Identity

Charlene Rodrigues, this is my name. But who am I?  What defines me and makes me, ME? Am I that innocent girl who followed people around, hiding behind others because I was just too shy? Am I the girl who tied my hair in high ponytails and wore a hair clip to school every day? Or the girl who was never good with boys, the one who stood behind where other girls got their attention. How about the girl who was never good at cooking, never had makeup on, the plain Jane who never had the attention of others, instead was always 2^nd choice. Am I the girl who march in own band? Who laughs at her own jokes and still does it and still finds herself funny? The girl who put everyone else before her, who cared what others thought of her and cared if someone else was feeling out of place, the girl who made sure no one felt alone or out of place at a group because she knew deep down how that felt like. Am I that overly sensitive women who cried easily even when I was angry? The one everyone said she was too emotional, too sensitive, to toughen up. Easier said than done, truth be spoken.  Am I that woman who grew up and then realize she was already beautiful, she was already good enough and she didn’t need anyone’s approval to run her life or tell her what is best for her or what suits her and how to do this, do that, like a puppet on a string? Am I that girl who stood up for her own heart when it got broken so many times, the women who begged like a fool just so that he could stay one more sec, one more day with her? The women who had much more attention, more than she could asked for and secretly love the fact that that silent girl back then is now that confident women, proud of how she looks, contented by the way she is inside and outside. Or am I that woman who occasionally needed someone to tell her its okay and a simple hug to reassure her everything is fine.  Somehow along the way, we forget who we are. What makes us, what define us as person, our identity gets lost in the midst of living life through other peoples opinions and judgements and the pain, the hurt, the lost and everything else life throws at us. But end of the day, sometimes all we need is a reminder, to stop and reflect and find ourselves again, to save our minds from being our own worst enemy. Because we all deserve to be happy. One way or another. 😊