I am doing and I say "Fine," due to time constraints and not wanting to burden anyone with my whining. I do like to keep it real and anyone who really knows me can tell what I'm thinking pretty much. I'm not good at playing poker and can never keep my hand a secret. You bring up valid points so nicely and well worded as well. Very thought provoking!

[BrightEyes]

oh so many times it is just words...someone will ask "how are you" and they are turning away or moving away before they've even finished the sentence. there was a time when neighbors truly cared about one another - it has vanished with the fast paced world we've created for ourselves. another probing write - one that forces the reader to look within themselves.

laura

[Emily B]

Smile like you mean it, and stop to hear the answer. Important words you've written here. I'm glad I came by them.

[Genie]

Another penetrating and well-crafted exploration into why we do what we do -- or don't do!

I wonder too if one of the reasons we tend towards this lip-service/synching is because we're afraid ourselves, afraid someone will ask US and either 1) really want to know, in which case will we want to expose ourselves that way? or 2) like us, they'll ask and not really want to know.

Lots to think about and ponder here!

[Rain]

You certainly pulled the covers off the day to day pleasantries. I'm one of these people who truely stops and waits on an answer. lol. Usually though, it's me who reveals more than the person really wanted to know. I've made many friends by answering truthfully. I probably have lost a few,too. Most times when I ask " How's your life going" ? I'm looking for an answer. Not always, sometimes it's just a courtesy to ask, but I care about others life..and by devulging my flaws and dysfunction it usually makes them feel more normal. This was a great piece, it makes you check your own sincerity. Rain..

[Lydia Shutter]

All too often people ask "how are you?" without wanting an answer at all. There are many out there who need a friend and a friendly ear could be life changing to those people. Your words ring true...too true. Well written. lydia

[Yvonne Heidt]

"When behind the smile and the "Just fine"
Their heart is breaking but they want to be kind
So they keep on pretending and smiling politely..."

I am SO guilty of this. I believe that some people really DON'T care... Then again, sometimes I get sick of myself actually telling people how I really am.

Great write.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Very nice and filled with truth- I feel like today's society is simply use to no one caring.

Definitely, it is so sad. Thanks for this, as always your message is wonderful!